swizzly

LOL...Brits have better food than they are reputed to, generally. But a chip butty might be an exception to that LOL. It is a sandwich where the filling is French fries, usually sandwiched between slices of buttered white bread (not toast), people sometimes add brown sauce or ketchup on them. It's only tasty if you were raised there I believe.

Sleeve4me, you look totally gorgeous!! I'm also up 12-15 lb, so I feel ya.

Meant to say thanks as well to Sarsar for the kind words. I'm glad I'm not alone. And congrats Georgia for soldiering on, our 5:2 banner carrier! And M2G, so good to see you again! I feel OD must have a names cheat sheet printed out. I'm so useless at names that I just revert back to screen names all the time. It's me, not you!!

Hi all, thanks for the kind words and encouragement. <3 CONGRATS on the promotion, coops!! You've deserved that for a long time now! Glad your house got done, Cathy, the glass backsplash sounds lovely. ODaisy, will Jim and Bill know you are dating both of them? There's certainly no reason you shouldn't do so, but just curious. CGJ, yes, the anxiety is a killer. I put up with so much stress and overload, but anxiety can bring me down so fast. It's depressing, literally. I worry my anxiety meds will cause me to get Alzheimer's. FYE, your calm and grounded perspective always makes me feel like everything's going to be okay somehow. Thanks for that. Florinda, the food you eat always sounds so good, those muffins sound divine! I need to make some pumpkin soup too. Or maybe I'll make cream of sauerkraut soup. Yum. I also LOVE sautéed mushrooms. Everyone seems to be doing well on the 5:2 again, for me not too bad either. Two weeks in a row now with two fast days and fairly good eating on regular days. I haven't shifted any weight yet, but I feel strongly that I need to exercise more again. Even though I almost always get at least 10,000 steps or more per day, that just doesn't even register as exercise to my body. Getting old is awesome. =/ Even on fasting days, I've been having coconut oil in my coffee in the morning, not counting those calories, to see how it goes. I do find that it seems to offset the effects of the caffeine and curb my hunger. The other thing I've noticed is that I get sort of hot and red-faced for a few minutes right after I drink it. "They" say it's because the coconut oil revs up your metabolism. Hmm, not sure, but staying with the test for now. We started putting it in the dogs' food now too, as it's meant to be good for them too. Not trying to look ahead to next week yet too much, winds me up to do that at the weekend. But it's going to be difficult to find two 5:2 days next week. Have been eating pretty well overall, though, with little blips here and there, so there's that... Hugs to all. <3

SH*******TTTTTTT!! I just typed out a very long post catching up on things and then hit something wrong on the keyboard and caused it to disappear. EFF EFF EFF. I have so little capacity for stress these days, that seriously almost made me cry. I need to remember to regularly to a Ctrl A/Ctrl C whilst I'm typing this stuff out, in case of this kind of thing. :-( Now I don't know where to start cos I used all my wafer thin patience typing it out the first time. Well, I had started off last time by saying CONGRATS to Chi, so I will start there again. So. net-net -- I've gained roughly 15 lb in a short time, cos was maintaining without 5:2 for ages. None of my clothes fit -- not too tight only, but really do not fit. I caved and bought a few things in the next size up (10 for the record, back in double digits with a wardrobe full of 6-8s) and they are already too tight. GUTTED. This causes me to have stress every morning and throughout the day when things feel tight and I have giant muffin top etc. UGH, feel awful and ugly. I started 5:2 again last week, Mon and Tues, and did pretty well. But then had work stuff and a girly weekend trip to Netherlands, so that involved eating, wine, and a lot of walking -- netted out without a further gain, so I'll take it. Just did 5:2 again today, as well, and will tomorrow too -- hate the back to back approach, but it's the only option to work around work events and etc. Did really well today...then after having a lovely chicken salad for dinner, I polished off the rest of the Jelly Bellys I bought in Schipol, as well as a cupcake I'd got there and just "had" to eat before it went to waste. (In addition to the one I ate while I was still in the airport of course. I hate airports/flying so I eat badly and drink too much wine. Sigh.). So I sort of fasted and sort of effed up big time today. I also wonder, as CGJ mentioned, whether 5:2 causes mood disturbances -- I posted about it in the 5:2 forum at some point a long time ago -- the very fledgling (cos they haven't done enough research yet -- imagine that, they haven't tested something properly on women yet. Shee-it) notion that 5:2 has an effect on hormones for women. Who knows. Agreed with my coach, who I hadn't talked to in MONTHS and finally reconnected with, to take 5:2 as a starting point for getting my feet back under me, cos it also has the effect of not drinking wine at least two days a week. Is that sad or what? I honestly don't think I'm an alcoholic, but I've gotten in the very bad habit of self-medicating way too much...and it doesn't help and it DOES make me gain weight. *Sigh* again. I don't smoke much anyhow, and I'm good at quitting, so that's bottom of the list. Cutting down further on wine, getting back in the gym, and doing some sort of meditation or yoga or SOMETHING for stress management, are taking up the middle positions on the list. So many ways to be out of control, so many of them that I'm doing. Unprecedented in my life, btw. I don't even recognise myself. I have GOT to get myself sorted, but then I think that and it causes a sort of despair/fog of self-loathing to cloak me and that makes it worse. I have to find some compassion for myself and just start picking up the pieces again. I can't believe what I've been through; I can't believe all I've given to work over the past couple of years. They don't even deserve it I think sometimes. I don't know. Still lost but starting slowly to try to find my way. Now crying and going to bed to TRY to get some sleep -- god it would help so much if I could just sleep well a couple of nights a week (also on the list, but not sure how to tackle that one). Still super stressed about not having done any taxes and being way behind and not knowing how many billions I owe. JUST. UGH. Don't read my posts, they will wind you right up I'm sure. :-( Thanks for listening. <3

Typed a long reply and stupid app ate it. Grr. Short version is, I'm an all-around mess and I'm feeling quite lost and discouraged.

Hi all -- still reading, not saying much. Still a total mess, this thread is my very thin lifeline. None of my clothes fit. I've not been in such a bad place in a LONG time. So I will just keep hanging on to the thin line and hoping I can get it together again. :-(

I take everything I'm supposed to every day. Together with my Fitbit 10000 steps, it's the fine line keeping me from the abyss. I have to get B12 shots and I'm a bit behind on those, but otherwise I take EVERYTHING I'm supposed to, every single day. Thank god.

I've been trying to follow along, but am still overwhelmed in life and not taking care of myself. Kim, I'm so sorry about the loss of your mother. Many hugs to you. Hope you are doing okay in the circumstances. I lost my dad to melanoma back in 2000 and I still have times I just want to talk to him. Sheryl, sorry to hear about Betty and the stuff that is dredging up for you. Glad you got shot of Steven, though -- I can't believe how self-absorbed he is. That's a no-go in any kind of meaningful partnership, good sex aside. Florinda, am astounded that they made you go back to work like that. Crazy!! I know what you mean about work/the office providing some routine/framework to make it easier to eat right. I wish I didn't need that, but I do. But then, work is also making me crazy, so it's a double-edged sword for sure. I wrote a long email to my friends about what's gone on in the past year and it was shocking to me to see it all in black and white. Just...too much. Way too much. I'm past the end of my tether. And last week, we had to put our dog down, which has made me completely depressed. I miss him so much. I'm just not doing well. I guess I took it for granted cos I had such a relatively easy time of things the first few years post-op. But it's all catching up with me now. I feel fat, I am fat -- I have gained nearly 8 kg above my low weight, which is about 17 lbs. My clothes are tight, my muffin top spilleth over. I feel like shit. I don't sleep well. I don't eat well. Haven't been to the gym in months. I'm overwhelmed. I don't know how to articulate it any better than that. I'm just not coping well. And I started smoking again, and I drink too much, and and and. I'm scared, if I'm honest. I feel like I can't count on myself, if that makes any sense -- and that is not how I normally feel, to say the least. Anyhow. I do think of you all, all the time. I read the new posts, usually a few days later, but I do read them. I hope we will all get through the rough patches intact.

First I've ever heard of this...anyone else? *********************************************************************************** Gut metabolism changes -- not stomach size -- linked to success of vertical sleeve gastrectomy Date:March 26, 2014 Source:University of Cincinnati Academic Health Center Summary: It's not the size of the stomach that causes weight loss after a specific type of bariatric surgery, but rather a change in the gut metabolism, say researchers. They have found that following vertical sleeve gastrectomy, there is a change in bile acids that bind to a nuclear receptor called FXR. In the absence of FXR, the researchers showed, weight-loss success and improvement in diabetes from vertical sleeve gastrectomy is reduced It's not the size of the stomach that causes weight loss after a specific type of bariatric surgery, but rather a change in the gut metabolism, say researchers from the University of Cincinnati (UC), the University of Gothenburg in Sweden and Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center. The scientists, publishing their results in the March 26, 2014, advanced online edition of Nature, have found that following vertical sleeve gastrectomy, there is a change in bile acids that bind to a nuclear receptor called FXR. In the absence of FXR, the researchers showed, weight-loss success and improvement in diabetes from vertical sleeve gastrectomy is reduced. Vertical sleeve gastrectomy, VSG, is a bariatric procedure in which approximately 80 percent of the stomach is removed to create a gastric "sleeve," which imposes a physical restriction on the amount of food that can be consumed at one time. "There are very large debates over how small to make the sleeve," says co-principal investigator Randy Seeley, PhD, professor in the endocrinology, diabetes and metabolism division at UC and director of the Cincinnati Diabetes and Obesity Center. "Conventional thought is when you make the stomach smaller, patients lose more weight because they have less room to put more food and, therefore, eat fewer calories. But as it turns out, the reason why the surgery works is that you are changing the bile acids." This study, Seeley says, is the first empirical evidence that the therapeutic value of VSG is not a result of the mechanical restriction of a smaller stomach, but the result of increased circulating bile acids that are known to bind to the nuclear receptor FXR. That discovery, he says, was made in a mouse model by removing the FXR receptor in obese mice that had undergone VSG. Despite having a smaller pouch, or "sleeve," Seeley says, rodents without the FXR receptor didn't lose weight. Because bile acids and FXR receptors interact with gut microbial communities, the researchers also looked at gut bacteria after VSG. They found that the surgery also results in changes in the gut bacteria. "Importantly, we observed changes in several key bacterial groups that have been previously linked to the risk of Type 2 diabetes, and these changes were related to FXR and bile acids," says Karen Ryan, PhD, lead author and assistant professor of endocrinology, diabetes and metabolism at UC. "Manipulating the gut bacteria is another way we think that we might be able to mimic how surgery works without having to do the cutting and stapling," Seeley says. The significance of this study is in the exploration of future treatments for obesity and Type 2 diabetes, as bariatric surgery is proven to provide substantial improvements in obesity and obesity-related conditions. "There are not enough surgery tables or surgeons to treat the obesity epidemic, so we need to understand how bariatric surgery works so that we can offer more scalable solutions," Seeley says Journal Reference: Karen K. Ryan, Valentina Tremaroli, Christoffer Clemmensen, Petia Kovatcheva-Datchary, Andriy Myronovych, Rebekah Karns, Hilary E. Wilson-Pérez, Darleen A. Sandoval, Rohit Kohli, Fredrik Bäckhed, Randy J. Seeley. FXR is a molecular target for the effects of vertical sleeve gastrectomy. Nature, 2014; DOI: 10.1038/nature13135

Hi all. Sar -- you look amazing! I am in a funk. I've gained 3-5kg over the past couple of months and haven't been to the gym in a long time. I can't wait till my team gets on board and I can finally take a day or two off. I'm nearly burnt out on work. Thinking of you all and missing you... xoxox

I'm so sorry. You're not permanently broken, but changed -- yes. You will live through this. Much love and hugs to you.

I have just had, three years post-op, to start taking B12 injections, cos my levels suddenly went wayyyyy down. Which they said is not unusual. Apart from the injections being minorly painful (not the needles, but the compound itself is a bit burn-y going in. Haven't noticed any difference from doing them, but they said I need them and I'm a compliant patient...

OMG COOPS!!! We were both in London at the same time!! I wish I would have known...we could have at least had a quick hello maybe. Sarah -- you look amazing -- I can't imagine what you're having lifted/tucked...? You look tight as a drum in that pic. (((Sheryl))) Hang in there, lady. <3

Oh good GOD. WTF is that about?!? "Bariatric bullies"?? I soooo avoid everywhere but here, cos omg the DRAMA. I just can't.

Love the Florinda and Jack pic!! <3 Soooooo sorry abt the MS confirmation kicking you in the emotional gut. Hugs

I should add, eventually the bittersweet memories became more prominent than the experience I had lived through -- and sadness remains, but life goes on. And your heart goes on. Truly.

I agree with Irene. I saw a therapist for quite some time, off and on, after going through this. I also went on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds for a long time (and then again later with a bit of PTSD going on). It's nothing to trifle with -- it's truly the hardest thing ever, in my opinion.

Are hospice care well-managing his pain and/or anxiety? Minimizing his suffering should be the primary focus. And again, SO MANY hugs to you. I know this is absolutely grueling and so constantly, exquisitely painful. You will get through it, cry all you need to, and be super gentle with yourself. Try to get as much sleep as you can as well. Forget about anything else, let your focus go where it needs to. <3

I am absolutely APPALLED that they didn't admit you...?!?!? WTAF?! You can't breathe to the point you're turning blue and your BP is 200/110 and they're all, oh, it's a virus, go on home now. UNBELIEVABLE. That BP alone is total stroke territory and let's hope the respiratory problems didn't cause any heart damage, let alone dangerously low oxygen levels per se, and obvious need for respiratory support. I'm beside myself, seriously. And a 103 fever for an adult is major. My god. I'm hoping you're okay, but that is malpractice in my book. It does indeed sound like MERS or a very bad influenza. I guess they're also not concerned about quarantining you for the sake of public health, either. Did they Rx you an antiviral in any case? Or test for what it was? I am completely losing my head over this. What is healthcare like in the US these days?!

Oh my god. Just want to hug you. Please be so gentle with yourself right now.

I think I was probably in the Zurich airport when I posted that. I super HATE the Swiss lounge there cos it's like a small world and I see ex colleagues sometimes that I don't want to see. BUT, being in a 'thin suit' is like a disguise I swear, they never recognise me (or pretend to not see me like I do to them , so I normally just am reminded of unpleasantness rather than having to actually speak to it... haha I worry about complications too, particularly since I have acquired such bad habits lately. I've become unreasonably paranoid of getting an ulcer and dying of it. WTF? I think my jet-lagged, overworked brain is just looking for things to obsess over. I need some sleep so bad. My funk is probably 90 percent physical and I just need to get my shite together already. Sounds like a theme is going on here... Being in the US traumatizes me a little bit anyhow cos the TV news is so dramatic and scary, I try not to watch it, but there are TVs all over the place. I confess right out loud here, that I do NOT stay abreast of current events apart from the bare minimum. It really brings me down in a bad way. I don't need any assistance finding things to obsess over or existential crisis sources... I think I have a big sleeve too -- they don't do small ones here either. In my last bloodwork, my B12 is low (can't remember if I already told you this, so bear with me) so I have to do injections. Fine, but they hurt and I hate that. And it's my first complication so I am trying not to think of it as the beginning of the end. See? I told you I need sleep... Last night I slept like three hours. Been eating badly and not drinking enough (water, that is). Got super sick on the plane for some reason, no clue -- something I ate? I was at one point running up the aisle in biz class with my boss nearby, barfing into my hands cos it came on so suddenly. NICE. I want to say something nice and helpful to everyone, cos that is by far my preferred way to feel/be in the world. I'm just in a bad headspace and stuck in GD work meetings all day today. I'm working my way through a whole dish of (individually wrapped...wut??) Jelly Bellys...so that's good. Love to all. Let's get through this, shall we?

Defo no local support group. Need you all! Sitting in airport lounge feeling alone.

Hey you guys -- I tried to read the linked thread, but it's gone. What happened to Susan? Can anyone tell the story briefly for me? I'd appreciate it. I just read Lynda's post in Vets Forum about long-term follow-up and complications, and ulcer being the most common cause of surgery-related deaths. I have never heard of anyone dying of an ulcer in general, so that surprised me. I'm not doing well in general, don't have time for loads of details -- just bad eating, not enough eating, too much eating, too much drinking, taking up smoking again, etc. I'm up shit creek if I'm honest. Too much hit the fan at once and I'm not managing it well. I'm exhausted and not sleeping enough, and only my walk to/from work gives me any exercise at all anymore, haven't been going to the gym. Feeling out of control and super stressed. Hopefully this passes soon and I can tackle each problem one by one, cos trying to go after them all at once just makes me want to give up... Sorry for the downer post. I've been quiet and trying to keep my head above water...

OMG my heart just grew three sizes...thanks coops and Cathy!! xoxoxoox