Amanda131

Hi Michelle Lee- I am so sorry for the continued struggles. As you were describing your symptoms early in the post I was wondering if you'd been tested for lupus and you confirmed it later in the post. My stepmother has been living with Lupus since 1993. She has had struggles at times but for the most part she is able to manage the condition and have a full and happy life. She lost about 80 pounds five years ago and I know that once her body adjusted to the weight loss she suffered many less complications. Every person reacts differently and I am not suggesting that your condition is or will be the same, but I thought I would offer you a positive example of someone living successfully and happy with the disease. Best wishes as you tackle this! Amanda

I did my own a couple of years ago and, if I remember correctly, I had to look at a few sites and put the info together. If you are being sleeved in the states, most (maybe all?) hospitals give you an opportunity to quickly write up a living will prior to surgery... at least in Texas. Good luck!

THANK YOU for revealing what this acronym means... I was using context clues but still couldn't get it. I was guessing "New Sleeve Victories" but didn't think it sounded right.

Hi Samantha- The research is really interesting with perfectionism and obesity. A key attribute of some forms of perfectionism is that the sufferer will purposely not try on anything they believe there is a chance they may fail. Because of that, perfectionists who struggle with weight issues will often remain overweight... if you aren't really trying then you aren't really failing. If you are interested in reading about perfectionism and ways to overcome its effects, a great book is Too Perfect: When Being In Control Gets Out of Control by Allan E. Mallinger, M.D. and Jeannette DeWyze. I learned so much from this book. It really helped explain some of my silly hang ups that I never would have contributed to perfectionism. I think having read it has really helped me on this side of surgery. Best of luck on your upcoming surgery! Amanda

My doctor also did not require any real pre-op diet other than healthy, normal calorie range eating. He only requires a liquid diet for patients with a BMI higher than 45. And, after surgery I was on full liquids the first two weeks and then went straight into hamburger, eggs, tuna, etc. I have been reading about others experiences and would often wonder if I "got off too easy" or was doing it wrong, but everyone here has also been adamant that each person follow their own doctor's orders so that's what I've done! That being said, I've had no complications and am doing really well with weight loss. I was really surprised about not having a liquid diet especially since I have dealt with fatty liver issues in the past, but the surgeon said that surgery went textbook perfect. He even remarked that he'd wished he'd filmed it for teaching purposes. I am a very "By the book", rule follower kind of gal so this more relaxed approach to what I thought were the "rules" kind of made me nervous when I started reading different peoples' post on here, but again it's working and I am doing great so who am to argue with the guy who has done this thousands of time?

While I am happy with my choice to have the surgery, I should warn you that if you have any perfectionism issues they will likely crop up a bit. I am still dealing with regrets/remorse that I wasn't able to do this on my own without surgery. It's feels a little like failure and as a lifelong perfectionist that's a little difficult to manage. I work a lot with reframing right now. I try to remember that allowing myself to stay heavy when I had a viable solution would be failure. At 5 weeks out, I am much more at peace with my decision and any sense of failure I may have - but it's there. I just wanted to point this out as something to be aware of so you can be ready for it if you deal with perfectionist issues as well. As for the surgery itself, the weightloss and the lifestyle? No. No regrets. It was the right decision for me.

I have a three year old who is very verbal and inquisitive. She knows Mommy stomach was hurt and that I had an operation to make it better. She also knows that Mommy doesn't like or can't eat some foods since I had my stomach surgery. Granted she's younger than your kiddos but these basic explanations seemed to help her move on from all of the questions. I am a big fan of never lying to my child but I also know that some concepts are more than she needs to be burdened with right now. Best of luck to you with your decision! Amanda

OMG- I had those same crazy dreams when I was in the hospital and the week after surgery. I would be eating wonderful, decadent stuff and then remember I had the surgery and freak out trying to figure out how in the hell I was going to get that out of me (I HATE throwing up- haven't done it in 12 years)! In one crazy, hydrocodone laced dream the meal burst out of my stomach in a scene reminiscent of Aliens. Pretty sure that dream alone was responsible for me quitting the pain meds.

I know no two cases are the same but I was sleeved on March 1st and also experienced A LOT of exhaustion. I can honestly say I have rebounded tremendously in the last week. I took the naps, didn't workout and focused on getting in as much Protein as possible during those weak weeks and I think it helped. I also added a little advocado to my diet to try to get some healthy fats in and I think that helped as well. Best of Luck to you! Amanda

Hey PCOS_Chick- What a suck week! One way to view it, is that your due for a few good weeks. I also suffer from PCOS and the massive weight-loss has wreaked havoc on my cycle. I had actually gotten to a point where with the right birth control I was running like clockwork. Since surgery that all went to hell in a handbasket. I read on here that a lot of estrogen is stored in fat and that gets released as we drop the pounds. This could be what's giving you grief in that area. As a dog lover who had to put down her 17 year old dog on January 10th, I really feel your pain there as well. Again, sucks. No nice word for it. *Hugs* Amanda

Ditto to all that posted before me. I think another reason for the obesity epidemic is the prevalence of two working parents in households across America. It's becoming a necessity for many people to have both parents working. When you've both worked all day it's difficult to get a nutritious dinner on the table during the week. It's much easier to eat out or grab take-out. And, you think, "Hey, we deserve this. We both work hard." What you aren't thinking about are the extra calories, saturated fats, etc. that come with those meals. Hubs and I both work in stressful, full-time jobs and have a three year old. We've really started trying to think more about those meals during the week. Even if we fixed sandwiches twice a week we'd be doing better by our bodies than the constant eating out. It's a hard habit to break!

Today marks a month since surgery and I feel pretty great. Of course, it's hard not to feel great when you drop 34 pounds in 31 days. I know the first month loss is special and rarely repeated so I am just going to enjoy that number for a few days. I will say that it is now apparent that I am one of the blessed (cursed?) people who can eat pretty much anything without negative physical effects or complications. I haven't done anything crazy but I am going journal shopping tomorrow and will begin seriously policing what I am eating and what excercise I am getting. I gave myself a month to adjust to surgery but I want to work on developing some lifelong habits so I don't have to ever deal with this again. I want to relax and enjoy life, but I hope I stay ever-vigilant for the carelessness and poor practices that led to the weight gain. I am really scared of backsliding now or one day in the future. At the one month mark, I constantly find myself comparing what I eat now to what I could and often did eat before surgery. The sheer amount of food I used to put away in one sitting much less an entire day now fascinates me. Anyone else having these moments?

Great work and congratulations! It continues to amaze me how much younger everyone looks as they lose weight.

Hello All- Although I only formally registered today, I have been ghosting this site for a couple of months. I can't thank you enough for the posts and comments here. They are so helpful for those new to the process. I am actually pretty far in the process. I was sleeved by Dr. Bonnor in West Houston on March 1st. I've been extremely fortunate to have no complications nor have I struggled with re-introducing foods. Weight loss is going relatively well and that's before adding in fitness (I will return to the gym this week). I almost feel guilty posting that after reading some of the struggles other have endured. Why I had the surgery: I have struggled with weight since I was about nine. I am thirty-one now and I have managed to lose the same 80 lbs. THREE times in the last ten years. However, each time I lost it I would put it back on along with 5-10 more pounds. I actually first considered weight loss surgery in 2003 but only bypass and banding were options. I have had issues with anemia and felt a malabsorbitive surgery just wasn't a good idea. And, the idea of a foreign body in me just freaked me out. In January 2010, after the third time I gained all 80 pounds (and then some) back I decided to look into weight loss surgery again. I saw Dr. Bonnor and was thrilled to learn about the gastric sleeve. To me, it just made sense. I was then heartbroken to learn that my insurance only covered the band and bypass. Cut to late October 2010, I found out our policy changed and it was now approving the Gastric Sleeve. I started my three month approval proccess immediately and had surgery March 1st. Because I had "chickened out" on weight-loss surgery so many times before and I knew a change was necessary, I really didn't let myself think about the good, bad or ugly of this life change until AFTER surgery. I knew the me 10 months after surgery would tell me it was the best idea I'd ever had, but the current me who had a love affair with food would totally talk me out of it. Anyway, other than a dark day 5 days post surgery where I was having some serious buyer's remorse, I haven't regretted my decision. I find myself a little bit in awe right now as I live my life without contstantly thinking about food. Literally, in my former life, I was always thinking about what to cook, what to eat, etc. I love that I am now able to focus on so much more. It really feels the world has opened up for me. Okay, I'll stop here or I could very well write a book. Thanks again to all of you for sharing your experiences. It has helped me more than you can know especially on that dark day 5 days post-op when I realized there was no going back. Amanda

Thank you to all of you for the wonderful and warm welcome! Today is one month and I am 34 pounds slimmer. Life is GOOD! Oh and Pinkbabe? I so feel your pain with the steak! Yum-O! But, lately I keep thinking about just how much food I used to eat and it totally blows my mind. A month ago I could've knocked out a 16 oz. steak, potato, and salad while chugging Dr. Pepper and still have room for dessert. Just thinking about that much food now kind of makes me feel sick. Craziness!

Reading the different posts, I notice almost all have a goal weight. I am curious as to how you choose the number you did. I haven't been under 200 lbs. since I was 17 so that is what I most care about but BMI charts say I should be about 165 to be at a healthy weight (I'm 5'9"). However, when I was down to 235 a few years ago I was literally wearing a 12/14. I can't imagine what size I would be at 160- I don't want to be a scare crow. In a side note, my sister is 5'10", 135 and a size 2 (yes, I'd hate her if I didn't love her so much) but her bone structure has always seemed much smaller than mine . Not sure if that because she's so much thinner or if we're really built differently. And, at 135, she is "bony-looking" which isn't what I want I'm wondering if not having a set goal weight will negatively affect my weight loss and, if so, how in the heck do I go about picking the magic number? Would love some thoughts on the subject! Thanks! Amanda

I am laughing reading this since I just had the same thing happen to me! I blogged about the experience if you're interested. http://runningjustasfastaswecan.blogspot.com/2011/03/uhm-i-think-i-swallowed-my-gum.html Amanda P.S. I'm fine but agree with the advice to check with your Doctor.

Hi Serna- I spent two weeks on full liquids, then one week on soft proteins(eggs, hamburger, fish, greek yogurt, etc.) and now I can have soft foods (no bread, Pasta, rice, under cooked veggies, etc.) until the 3 month point. I can then start slowly adding foods back in as tolerated. I have had no food issues on this plan thus far. My NUT is ridiculously nice and even gave her email in case I had questions, I'm so sorry you got a she-devil! I am looking for a good brand of Protein powder as well, I haven't found anything I love yet. Good Luck! Amanda

Hi LUV- I am also 31 and have spent all of my life in a battle with weight while my entire family is thin. My sister who is 13 months younger than me is literally a model- 5'11" and 130. I really didn't want to tell them either. I also have a distant relative who had bypass and dealt with a lot of depression because she was constantly sick from dumping syndrome. I knew they would think I was going to deal with the same issues. I told them all about 2 months prior to surgery. Surprisingly, they had all quietly watched me struggle for years with my weight and they realized that I needed this to be the person I want to be. My mom and step-mom were the hardest sells. But, after I really explained the gastric sleeve process and how different it is from bypass they started to relax. The only draw back was that they both insisted on being there the morning of the operation and I could feel their anxiety. But, I also realized their deep love for me to stand by me even though they had fear. In the month since surgery they have all been extremely supportive. Mom even told me last week that she was thrilled to see me so happy and felt bad for every doubting my decision. Do what works best for you, but I thought I'd share a positive experience. Good luck!

Thank you all for the replies! At this point, I'm thinking I am going to focus on getting under 200. At 195, I'll have a date with the mirror and decide what the next goal will be. I will have a better idea of what normal is for me at that point. My doctor and I did talk about weight and he felt a loss of 100 pounds would indicate the surgery was a success. That would have put me at 198. I want to be a little further from the 200 mark for my own peace of mind. Thanks again! Amanda

Oh girl, I was in your shoes just about 6 weeks ago. I was frantic at the thought of a liquid diet and I ate every favorite food I could think of in the weeks leading up to surgery. My husband couldn't figure out what the heck was wrong with me. In the midst of one conversation, I finally blurted out that I felt like I was murdering my very best friend! You know the one who ALWAYS showed up to console me and made me feel better (at least in the short term). Some people are addicted to cigarettes, alcohol, etc. My addiction was Dr. Pepper. It's like crack for me. My mood could be gauged by the size of the Dr. Pepper I was drinking. Knowing that this surgery meant never drinking a sugary, carbonated beverage again really played with my head. But, I sit here now four weeks out and I can honestly say I haven't really struggled with not having soda. I don't know what the future holds but I am feeling positive. I think everyone has to go through this process for themself to be a believer, but once you get to the otherside you will be okay.

I started out keeping my surgery on a need-to-know basis but I work in a high school and the staff is similar in their gossip skills to the teenagers we teach. I was okay with this. I kind of expected it. And, I was going to be honest when the weight started dropping anyway- I will not pull a Star Jones! 95% of the comments and conversations regarding my surgery are okay but there's always one. A woman at work who is OBSESSED with weight loss and dieting was asking about my progress. I actually didn't tell her about the surgery (and wouldn't have) but, like all juicy tidbits, she found out. I told her the amount of weight I'd lost when she asked and her response? "Well, you're getting closer to beautiful everyday!" Really? I didn't realize beauty was dependent on size. It totally irked me. But, I had to reach for my bucket of compassion and realize how sad her life is that she thinks the perfect size equals beauty (she is overweight). I appreciate having this board to commiserate with- if you haven't been through this then there is just no was to understand it!

Day 5 was and has been by far the worst day of recovery so far for me. I also went back to work after only a week. I remember my day 5 (also on a Sunday), I thought to myself: how in the heck am I going to work tomorrow when a shower feels like an olympic marathon?!? I went to work that Monday and took it really easy. Fortunately, for the most part, I can dictate how rigorous my work day is, so I pretty much did desk work. I did okay although I was really tired and a few people asked if I was alright because I was so pale. I did take a half-day that Wednesday to just sleep and recover. It helps alot if you have the capability to do something like that. For me, the biggest recovery hurdle was the extreme exhaustion. I have a 3 year old and my husband works the night shift, so that didn't help much. I just tried to nap ever chance I got and stayed on top of Protein and Water intake. I really started to feel like my old self at the two week mark which could have been because I was able to eat more protein with the introduction of mushies. Long story short, be sure to journal about the lows of today so you can look back in a week or so and see how far you've come! Sending good vibes! Amanda