Amanda131

Crosswind- This may sound really random, but here goes. The voice in your posts/essays is amazing! I taught high school English for years and if I was still in the classroom (I crossed to the darkside- administration), I would seriously want to print snippets of your posts to show my teenagers what voice in writing is all about. I love it! As to your posting: I am so glad you are starting to feel more human. That feeling kind of snuck up on me. I looked up one day and though to myself that I felt back to normal or actually better than that since I was 30 pounds lighter by then. I love the idea of a pool to myself too- even if my swimming skills- outside of frolicking- are seriously lacking. My state-champion swimmer hubby swears he can teach me. In a few more pounds I may just take him up on it. Onward and upwards in your recovery! Amanda

Not only did I give it once last try- I did it three times! Three times I started the process for surgery to then convince myself that all was required was to just decide to eat less. I would decide, "Hey! I can do this without surgery!" Each time I lost between 60-80 pounds. And, each time I gained back the 60-80 pounds plus 10 more. Even this last run up to surgery I tried to chicken out. While discussing this with my doctor he brought up the quote about the definition of insanity (doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results). He was absolutely right. He pointed out that it was obvious I could lose the weight and that I should allow him to give me a tool to then keep it off. I listened to him. 7 weeks and 50 pounds later, I am so grateful I did. I know that if I had I chosen to try traditional weight loss one more time that I would be losing weight right now too but it wouldn't be 50 pounds and I would be a grumpy, hungry girl instead of the happy, carefree person I am now living in harmony with food for the first time in my life. Best of luck in your decision! Amanda

MelissaAnd- What a bummer! But, if it makes you feel any better, my gallbladder surgery is the only surgery I've ever had where I woke up feeling better than when I went under. I knew the gall bladder was making me feel bad but even I didn't realize how bad until I woke up and actually felt better then when they but me under. I'm hoping the same thing for you! Amanda

My doctor was more relaxed than I was comfortable with. His orders were no lifting anything heavier than 25lbs. for four weeks. I was encouraged to walk immediately and add weight training at 4 weeks. I am more cautious than that though. I've dealt with scar tissue from moving too fast before. So, I began walking for excercise at 3 weeks and adding weight training and other cardio activities at 5 weeks. I will not start core excercises until 8 weeks out. I'd rather be safe than sorry!

Hi Dadofpeace! Congrats on making it through the process leading to surgery. Believe it or not, at 7 weeks out I consider that one of the hardest parts. I have had no issues with foods and healed rather quickly. I am getting in approximately 70-90g of Protein a day while limiting carbs to less that 30g. Because of the lack of complications I have gotten into the gym pretty quickly and am actually putting on muscle with this protein level. All this being said, each person is different. Talk to your doctor/nutritionist and decide together what the appropriate levels are for you shoot for. I was up and walking rather quickly after surgery and never had any issues with gas. But, from what I read, the GasX Strips are a necessity in case you have difficulties. As for the protein drinks, I think the carbs are a bit high if you plan to follow a low carb diet which is what I noticed most of the people do who lose the weight quickly. You'll likely need 2-3 drinks per days and that would put your carb count at 42-63g on drinks alone. On a final note, remember the first week post-op will likely be the roughest. The biggest focus during that time should be getting in plenty of fluids to keep from becoming dehydrated. Best wishes as you start your journey! Amanda

I'm loving McD's non-fat, sugarfree iced vanilla latte. It is yum-O with approx 60 cals, 6g protein and 15g carbs for a medium.

Hi Hip- I was in the same boat as you. I actually ddn't lose a single pound week 2 or 3. But, I stayed the course and have dropped crazy weight in the weeks that followed (45 pounds in 6 weeks- 30 of the those pounds came in weeks 4,5 and 6). I guess the moral of the post is to stay focused on the end goal, eat and exercise right and things will eventually shake out the way they are supposed to. Granted, saying all that still doesn't make the frustration any easier to manage when that damn scale won't move! Good luck! Amanda

Hi ireland- I found that Day 5 was, by far, my worst day. Everyday after Day 5 has been an improvement. Overall, the first two weeks were a little rough- I went back to work on Day 6 though so that could've contributed to it taking two weeks. Once I was on mushy/soft foods after week 2, my energy returned and I began to feel I was healing more quickly. I started feeling better than "normal" at about week 3 and haven't looked back! "Normal" was overweight, achy and miserable- that went out the window as soon as I adjusted to my new eating lifestyle. You mentioned that you'd had many surgeries and thought you'd be more prepared. I felt the same way. It wasn't until post-op that I realized how much I had relied on the joys of food and eating to get me through those recoveries. It's a whole different ballgame trying to recover without meals of choice! Like the others mentioned, focus on getting plenty of liquids. G2 Gatorade was my go-to drink of choice. Here's to a speedy recovery! Amanda

Hey Can'tWeight- I've definitely had a day or two where I've caught myself slipping into the graze routine as well. For me, it often occurs when I am around family gatherings because my family is so food centric. I noticed myself doing this about the same place you are- 4 1/2 weeks. To combat, I put my food journal back into practice and have made myself write down every bite. In this last week our district notified 550 teachers that they were being non-renewed next year due to a budget crisis. In the midst of this stress, I wanted to revert to old ways and mindlessly munch so badly! But, I think the plan I put into place helped me stay on track. I think the victory here is that you recognized the behavior which will allow you to look for triggers or weakness areas so you can develop a plan to overcome. It's also important that you don't beat yourself up for today's eating. It was an opportunity for you to learn so that you can be successful for life. You're gonna get this tool figured out! We have to have a little trial and error to get it right at first. Best of luck getting back on track! Amanda

Hi TreeQueen- Great questions! I am only six weeks out but already down 45 pounds so I can speak a little to this. I think one of the things I am having the hardest time coming to terms with is that I lost my "invisibility cloak". I am a social person and have a very public job but it's something I liked being able to turn off when I didn't feel like talking to others. I am still surprised by how much MORE people talk to me in the last couple of weeks particulary in the stores or running day to day errands. I don't know if before I was so unhappy with my weight and always tired that I broadcast a "Don't talk to me vibe," or if people are just more apt to converse with thinner people. Regardless, I find that I can't float along in my own little world as much and that's a little weird to get used to. I have also noticed, like iegal, that I am taken much more seriously in my work place. I am a school administrator so I am already a commanding presence, but I've noticed that my colleagues, particularly other administators, really seem to listen more closely to me know than a few short weeks ago. Again, I'm not sure if it's the weight or the new found confidence with the weightloss that has caused these behaviour changes. I have noticed some small, and probably needed, personality shifts in the past few weeks including less of a need to please others and more of a need to take care of myself but it's still early out for me. I still have about 100 pounds to lose. I am wondering many of the same things you are! I look forward to reading the others' responses. Take care! Amanda

I recently posted a similar concern- I had no idea what to set as a goal weight since I haven't been under 200 pounds since I was 18 years old! Like you, I can't fathom being what is considered a "normal" weight. I finally decided that my first goal will be to get under 200 and then I will have a better idea of what my final goal should be. And, I will also have had a chance to see the success and begin to believe that a normal weight/BMI is within my reach now. Good luck with your goal setting! Amanda

I calculated my BMI with my new current weight today and I am in the thirties! It was 38 and I was almost at 45 on surgery day. That's a six point drop in six weeks which just ROCKS! Thanks for reading- I was so excited that I had to share. Amanda

Thanks all! @Purple Tulip: Other than feeling crummy the first few days and a mental rough day on day 5, I have felt fabulous. I think it's hard for me to say that a lot on the boards since I want to be sensitive to those that are struggling, but you raise a good point- that it appears it's difficult for all, if those of us who aren't struggling don't speak up.

I had surgery on Tuesday and was back at work the following Monday. I didn't have much paid time off available. I would say I felt 100% at about the three week post op point and would've come back then if money wasn't an issue. That being said it wasn't that difficult and is very doable but I would take into considerations whether you are getting down liquids and particularly protein okay, if you've had surgery before and how you recovery, and level of job difficulty(both mental and physical). Good luck with your decision! Amanda

They found the same things on my upper endoscopy- a hiatal hernia and stomach inflammation which they biopsied. It didn't change anything with my surgery except that he fixed the hernia. I am happy with no complications five weeks out. Good luck! Amanda

Three Things: 1. What a jack ass! 2. I want a resident Golden Retriever at work- that sounds awesome!!! 3. Congratulations for handling the hurt in a way not related to food. Go you! Amanda

Oh boy, there's some serious anger and hurt in all of those actions and reactions. May I suggest an appointment with a marriage counselor? If Hubs refuses to go, go alone. They can really make a difference and help you see the situation for each other's standpoint. My hubby and I hit a nasty, rough spot about two years ago and because we have a three year old we chose to try counseling before divorce. It literally saved us. The mean and seemingly heartless behavior of you husband reminds me so much of when my hubby and I were struggling. I was completely dumbfounded by how mean the love of my life had suddenly become. In counseling, when he finally opened up I learned that I had unknowingly hurt him and that led to his behaviors (which weren't okay but at least this knowledge set up a dialogue where he could ask forgiveness and prove himself once again.) It sounds like you have great insurance from what you paid for surgery and it would likely cover these therapy sessions. Good luck and Chin up! Amanda

I can imagine! Fortunately, you were able to get a quick appointment. I hope the diagnosis is quick and easy to correct! Post and let us know what happens! Amanda

Hi Lisa25- I second what all those before me posted about this being perfectly normal, trying to add a medication for the acid and that food will become more enjoyable in time. What really caught my attention was the animosity with Hubs over having the surgery. Just reading your post and knowing nothing else of the situation, I wondered if Hubs feels threatened by some aspect of your surgery. His behavior is textbook male behavior when threatened. Is he heavy and afraid you will leave him behind if you drop the weight? Did he feel surgery costs could harm you financially? Is he worried about you health in the future because he doesn't understand the surgery? These were the things I was wondering. I also wondered if he doesn't feel he's abadoned you in this process but rather feels you abandoned him by choosing to have the surgery over his objections. This life-change is difficult with a partner's support, I can't imagine without it. I'm thinking if you guys can communicate and come to peace that the surgery issues you're experiencing will seem much less significant. My heart goes out to you while you guys work this out. *HUGS* Amanda

I am looking forward to seeing other's responses. Great post idea! How far out from surgery are you?What percentage have you lost? I will be 6 weeks out on Tuesday. I have lost 42 pounds. I haven't really decided how much I want to lose but if I go with a healthy BMI weight (160) then it would be 29.2%. How many times a day are you eating? It depends. I am religious about getting in all 80 grams of Protein. I decide on the Proteins I will have and then eat on them until they are consumed. I may have a chicken breast at lunch and only eat a quarter of it but I will "graze" on it until it's gone. That very much goes against most people's advice and I ONLY do this with proteins, but it works for me. What is the amount of normal food (non liquid) you are now able to get down? Depends on the food. Anywhere from 1/2 cup to a full cup. What kind of supplements are you taking? Types and Brands I take Celebrate Chewable Vitamins and the sublingual B12, Calcet Calcium and Vitamin D Chews,and juice Plus+ fruit chews. How much protein are you supposed to be getting and how much are you actually getting in daily and what are your sources of protein (brands of shakes etc), I am supposed to be getting 60-80 gms and day and I make myself meet 80 each day. It's my focus. I am anti-Protein drinks and have no problems with meats so most protein comes from chicken, salmon, fish, hamburger and greek yogurt. How much Water are you actually getting down each day? This is my area of struggle. I am really trying but struggle for my 64 ounces. I don't always make it. What is your exercise routine, type of exercise, and how often. My job involves a lot of walking most days but other than that I haven't added a solid workout routine yet. It's in the works though. Will likely be 30 min cardio and weights 4 times per week. How is your energy level? It sucked the first 2 1/2 weeks but I have felt better than I have in a long time since then (about 3 weeks post op).

Congratulations!!! Could you have imagined a year ago that you'd be where you are today? Enjoy every moment of this accomplishement!

Before I start the post, be advised that I am fully aware that I could be worried over nothing. I need your help judging that! I have been ghosting this site forever and started fully participating after my surgery March 1st. What I am noticing is that I have almost none of the difficulties others describe. More than that, I can often eat much more than what others post without discomfort. For example, this morning I had two eggs soft scrambled and that was perfect. I read about so many people who can barely eat one at this point in the recovery. I haven't had problems with any of the foods I have tried either. I mean NONE. I must have a teflon sleeve. Anyway, this is all well and good but I am "borrowing trouble" (as my Granny says) and worried about the future. If I am this okay with all foods and seem able to eat more now at 5 weeks then what will things be like at one year or two? Side note: I haven't botherer to ask my surgeon about bougie size since I didn't learn about this until after surgery and it seems pointless now. I should also mention that I am down 42 pounds since the surgery less than six weeks ago. I am soooo not complaining and extremely thankful for the awesome weightloss and what I am eating since it seems to work right now but I am also worried about the future. I think the fat girl in me is convinced that if this can be screwed up I will figure it out. I want to make sure this weightloss is for keeps. I am tired of giving away all the fat clothes and then getting fat all over again. Frankly, I am not sure I can mentally handle that happening again. Thoughts on all this rambling?

Thank you all for the responses and encouragement. It's conversations like these that make this site so important to me. I can't talk to anyone I know about this because, frankly, they have no idea what I am talking about! I struggled first with the fear that I would be the one person in the world that this surgery wouldn't work for which the 42 lbs proved false, now I struggle with the fears that something will make me fail long term. I am trying to think long range about everything involved with this procedure. Thanks again for reponses!

I am sorry for the losses, but estatic that you were able to clear the hurdle of foods at these events. We do the same down here in Texas... you know, where everything is bigger especially portions. I've noticed, with our family, that we plan what we will do around what we will eat. NEVER the opposite. It makes it interesting being on this side. And,@ Mommy2Girls, I am impressed with your fortitude at Red Lobster. I am still terrified of that place because of those damn cheddar biscuits. Kryptonite in a basket!

I wonder if it has something to do with the dietary changes? No caffeine, no carbonation, low/no sugar and mostly healthy foods. I know that when I did a Daniel Fast with the church last year which required natural, all-organic and no sugar or processed foods for 21 days my skin was gorgeous then, too. Hmmm.... whatever it is, I'll take it!