I decided to get a lap band after one of my dear friends had it done and told me it was the best decision of his life! Six months later, he still felt that way even though going out to dinner with him was an unusual experience. Mexican for him consisted of two margaritas and spoonfuls of guacamole sans chips! He kept telling me how amazing it was and you don't even feel it. So after lots of deliberation, I found a wonderful surgeon and started the process... and what a process that was. My psych evaluation had some of the strangest questions ever and had I answered yes to any of them forget the lap band, send me straight to the nut house. But luckily I passed and my insurance cleared me for take-off. In my mind, I'd wake up to a krispy kream donut, eat one bite and be on my way home.
It was definitely a rude awakening and felt a little like the movie "Death Becomes Her" after Meryl Streep has taken the potion, and Isabella Rossellini says “and now a warning…” Suddenly, I feel like I’ve woken up after being caught in a dark alley and I’ve been beaten in the stomach and can only drink liquids for the next year of my life (ok, it’s only two weeks, but it’s like a year in foodie years). It had been explained to me that this is what it would be like, but my brain was obviously in denial.
I’m officially 7 days in and can’t believe I made it this far! For the first few days I was nervous about what I’d gotten myself into (who am I kidding, I still kinda feel that way), but am also excited about being reborn (to the food world anyway). I’m on the other side and it feels good, but scary. I feel like I’m going through this alone even though my husband has been amazing (but I still hate him when he’s eating in the other room). The pains are foreign to me, but are subsiding every day -- the weird tremors, the hiccups, itchy sutures, catching my breath and feeling like a water balloon half full.
I see other people’s blogs who have the surgery and return to their normal lives by Monday… these are super people. I am not a super person. And as much as I would like to return to my donut/pizza/candy eating ways there is a gravity of responsibility that comes with this gift. I realize that I can’t just eat guacamole by the spoonful. I need to be mindful of my relationship with food and re-evaluate it. And there’s the deep fried thought for Friday!