Bryn Dawson
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Everything posted by Bryn Dawson
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Still going strong on not smoking. My poor arms may never forgive me for all the patches though - I hope they don't scar.
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Good news? A Date! Bad News?Not when I thought...
Bryn Dawson replied to meggiep's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
That has got to be hard to deal with... almost worse than not having a date at all. I am really sorry that happened to you, but at least you DO have a set date now and you know you will be ready when that date comes. Congratulations on getting a date set! -
may potentially be canceled
Bryn Dawson replied to Chicadee's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Crossing my fingers too.... sending good energy your way! -
I'm still waiting for my surgery date to be scheduled but it probably won't be till July or maybe even August according to my surgeon. So I'm just plugging away at the preop diet and am really starting to have a hard time. The temptation to just say 'oh screw it' and have something 'bad' (too much carbs or too generally bad like a cheesesteak) is really getting to me. I fell off the wagon for a whole week last week - this week I have been fighting with myself to have the salad instead of the pasta, or the wrap instead of the sub, but I just feel deprived and yucky. Also, I am a big-portion eater, and I CANNOT get my portions down smaller or I turn into a raving psycho from hunger. It is literally ALL I can think about. I am beginning to realize that a lot of my eating must have been emotional to try and stave off that 'oh screw it' feeling. I guess I'm just looking for a little support. I'm tired of obsessing about every little thing that I eat and I know that it isn't going to change when I have the surgery. I don't so much want comfort food as I do just to eat. Normally. Like a regular person. Sorry to be so negative. Any pointers are welcome. I've tried to pull myself up by my bootstraps this week and really get back on the wagon, but it is very hard. -Bryn
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Having a hard time and worried
Bryn Dawson replied to Bryn Dawson's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Thank you all for your support and great suggestions. I DO have a motivational outfit - it's a dress I had when I was younger that actually fit me and looked good on me and I think I will be able to get back into it when I get closer to my goal... I really want to be able to wear that dress again, even if it's only for one day (because it's so old) and then say goodbye to it for good and on to SMALLER and better things LOL. You all are really helping me with your hugs and positive words. I really, really appreciate it. Yes it is hard not to have a fixed goal - the 6 month pre-op diet basically says 'have this many calories, less than this many grams of fat, try to keep your carbs low but no magic number, and keep losing'. I don't have my own scale (am going to buy one this weekend) so I only weigh in at the doc's - last month I only lost 2 lbs since the month before. It is hard to keep eating the way they want me to when it feels like it goes on forever with no end in sight and very little reward or positive acknowledgement coming in. I guess I'm like a dog that way - sometimes I want someone to pat me on the head and tell me I did good! I'm feeling better this morning... struggling with a carb craving. I keep telling myself - salad for lunch, salad for lunch! Also having recently quit smoking is something of a motivator for me but it makes me want to eat everything in sight. I am keeping only 'safe' things in sight! Thanks again everyone... have yourselves some lovely weekends! -
Started Pre-op diet today. Carbs are Evil!!!
Bryn Dawson replied to fatBgone's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Good for you that you have made it through the 3 day cycle. I find myself continually having to re-break the carb addiction as I go through a long pre-op period and I know how truly hard it is. Congratulations! Tell those carbs where they can go! -
Day 9 of not smoking. My arm-dots itch from the patches. That is more annoying than the occasional craving. I consider this a good thing.
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Interesting fact: equalizing the pressure in your ears with a CPAP mask on matches the (higher) pressure INSIDE the mask. Weird feeling.
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Well, so far so good. Still not smoking. Am using the patches so I have big red dots on my arms, but that's ok. One day at a time.
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In response to Aunt Dawn and anybody else who's curious - doing good so far. The husbeast has cigs and is smoking but I am not tempted.
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Day whatever. 4 I think. Getting easier by the minute to not have a cigarette. This is probably the last daily update.
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Day 3. Getting easier. Starting to be able to taste again also. Of course, this means I notice how yucky a lot of my diet food is... oh well
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Day 2 on the patch. No cravings, but habitual 'I should smoke now' reminders are still happening. Thanks for the support y'all.
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Day one of no smoking. I want a smoke, but I'm not dying for one, thanks to the patch. Go me.
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Got my CPAP yesterday. This feeling I am feeling this morning? I think it is called 'being awake'. Heh.
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Getting called in to work at 7am mid week? This is why I love the job right? Oy. Gonna be a long day.
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Dunno what's worse - stuck at work & wanting to go home, or stuck at home & stressing about getting in trouble cause I can't get to work.
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However - BOY was that a dumb idea. And now I have to dig out tomorrow. It's times like this when I hate working at an answering service.
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today I'm having one of those days where I question everything - I don't even have a surgery date set yet, it's that far in the future. I'm just questioning my decisions because this diet is getting really hard to stick to - I'm consistently either OVER or under my calories, and while I'm under the carbs, my Protein is too high (is that even POSSIBLE?!) and my fats and sodium are too high also (sodium especially). It just makes me wonder, if I can't make it through THIS part how am I ever going to actually make it through having the sleeve done or into life beyond it? I want salt. I am DYING for something crunchy and salty and there isn't anything I can have that fits that category... definitely not today anyway, where I'm over my calories for the day by 70. Stupid whatifs. Stupid arghs. Does anybody have any similar experience fighting this? What helped you get through it?
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Sleep study done! I have sleep apnea. Yay. On the upside, the CPAP machine actually helps. It's WEIRD. I feel GREAT after 3 hrs sleep!
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Operation New Leaf
Bryn Dawson replied to Bryn Dawson's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
Well, I went and got my sleep study done, as well as my preliminary bloodwork and EKG. Turns out I do, in fact, have sleep apnea. Oh joy, yet another expense on the insurance. I don't know how well I'll do with the cpap, but I can tell you that I feel pretty good after the 3 hours sleep with it on in the study center. It's a weird feeling to have it on, the way it sort of... inflates your throat kinda. Hard to describe. I feel even better after washing all the goop out of my hair from the electrodes. Bleh! Now off to catch a few more Zs before the day begins! -
Apropos: The radio playing Cheap Trick's 'Dream Police' on the night I have a sleep study at the hospital. Oy, universe. Just oy.
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Congratulations, Christa! What a wonderful feeling that must be! I look forward to getting there myself!