cludgie

Well date night was lovely, wined dined, wooed and taken to the casino, glad I could rely upon my any eventuality LBD!!

Wow everyone is looking sooo good, and totally putting me to shame! I have a date night with my OH Friday whilst our 3yo and 7yo are away, I've bought a gorgeous backless LBD fr the occasion, and have even picked up stockings an suspenders to go beneath it Last year I would never dare to step out in a skirt above my knees, let alone team it with naughty undies. Depending on the success of the outfit I might even add a picture (outerwear not underwear of course!).

Wow, well what a weird week it has been. Basically after a lot of soul searching I decided to let people know about my surgery this week, largely because people who didn't know were starting to use me as some sort of example to beat themselves and other people with, and I always vowed that I would not let my surgery hurt other people. So ironically all positive responses so far from the people who are just finding out, but ASTONISHED by hurtful comments made this week by one of my very best friends, and my own DH!! Firstly, the reason I hadn't spoken to our extended family about my surgery was because my in-laws can be very jusdgemental, and my DH didn't want me to have to deal with their opinions (a wise choice in my opinion, although I'd have happily taken the risk), as its been 7 months of smoke and mirrors we had a big heart to heart and he agreed to speak to hisn parents about it. We had a big conversation about how they might react, and would they say I've cheated etc etc etc, and he was brilliantly supportive and re-assuring. So he makes the call to tell them, and obviously just can't find the right words to explain fully, so I find him saying "Oh yeah Mum, make no bones about it, she cheated!" - What a complete dim whit!!!! So I am not best impressed by that, but its not exactly killing me either. Then this afternoon I go and see a friend for coffee, my friend has known a while, and was very supportive to begin with, but then got really upset (and told me so) when I started updating my weight loss achievements on facebook etc, so in fairness to her I have not discussed weight loss, diet etc etc etc with her, or publicly where she might see it since because I am not in the business of upsetting my friends. We are sat having coffee when she turns to me out of the blue and says "I've figured something out about your surgery, if it is working you must have really eaten like a pig before! I hardly eat anything! So I might be bigger than you, but at least I've never eaten like a pig!!!" My friend is going through horribly tough times at the moment, so I didn't begin to get into a slanging match with her over it, but seriously WTF???? Well I am still stinging from that, and just feel like the people I felt able to rely on clearly have no idea at all!

Ok, so I am almost 7 months out, and 4 stone down, and love my sleeve, I am happy with my decision to get surgery, and feel that I no longer care what people think. I'd not told anyone about my vsg, largely because it is personal, and also because I didnt need opinions swaying my journey. I'm in a position where more and more often people are making comparisons "oh why dont you take a leaf out of Claire's book?" etc, and I refuse for other people to be made to feel bad by my weight loss. So I think its time to come out, but I am not sure how to do it. I've not lied to people, but equally I've not told the whole story either. For instance I have a group of friends on Fb who are all dieting together, and I feel a bit like I have betrayed them (although you all know how strict our diets still have to be. Thought and suggestions warmly welcomed! Ta cx

For me I wanted my wls to be something which happened in my life but did not rule it. I felt with the band it needed so much after care, and maintenance that I would never be able to just get on loving the rest of my life. When I had my surgery I traveled with 2 ladies getting the band, and after I explained why I wanted the sleeve not the band, both of them said they wished they'd looked into it all more, and gone for the sleeve too. Good luck with your choice.

Plain and simple one for me - hold my head high without the constant psychological panic of "ARGH! I am the fattest person here!" I know it should never have mattered, but I guess for lots of us it did!

Ok, so my wonderful OH is very laid back and supportive, but last night even he snapped! Basically, he has been having a hard time with friends of his noticing my weight loss, and he feels that every time someone comments, what they are actually implying is "wow wasn't your wife fat!". And to top that off I got all excited because I got deal on some power acai pills. He went mad, and basically said I dont know where to stop, and he thinks I'll end up killing myself! I personally think that there is nothing wrong in taking something natural to help speed the process, but I thought I'd throw this open. What do you guys think?

sn...........................................sw........................cw................................goal......................lbs to goal cludgie...............................181...........................176..............................163........................13 slow n steady!

I am delighted you have got to such a great point, well done, and most importantly, ENJOY IT!!!

Wow, coops you are looking amazing, well done! I thought I'd post my 6 month pictures, more of a before and during rather than a before and after - I have 23lb to goal in the thinner pic, and I am just heading to hospital on op day in the heavier one.

SN..............Starting Wt........Current.......Goal.......Lbs to Goal Cludgie........181..................177..........163..............14 Long shot, as I missed the last 2 challenges by a couple of pounds each, but this goal gets me into the "normal" healthy weight range for my height so I'm gioing for it! Good luck everyone

Ha ha, just re-read my last post, I've been AWOL a couple of weeks and safe to say NONE of that happened. I've been clawing my way back to sanity slowly, and having gained 3.5lb, taking me back up to 182, I am now 177 so undid the damage plus a bit woop! So I am going to just keep trying this week (it seems that when I make big promises I fail to keep them so I'll make this one a little more low key!) Have a good week folks!

Well I am having a crappy day, anxiety and depression have snuck up on me pretty badly, and even the scale shifting 1lb didnt raise a smile So after a few hours hiding under the duvet I decided to take the kids to the park, so they can at least let off some steam. I'm pushing my daughter on the swing, when I find myself sizing it up and thinking, I can probably fit on that!! So what the heck, on I climb, and for the first time in about 25 years I am on a swing, and its not collapsing, or even pinching me at the sides! Before I know whats happening I am flying, best feeling, best NSV and best way to fend off the blues!

Sw 235, Cw 179, goal 176, lbs to goal 3! Almost certainly not making this goal, but damn close! So happy, I am now officially just 1 stone overweight, so I've become one of those people I have envied for so long, the ones who sigh and say "well I could do with losing a few pounds!" wooooo!

I met up with friends yesterday who commented on my weight loss, and one of them said "so you must be what, a size 10 now then?" Well I am a million miles from that small, but by God I love her for asking anyway!!! ;0)

Ha ha, thats brilliant, what a great NSV!!! I wore a mini dress to work last week, and felt really self conscious all day, but when I went out for a walk around the block at lunch a guy literally just stopped dead in front of me looking at my legs, I had to walk around him to get past!!! It made me smile the rest of the day!

Thats brilliant, welcome aboard!!!

Well, super stressed out week, MASSIVE career dilemma, which has essentially messed with my head a lot coupled with erratic patterns at work = really hit and miss week food wise! I've not counted things rigourously, but have limited carbs and pushed Protein as usual, so other than probably eating far too little I don;t think I have strayed too far from where I should be. Anyways despite all of the above and TOTM I have managed to get back down to 181, so I am in the 12s and intend to stay here this time!!! (well, until I can claw my way into the 11s!!) My goal for this week is a 2lb loss by Friday, the 1st is my 12 year anniversary with my DH, and we have tickets for a concert followed by a night (without the kids) in a luxury London hotel which he has booked as a surprise for me, and I obviously want to feel fabulous that night! So I am on it, starting zumba and fitness yoga this week, and think that I'm deserving of some new nightwear and a new pair of jeans, so I will be burning a lot of calories hitting town later too Have a good week all! xx

Hey bookleen, your positivity is great, keep up the great work! Thanks for checking in on my thread too, I've had a slip, but actually feel better for a pretty messed up weekend! We can totally do this!

Hiya, thanks for asking. Well I can say I TOTALLY fell off the wagon this weekend! Friday I went out for my best friend's leaving party, and my attempt at not drinking was met with abject horror by said friend, so in typically me style I decided that it would be fine as long as i substituted food calories for alcohol calories! So off I trot with an empty stomach, 5 glasses of wine, 1 cocktail, 2 parma violet flavour vodkas, and two bottles of WKD, and my good intentions lie in ruins! However Saturday morning I tentatively crawl onto the scales to find I am down to 181!!!!!! I sat on the bathroom floor weeping with joy, the last time I was 12 stone something was the weekend i moved in with my husband, and that was 12 years ago, and at that time I'd got a major eating disorder, and was cycling and swimming for hours a day just to get that low. And hey presto! I'm suddenly there again, but this time i am not killing myself to be there! :D Yesterday we had house guests so had the ritual of chinese take away food, so i had duck (thinking Protein but no batter or anything carby = perfect option) only for it to make me really sick! Never one to know how to quit whilst I am ahead I then stupidly decided that having failed to stomach food I could afford another night of drinking, so a pint of ginger cider, and two pints of WKD later my day is done! Yes, I know how much of a total cock-up this weekend has been and just to remind me how stupid I've been I weighed back up at 183 this morning, so back out of the 12's! But I am feeling good! Total disaster? Yes! Insummountable problem? No! I messed up, I am moving on, no big deal (usually I'd be freaking out right now), although breifly, I saw the 12's there for a while which means I can get back there and stay there by not wobbling off the waggon! I can do this! I have no more big social occasions planned until my anniversary weekend on 1st july, and after that nothing until mid-end of August, so a long stretch of no distractions, and no excuses ahead! Plus my one social feature of the week is ending this week, so I get my wednesday nights off to use more wisely, starting 29th I'm joining Zumba class followed by Fitness yoga class - can't wait! Back on it, but the flicker of 181 was enough to really help me believe that this can work again!! Wow, long post, sorry! Off to set up wii family trainer now and to get our arses moving!

Yes you can do it, and welcome aboard! I think knowing our downfalls can only be a good thing in helping avoid them! Good luck.

Thanks for the replies folks, I do feel better knowing that it is not only me. I do hasten to clarify though that I would never, EVER say anything offensive aloud, it just shocks me the things my mind gets up to sometimes!

Ok so, I would like to start by saying I am actually a very nice person, and would never EVER intentionally hurt anyone, however since starting to lose weight my thinking patterns have changed, and I've found that deep down there is a rather smug bit@h lurking! I have spent my entire life looking around every room I entered, convinced I was the fattest, ugliest person there, and always seeing just beautiful people looking back, making me feel like crap! So 51lb down I've started to find myself looking around me, and critiquing everyone, although part of me is glad that I'm less worried about my appearance compared to other peoples, I have truly shocked myself by randomly scrutininsing poor innocent strangers, and their bodies, and I really don't recognise this bit@hy little voice lurking inside, nor do I really like her! Has anyone else found themselves thinking like this as their confidence has grown?

Cludgie...........235.........181........176........5 3lb loss so far this week, I cannot remember the last time that happened!

Right end of day reached, here we go... Weight 184 Calories today :425 Carbs today: 15.8g Protein today: 47g Liquids: Approx 3 pints. Excercise: 10 mins brisk wlaking (-53 Cals) 30mins/17k hard cycling (-436 Cals) Basal metabolic rate = 1617 cals Total for the day = Minus 1681 calories Please, please please God grant me a good loss in the morning!:pray2: :amen: