M2G

This is a very interesting topic, and as someone pointed out there are two parts, emotional connection and physcial connection. I have to say my husband has always been physically attracted to me. I married him when I was fairly heavy, and he has seen me lose and gain more weight than I can list here. -80lbs being the most significant amount of weight I've ever lost. And he has always been super suportive of any diet I have ever been on BUT had never scolded me when I wanted to eat ice cream. We truly did marry for better or worse and I have never felt like he has any requirements on my size, build, weight, etc. I was the one to get the whole WLS ball rolling, and asked him to do it too. He said no. But then as I marched through all the requirements that our health ins. required, he had a change of heart. I am now 9 months post-op and he is 4. We both easily look 10 years younger and things are great because we are on the same page as far as eating goes. He was off BP meds 10 days post-op and I cried happy tears! We are both regaining our health and the team approach is working for us. The one thing that my hubby could not/would not do before surgery was exercise. I had found a way 7 years ago to make exercise a part of my daily life and he couldn't do it. Now he exercises regularly (set up a home gym of sorts in our basement) and I am so happy that he has found a way to get exercise in his life. We are no longer killing ourselves one bite at a time and we are lucky to be on such a monumentally changing journey together!

I came back to read this again and decided if I feel this way then the answer to the "fat" joke question is that it is NEVER okay to put someone down because of their weight.

Congratulations on your loss and anniversary! I'm almost 9 months out and also struggling with the same issues. I would like to be further in my weight loss efforts (don't we all?) but seem to somehow have gotten stuck on the slow loser train (not complaining, hey I'm losing!) but of course would like to hit -100lbs by my anniversary which really doesn't seem do-able at this slow rate. I also wonder how do I keep remembering WHERE I came from. The whole formerly fat/still fat, when do I feel skinny stuff is so crazy. I guess it's all relative. On days when I do feel fat I have to remind myself how I felt 75lbs ago, but yet there is still work to be done. Anyway I just wanted to say that I'm struggling with many of the same issues you are! As for the romance part I'm married and my hubby is also sleeved (he is 4 months post-op) so I don't have to worry about that, but I guess my advice would be to follow your instincts. I don't think you need to spill your guts (reveal surgery) the second that you meet someone new, but guage things as you progress and see what feels comfortable. I imagine the worst case senario would be to meet someone (and not tell them about surgery, etc.) and hear them speak disparagingly about someone due to their obesity. Good luck with that Globetrotter, I wish I had an easy answer for you! Congrats again!

WOW you don't even look like the same person! Congrats on your loss and your anniversary!

I ordered Click and to be honest, I'm just not a big fan. I wasn't happy with the amount of carbs but then again, my favorite Protein powder is Jay Robb and it has about 1 gram of carbs so I was a bit shocked at the Click amount. Everything is subjective and you probably will just have to try it for yourself to see if you like it or not. I switched to decaf coffee before surgery ...even though the link between uclers and caffeine is unproven, I don't want to chance getting an ulcer in my new tiny tum. But the Click protein powder DOES have caffeine so buyer beware. I didn't do coffee at ALL for about 4 weeks post-op. I usually have about 10oz of decaf every day now.

You are looking great!!! Fantastic accomplishment!

WOO HOO! Looking awesome!

Wow, amazing the difference in one year. Truly. You look great, and I'm so happy to hear the health report update, being off those meds is just wonderful! Your words really hit home with me, as I am struggling so much as to who and when to tell about my surgery. I have been very private about my journey to friends in real life (I have my own blog so the whole world can read it but that is just me not wanting to bore people with talking about my WLS, they can read or not, etc.) but now since I have lost a good chunk of weight, I'm torn between telling people I've had surgery or just smiling and nodding and saying thanks when they say I look great. So thanks for sharing that you are struggling with the same thing. I am feeling more comfortable each day with being honest about how this tool has enabled me to reach my weight loss goals (even though I'm not AT goal, yet!)

Well, I do feel like I'm stalled MORE often than I'm losing. Starting at 4 months post-op I quit the couple-pound-a-week losses, and started stalling out quite a bit. I'm not going to lie, it was harsh. I felt like "wow, I just had MAJOR life-changing surgery to lose weight and my net loss for the month of Feb. was 2lbs...WTF I follow all of my surgeon's rules, but I'm not gettin the payoff (i.e the drop on the scale)???" and then I would log on here and see people putting up these HUGE numbers in a super-short amount of time. And it can sort of mess with your mind, if you let it. Now that I'm close to 9 months post-op I have some more perspective and I do constantly remind myself that this is MY journey. Not someone elses. So my favorite way to break up a pity party is to remember the times that I was stuck. And I remember feeling like "Is this it? Is this ALL that I'm going to lose EVER?" and then I will count the pounds that I have lost since my last stall and see how far I've come. It never fails to make me feel better. I remember being stuck at 229 for what felt like forever and now I'm stuck at 200. (Been waiting on Onderland for a long fricken time, but all good things come to those who wait, lol) Also I like to remind myself of the bonus (upside) of being a slow loser...my clothes fit longer, my skin has more time to shrink (okay that could just be wishful thinking) and I've learned more about myself and what I can do to keep the losses coming. So it's all good. Paul, have your pity party and then keep on movin' down that scale. You have done a tremendous job so far...you've lost an entire person! WOW! Don't forget to Celebrate along the way!

Tiffykins has had some great input on this, I think she added in more carbs, 100% fruit juice, peanut butter, avacados (think higher denser calories like nutes, etc.) I have been more of a slow loser so I don't anticipate having problems with continuing to lose, I'm pretty sure it will be easy for me to stop losing.

That is wonderful news! I am so happy for you! This is something of a harsh reality, but right now your pre- and post-op days are going to need to be incredibly selfish, it is time to put yourself first and concentrate on doing what you need to do in order to have a wonderful surgery and healing time. You just don't have room to deal with your mother and her lack of concern for your wellbeing right now, so let this go, rejoice that your hubby is coming home and focus on yourself. Later when you are healed and recovered maybe you can revisit this and sit down and explain to her how you felt. Good luck with your upcoming surgery!!!

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have a very good friend who always says this quote and I just love it because it can be applied to so many things. "You get your gifts when you are supposed to" and I hope that someday you will be blessed with a healthy pregnancy and baby.

Wow, what an amazing place to be in...what a WONDERFUL amazing place to be! And to be done with the "diet" mentality is so great. There is a whole lot of this journey that involves listening to our 'inner' voice and trusting ourselves. It is a huge leap of faith because even having surgery does NOT guarantee that we will lose our weight OR keep it off. There is no absolutes when it comes to this. We are very much in the drivers seat, and yes we are blessed to have a forever tool (I love that, FOREVER TOOL) because our stomachs are permanently smaller, but the decisions every bite, every day are what affect our outcome. And we also need to listen to that inner voice when it comes to our body image, BMI charts be damned. You know how you feel on a daily basis, the BMI chart is a "guideline" and is not a one size fits all deal. I say all of this because I know you have used your tool wisely to get where you are and I know you will continue to do so in maintenance! Congratulations, this is indeed the right place to post about this part of your journey. :bounce:

Sarah...you look amazing!!! I am SO happy for you! You have rocked your sleeve and I know you will continue to do so. Congratulations lady...you look fantastic!

That is scary! I'm also glad you were able to get some medical attention AND find a local surgeon who is willing to work with you. I hope you are feeling better now. I'm not a band to sleever, but I started down the road to being banded (yikes!) and credit this board with helping me decide that the sleeve was superior to the band. I keep wondering with all the problems that the band creates, why it is not marketed as TEMPORARY! Because I just don't see it being a long-term solution to obesity. Even my surgeon's nurse had a band and sang it's praises for 5 years. Well, guess what? I just found out that she went and had the RNY done. CRAZY. Of course I don't know all the details (erosion, slippage, etc.?)and I wish her well, but I can think back to all the times that I've heard her just go on and on about how great the band is and now she has had another WLS. That is a crazy story for sure!

Yep I said goodbye to Plus Size clothing a few months ago and just LOVE not ever having to step back into Woman's World, Lane Bryant, Dress Barn PLUS, CJBanks or any other PLUS size clothing store ever again! It feels amazing!!! Now if I could only figure out how to get off of all the PLUS SIZE mailing lists, I would be a happy woman!

WOW! What an amazing difference!!! Congrats on your losses and getting out of the big and tall section (lol, aka fat clothing) is awesome! You are right about the difference the clothing makes, I have some basic shorts/capris that actually fit but the tops are all a bit too big, and people keep saying, when are you going to wear some shirts that FIT?! I will probably wait until fall to do much more shopping, but it does make a difference when we ditch the baggy, loose stuff.

CHECK OUT THAT BELT!!! Wahooo! I'm still not comfortable wearing a belt at size 14, lol, so I that it's cool that you have one on...NSV for SURE! :clap2: You look amazing, and I'm so happy for your success, thanks for sharing with us!

Well, my body seems to want to slip into maintenance mode and somehow hasn't gotten the message that I'm not DONE YET! lol. I am continuing the good fight, even though I didn't make my 4th of July goal, so I will be ultra conservative this time and see what happens. SN..............Starting Wt........Current.......Goal.......Lbs to Goal M2G...............204..................204...............194.............10

Once again Irene, powerful words!!! You said it so well. I hope this friend truly means it when she says losing the friendship is not worth her opinions of what you are doing in your life. This is a time for YOU to put YOURSELF first, and everything else will have to get figured out later. Best of luck to you!

Just wanted to add... I love what Mini-Me said about this doesn't have to be a final decision...you could try maintenance and then see how it feels to not always be trying to LOSE more and see how it feels. Once you aren't feeling like you have to be always chasing that number, you may find that your focus changes and you are indeed happy where you are. If a few months go by and you aren't feeling that self-love then maybe you can climb back on the losing wagon and see where you land. The one thing I know is true and that I love about the fact that we had surgery is that we ALWAYS get to keep our tool. We never lose our tool, and it is up to us how and when we want to use it. I LOVE THAT!

Sending you a PM right now. HUGS!

Well, I waffled back and forth but in the end decided to keep the gag order in place. His friends all walked in and started saying OMG, look how skinny you are (to him), etc. and asking HOW he did it, etc. He played according to MY rules (feeling badly about this all now) and said, high Protein, low-carb, lots of exercise and Water. Which is all true. But I do feel bad that I did not allow him to mention his surgery. Then about halfway through the evening, a couple of them start saying (to me) wow, you are looking smaller too, your butt is tiny and your face is so skinny, you guys must be doing this together, etc. And I said yes, we were all about portion control and exercise (again ALL true!) So what's done is done. I really did NOT want to sit around ALL evening and talk about our surgeries. I KNOW that would have happened if we had mentioned it. Next time we are all together (mid-Aug.) if he still feels like sharing then I won't stand in his way. I tossed and turned all night feeling guilty about the gag order. :confused_smile:

So my husband and I are both sleeved. I'm 8 months post-op and he is almost 4. I have chosen to only tell a very limited few people about my surgery, as I feel that it is my private business medically what I do with my body. I wouldn't expect people who have had breast/prostrate/lung/etc. cancer to walk around advertising all of their medical information and I feel like my VSG is the same. The problem is that obesity is hard to hide and people tend to question you when you are visibily losing weight. My husband feels a bit differently, he has no problem telling someone he had surgery. He has already opened his big mouth to two male friends that I am good friends with their wives. So even though he was talking about HIMSELF having surgery, I'm sure they are looking at me and putting the puzzle together. I didn't want to share with these women about MY surgery. But he sort of blew it. And I called him on it and was frustrated. Now this Fri. we are having a group of friends over for dinner and they are mostly his close friends and their wives. So we sat and had the conversation about what to tell. He was like "what am I allowed to say" and I feel bad putting a gag order on him just because I feel it is private. The funny thing is HE is usually super-private about everything so I'm baffled at why he wants to share his personal medical info. Ugh. What do you think? Do I just let him babble on about what he feels like he wants to share and just not say anything about myself? I'm torn on this one and just looking for opinions. Thanks!

You will make a beautiful bride, your smile says it all!!! And thank goodness they took the other dress back, you are a lucky lady!