Sarah S

Hello everyone. On Wednesday, April 13th, I will be four weeks or one month post-op. I am a little shocked that as of today I have only lost 20 lbs. I hear about people losing thirty or fourty the first month and I can't believe that I'm stuck at 20. This makes me very sad, depressed, and dissapointed. I have 110 to lose (now 90) and hope that this is not a very slow process. A few things may be hindering my weight loss: now that I'm on mushy Protein type foods, I am only just now getting protein into my diet. I drink a lot throughout the day but it probably is not 64oz. I also decided during these four weeks to take myself off of my antidepressant that I've been on for years. I know it caused a lot of weight gain and kept me from losing weight. I decided that since I went to the utmost extreme of having the majority of my stomach removed, there is no way I'm going to let a stupid little pill keep me from losing weight. I can manage depression other ways. My depression will be terrible until I figure out a way to cope with it, but the weight issue takes precedence right now. I'm thinking that the withdrawal from the medicine may also be messing with my weight. Until my body is used to functioning without the antidepressant, it may be messing up the weight loss. What does everyone think about only losing 20 lbs? Maybe I'll lose a few more by Wednesday.

I'm not sure if anyone will read this, but I don't really care- I need a place to write down and journal my everyday experiences as a new, and ultimately permanent, VSG patient. Day 9 is better. I have felt like myself since about day 5. I've been going to work since Monday, 4 days after surgery. I think this was a smart idea because it keeps me busy and I don't have time to sit around and think about my decision. I have found myself questioning the significance of having this surgery. It is PERMANENT and that is terrifying to me. I can't go back to my old lifestyle. I think and dream about all of my favorite foods that I ultimately cannot fully enjoy anymore. I told my friend the other day that I enjoy eating food and that I enjoy eating A LOT of food. It makes me happy. Unfortunately, I don't have this safety net anymore. I decided somewhere in my mind that being skinny and healthy was more important than enjoying large amounts of food. I am currently having this debate in my head, even though my decision is permanent and I can never go back to eating large quantities ever again. I'm excited about the prospect of eating real food again in a few weeks. I already know the first thing I'm going to have and drool just thinking about it. I feel silly, walking around with only a piece of my stomach left. Like I made some kind of material, superficial decision and abused my body for ridiculous reasons. Could I have lost all the weight on my own? Probably. Would the process have been long, defeating, excruciating, and depressing? Probably. Would I have gained the weight back? Yes, probably, especially since I like food. And now I'm sad because I want to eat something, but can't. At least I can express myself on here. So far I'm not happy with my decision. I pray for my sanity that these feelings change.

Thank you everyone for the comments. They put my situation into perspective. Yes, 20lbs is pretty awesome. I hope to lose 2 lbs a week, steadily but surely. I'm so glad I found this forum! Yippe!

I am 24 and had mine on 3/16. I'm worried about the excess skin. Once I start exercising again I don't expect it to be a huge problem. I anticipate muscle mass to develop, which will cause a HEALTHY form of weight gain. I hope exercising will mediate the excess skin problem.

Hello Everyone, Underneath all four of my incisions are bumps. Under my upper-most incision there is one "large" bump (It isn't very big, but it's the biggest of the four). Are these bumps the internal stitches, the ones in my abdominal muscle? It bothers me not knowing what they are. I hope they're the internal stitches and will dissolve soon! I am 3 weeks post-op tomorrow. Any idea when these internal stitches should dissolve? Thanks!

In addition to being obese I suffer from very, very severe depression. It's embarassing and shameful. I'm having a few very difficult days where nothing seems to be working out for me. I can't eat food without feeling sick and I get that feeling as if the food is stuck in my chest and won't move. I got that feeling for the first time yesterday morning after eating a bit of an egg and it was terrifying. I was at a wedding and chose to eat some soft food, even though I'm not finished with the liquid diet yet, and that was a miserable mistake. I just felt sick and ill. Being depressed on top of struggling with this surgery is miserable. There is nothing positive about life right now. I am very upset and currently regret my decision to have this surgery. I am not losing weight like I should be. I don't even make an effort to get in protein because any kind of food, liquid, etc. makes me ill. I didn't have this problem a week ago and now it's just making me miserable. I am sure that I'm dehydrated and lacking in Vitamin B12, which can't be helping my situation. I need to get in the protein without wanting to vomit (which I'm scared to death of, BTW... vomiting. I'm scared I will tear a hole in my stomach or something, or there will be blood in the bile, etc.). I suppose I'm very sad because of my depression and the surgery complications just aren't helping anything. I need something about my health to go right.

This is getting easier every day, but I still can't decide if that is a good thing. Sitting with my coworker at In-n-Out eating yogurt while he eats a gorgeous double double just kills me. I look forward to the "mushies" stage, which is next. I've been eating yogurt, apple sauce, and baby food but plan on introducing more soup and mashed potatoes in a day or so. I really want something solid in my stomach. But I know that my stitches/sutures are healing and I am definitely not willing to compromise in that regard. But goodness, I can't wait for a month to go by so I can eat a darn taco! Or at least taco meat, cheese, and lettuce! Someone on here said that "mushies" can include beans and mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes sound SO GOOD right now. The cream of broccoli soup is satisfying but just is not enough. I'm also not doing great with the protein. I'm getting my liquids in via tea and water but that's about it. I don't quite understand the extreme need for protein. Maybe it just helps with these hunger pangs. I wonder how people do with jamba juice, robeks, juice-it-up, etc? I would love to have one of their "lite" smoothies. I think the fruit might be too much sugar. At least it's natural sugar rather than processed crap. Occassionally my side hurts, near my far right suture, but it's a fleeting feeling. I know the muscle under there is still healing so I need to be careful. I'm still worried about a hernia. In news other than food/surgery, my friends are wildly successful in their respective far away places and I'm anxiously awaiting news from my graduate school of choice. I should be getting a yes or no for my masters program any day now, and the anxiety is just killing me! If I don't get in I will feel like an absolute failure. I think I'm down approximately 15 lbs. Probably more now because I weighed myself yesterday. That's a nice feeling, but I can't wait to exercise and wear smaller clothing. When I start to exercise I will feel better overall, I think. My Mom is super supportive, which is great. She sees this as an investment... an investment in everything, I suppose. OH I'm having major issues with my period! I've been on it for over a week now and it should continue through this week (according to my pill box). I'm used to my period being expected and predictable but it came on suddenly and just won't stop. This happened to me when I started the pill years ago and my period lasted for A MONTH. Can you believe that!? I hope that doesn't happen again!

I am driving home with my mother after going to AZ (I am from CA) for the Lady Gaga concert. I have seen her twice now and she is PHENOMENAL. I had surgery 10 days ago. I was standing on the ground floor and spent the entire concert with my arms wrapped around my tummy out of fear of getting shoved in the stomach, which happened once. I had a great time. Watching everyone drink and eat was very difficult. It would have been nice to have a beer or margarita. I packed yogurt, baby food, and apple sauce in a cooler and that was my food all weekend. We stopped at a subway in a truck stop and I got some soup. I teared up watching them build sandwiches. I can't wait for two more weeks to go by.

I looked into surgery with Kaiser a year or so ago and they told me that they only do gastric bypass surgery! Kaiser will pay for VSG? Wow, that makes me very angry. I paid out of pocket for my surgery.

Hello Everyone, I'm terrified of developing/having a hernia. Can anyone advise on this? What would it feel like, what would cause one, repercussions and problems because of one, and the solution for a hernia? I haven't done much research on it, but the only thing I can imagine causing a hernia is tearing across the abdominal wall from the small laproscopic incisions from the surgery. Is this correct? Thanks for the feedback. I'm tempted to walk into my doctor's office (I'm a self-pay, done in Mexico patient) and beg them to check for a hernia... however that works.

Need some advice: I've been on "the pill" for apprx. 6 years now and have never missed a period or been late. Ever. I had my surgery one week ago and all of a sudden, a week and a half early, I have started my period! I have taken my "pill" every single day since surgery. I'm worried that the pill is not being absorbed into my system and the hormones are having no effect. Would this be the situation, or perhaps the surgery/lack of calories caused my period to start? I don't know what to think. I'm used to planning for it and all of a sudden, bam! I wake up and it has started. I hope it's just a side effect of an immediate loss of weight, calories, Protein, carbs, etc. Thanks for your feedback.

The only incision that hurts me is the one where the drain was. It's a bid wider and larger than the other four. I'm a little nervous about this as well. I am also worried about a hernia, but I have a feeling that a hernia would hurt tremendously. But I'm not sure. Hopefully someone has some feedback on this.

I'm craving my favorite foods something fierce, too. I've been texting people with lists of things that I can't wait to eat again. Probably not a good idea! In two days I get to eat YOGURT. Good lord, I never thought yogurt would be so wonderful!

Hello Everyone. I first want to say that I've been reading this forum since a month before surgery and everyone inspired me to make the decision to have the sleeve done. So thanks for your generosity when blogging on here. I'm five days post-op and am not sure how to feel about my decision. I'm 24 years old. I miss food but don't feel hungy. I hope that I have made the correct decision by having this surgery; my Mom told me that when I woke up from the anesthesia the first thing that came out of my mouth was, "What have I done to my body?" Everyone's success stories on here help me keep my chin up, but for now I'm feeling like a physical and emotional wreck. I've lost 7 pounds since my surgery date, but that was probably how much my stomach weighed! haha! I'm not feeling too energic and am taking in absolutely no Protein. I'm getting maybe 50 calories a day from popsicles and my chewable Vitamin. Once I get to day 7 I can start drinking the Protein drinks, so hopefully I'll have more energy and be slightly more positive. I decided to come into work today just to get some of the walking in. I'm not quite sure if that was a good idea. I look forward to chronicling my journey on here and hope that everyone will be as supportive with me as they are with everyone else (if that makes any sense...) =) Also, where does everyone get those cool weight loss ticker things at the bottom of their blogs? I want one! Thanks everyone. Much love. Sarah

Hello all, I would like to attend the next meeting you will be holding. I think having a personal support group is very important!