******

May I respectfully suggest you take your own advice?

For what it's worth, it sounds to me like he's got an issue with jealousy, and jealousy isn't a sign of love, it's a sign of insecurity. There are lots of guys out there who zone in on voluptuous, full-figured (fat) chicks because they think we're more appreciative of the attention and will overlook all their asshat behaviors because we're so desperate for attention. Ultimately you have to live by yourself in your own skin, and for a fairly long time. So why not be comfortable living in a healthy body no matter what anyone else says, does or thinks?

Far bee it form me too pass judgEment on your pet peaves LOL

Meggie: So glad to see you're up to posting. Just MY opinion, dear, but you may want to tread lightly on pointing out that people make spelling (or grammar) errors that need correcting in their posts. I made the mistake of mentioning my pet peeves on grammar and brought down a tirade on my "rudeness". An apparent assumption that I consider myself to be the internet grammar police......... Empress DISCLAIMER: THE FOREGOING OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THIS REPLY ARE MINE AND NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF THE MANAGEMENT!

I add Splenda and Torani Sugar Free Syrups. The Torani flavors I've tried so far are Chocolate, Almond Roca, Caramel, French Vanilla and Hazelnut. And, I liked them all! I bought small bottles to keep in my office and larger ones at home.

Some grocery stores carry them. I got mine at World Market. Check out their link: http://www.worldmarket.com/search/index.jsp?kwCatId=&kw=torani&origkw=torani&sr=1 You might also want to check out Torani's link: http://www.torani.com/home

My vote is in. Hoping you win by a landslide!

Wendy: Bariatric Advantage was required by my surgeon for the pre-op liquid stage -- it was not negotiable. I got the vanilla and chocolate and they're both pretty good. I picked up some Torani sugar free Syrups and Splenda which make the shakes scrumptious! My favorite is chocolate with the Torani Chocolate and Almond Roca syrups added. I also made vanilla shakes with Torani SF French Vanilla and added frozen cherries. That was yummy too! I bought a couple of shaker bottles from GNC and so the shakes mixed up really well (no clumps) and I took them to work with me. I bought small bottles of the syrups to keep in the office. In the morning I would just throw 2 scoops of powder in the mixer bottle along with a packet of Splenda. At lunch time I would buy a carton of skim milk and then mix the shake when I was ready to "eat". I'm 16 days post-op and I've been adding a scoop of the chocolate to my cream of wheat Cereal in the morning. Tastes like coco wheats (one of my favorite cereals growing up). Best of luck to you on your journey. Empress

Michelle: Glad to hear you're doing well. Keep walking and sipping. Welcome to the Loser's Bench. Empress

Meggie: Hang in there gorgeous one, you're going to get better every day. Walk as much as you can. Best wishes for a fast, productive "tailwind"! E

And all God's people said AMEN. Keep believing because "faith is the assurance of things hoped for; the conviction of things unseen." We know in whom we believe; that He is able to do beyond what we can think or imagine. (and I'm imagining a successful surgery, miraculous recovery and complete restoration to perfect health!) And, don't forget, the prayers of the righteous availeth much. So, pray without ceasing!

I'm sending up those prayers for you to God's ear right now! Congratulations on the weight loss so far. I'm with you on the lose/regain issue. I think during my "dieting career" I gained and then regained a football team a couple of times! This time I'm determined to not "find" any of the weight I lose. So far, 17# down (I can tell because my fingernails and eyelashes are soooooo svelte) and less than a metric ton to go! Keep telling yourself that you're going to do well and keep that phrase in your mind and on your lips -- positive thinking really works wonders. (Courtesy of "Adventures in Attitude" -- "I AM, I CAN, I WILL!!")

Valentina: You can't help anyone else until you help yourself first. Once you get better, you can turn around and address the needs of others who want to be helped. I was denied Lap Band surgery in 2006 and after finding this site and reading all of the problems and complications related to it I believe that denial was a blessing in disguise. I chose the sleeve because I'm filled with titanium -- fused spine, sacroilliac joints, and left pelvis. I also had my right hip replaced. I'm definitely on my way to becoming the bionic woman! Because of my orthopaedic history, I did not want to add malabsorption issues to the mix. And, the thought of rerouting perfectly working parts gave me the heebie jeebies. After spending weeks researching the sleeve, I knew it would be the best thing for my situation. I'm 2 weeks post-op and doing fantastic. The swelling went down quickly so I'm not having issues with getting the Water or Proteins in. I've been on the treadmill and yesterday did 1 hour at 2 m.p.h. Yay me! The weight loss isn't as drastic as I had imagined, but I'm doing this to alleviate the pressure on my back and joints. So, however long it takes is how long it takes. I'm moving in the right direction and it's all good. You know the reasons behind your decision to go this route. Stick with it. It's your life and you're doing something proactive to extend (or even save) it. Empress

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First off, I have thicker skin than you might think. I deleted the posts because I did NOT intend to hurt anyone's feelings. Second, I thought the title "pet peeves and other useless rants" would have been a tip-off as to the content. And, finally, I ended it with a statement that I must be getting better if my focus was on something OTHER than surgery recovery. So I believed it to be tongue in cheek. Obviously it came across as sticking out my tongue at others. That was not my intent at all. I meant no offense, but I do admit that I was quite surprised at the rancor that was inflicted over something that I have a problem with. I have never (and will never) respond to a post with a comment that the poster's use of grammar is incorrect. In my opinion that would be rude and offensive. I deleted the post because I don't want any more people weighing in on how "bad" I am for mentioning something I find slightly irritating. Words are the only tool we have to communicate with on this site. Please excuse my apparent insensitivity for knowing the difference between well written and not so well written. In my defense, though, my career involves professional, business writing. One quote that has stuck with me for years is "It is better to be silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and confirm it." Having said that, stick a fork in me, I'm done.

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GO MEGGIE GO!! Very shortly we'll be doing the Boa-dacious babes Winner's Dance. xoxoxo E

And, that's my how I got from there to here. The next chapter in this story will be how I get rid of the equivalent of two people and get on with the rest of my life! Kate: Welcome to the best support group you'll ever find for -- encouragement, experience, straight talk and incredible humor. All the things you'll need for the journey. We're here for you and will do everything to help you lose those 2 creeps (and help ya hide those bodies too)! Empress

Sleeved on 4/26 came home from hospital and found I had gained 6 pounds! Drag and a half for sure! Down 5 pounds since 4/28. I really thought this would go faster . But, on the plus side, no nausea, heaves, pain is under control and the swelling must have gone down really quickly because I have no problems getting in the proteins or water.

Meggie: It's amazing the gamut of emotions we go through pre and post surgery. Pre we're scared, excited, and, more than a little apprehensive that we've "suddenly" discovered the answer to our lifelong question. Who did I piss off in the universe to deserve THIS particular body -- a body that is so out of sync with the rest of the world and our own psyche that we could never, ever get control over its density. Looking around at family, friends and strangers and wondering how they could be thin or healthy weights without any effort. And, to add insult to injury, commenting on their ability to eat whatever they want and never gain -- or worse, bemoaning the fact that they can't gain weight. It has made life seem so incredibly unfair. We didn't ask for these bodies -- just the luck of the draw, and all the good cards were gone before our turn to pick. It's frustrating and the source of incredibly vicious anger that makes us look ourselves in the face and point that acusing finger....you're fat, lazy, unmotivated -- you don't really want to lose weight or you would without having to resort to mutilating yourself. Yet, if our appendix burst, we wouldn't think twice about rippin' that sucker out -- we'd do it to save our lives. I finally reached a point where I realized that while I have control over what goes into my body, I have NO control over what happens to it once that substance is IN my body. I cannot direct nutrients in the bloodstream, I cannot call up insulin and tell it to take a sabbatical or give my fat cells notice that their services are no longer needed. It operates as it was designed and somewhere along the way (without my direct intervention) broke down. I was not able to keep my spine from deteriorating, my hip from failing, my pelvis from breaking, or my hair from graying. I have never had a choice or control over the color of my eyes, or any other genetic crap shoot that made me uniquely me. And, unfortunately for me, I was never able to keep any weight off or even maintain any weight loss. Not for lack of trying, just a losing battle at losing. Post op, the fears are different. Did I really have to do this drastic thing, could I have given it one more college dropout try? Will I be able to finally reach my ideal weight and maintain it? Can I unlearn all of the bad habits related to food and eating that I've acquired over a lifetime? Will I lose me in the process of losing fat? (Crazy thoughts, maybe, but seemingly valid at the fear trigger point.) For me, the way to get through this jumble of emotions I've discerned the following: I've done this to save and extend my life to the best of my ability and with something within my control. I didn't gain the excess weight in one year -- I've been fighting this for over 50. So, however long it takes is however long it takes. The difference is that this time I'm fully cognizant and armed to win the fight. The sleeve is my weapon of choice. It won't work without the ammo -- the right food in the right amounts at the right time. It's just food, it's not good and it's not bad -- it's just food. Who I am is not what the scale says, the scale is just a different weapon in the arsenal to help me keep watch. Finally, (sorry for the length) I got to the point where I knew I couldn't live like I had for the last 50 years for one more minute -- no matter what the next minute brought. You can and will do this and be successful. You'll be successful because you know what pain is, real pain, and this is the tool that will help you alleviate or even eliminate the pain. Sending you hugs and prayers for a successful surgery, a miraculous recovery and a complete restoration to perfect health! Empress

Raine: I'm sure just like me your mind is completely ready for the losing to begin and the downright refusal of our body to cooperate is quite discouraging. But, I'm sure it's just temporary until the new tummy starts to trust me again (after all, I did just whack it in two and toss part without any warning......)