mamato2js

I ended up in the E.R. last night with horrible horrible burning knifing pain at the top of my stomach/in between the bottom of my ribs. For several days I had started to notice a burning sensation down there. I also started noticing I was "grazing" in an attempt to keep the burning under control. I knew it was wrong, but I just seemed hungry all the time, and I thought, "well, its not so bad, I'm eating small amounts." I started sleeping propped up at night and noticed that what once would fill me up, wasn't doing it for me any more, that I wanted more food to feel "full." I have tried so hard to do everything I'm supposed to....especially the chewing chewing chewing. I got a clog about 4 weeks in and it was sooo painful that It was my "lesson learned." I had the band put in on April 20th and during my first check up, the nurse only put .7cc's in because she said I was doing so well, she didn't see a need for a fill but would give me a little if it helped my "psychologically." Now, every day I have burning and when I do eat (I'm back to soft foods) I feel like something is stuck in my throat and I burp and burp and burp and burp. I also get this weird feeling of bubbles moving all around in there. This is all new.... maybe 2 weeks?? I CAN eat soft foods and drink liquids without throwing up and it temporarily stops the burning...... I only feel nauseated when I have an empty stomach and the burning is too much for me. Yesterday, when I went to the ER the pain was so bad that I couldn't sip Water w/out it making my stomach just light up w/ pain. I was bent over in pain and shaking. I was VERY nervous because the ER doctor knew pretty much NOTHING about the band and I had my surgery done 2 hours south of where I live. They ran a CT scan and said there was no blockage, but I'm not joking....no one there seemed to know anything about what to look for on the scan other than that. So now I have to wait until Wednesday to hear what the doc has to say. Are there other tests? Will a barium swallow show it? I'm so so so so scared. I keep seeing that surgery is required to fix it and I could possibly lose my band??!!! I read that over eating could cause the slippage but I've been so good. I'm beating myself up trying to recall a time when I may have eaten too much and caused this. A slippage doesn't just "happen" right? I had to have done something? I JUST started back to CORE workouts too...about 2 weeks ago. I wonder if that caused it?! For the first time in YEARS I feel hopeful, I feel good, I feel lighter, and healthier...... and now THIS! My family and I all went through this and endured so much.... to have it be all for nothing.... I'm just so upset! Has anyone been able to get the bad fixed and leave it in? OMG I wonder if insurance will pay!!!??? Have I mentioned that I'm SCARED? Can anyone offer any advice/suggestions??? thank you so much

My surgery was April 20th (wow, 4 weeks tomorrow). I understand being tired the first 2 weeks....but now that I'm eating food...well, the "soft food" stage.... I didn't expect to still feel so tired. Has anyone experienced exhaustion? I sleep w/ my cpap mask on like I'm supposed to. I take iron and get my protein in. I exercise ( I even backed off on how much thinking my body couldn't handle it). I don't understand why even when I get a full 6 hours of undisturbed sleep... after I drop the kids off I come home and sleep for another 3 to 4 hours! Anyone else feel tired ALL the time????

I'm in the "mushies" phase and ate a mini cupcake :-( They were for the kids and I just HAD to have one! ugh... now I feel awful. The guilt. I've been doing so good! Why won't the sweet tooth go away!? Some say you lose interest in sweets...... I don't know if I ever will. Its going to be such a challenge!!! Any suggestions on how to get rid of this desire for sweets???

thank you all so much for you input and encouraging words. I don't know why but its been a rough few days. I think ....no... I know I'm sad because the rapid weight loss has come to a screeching halt all of the sudden. I'm walking between 2 and 5 miles a day but that saps up most of my energy so I struggle the rest of the day just to make it w/ 2 young kids, etc.... I think exhaustion and feelings of depression kind of spark that NEED for sugar. I know there's a certain hormone or chemical that is produced in the brain when we eat sugar that gives us that temporary "feel good" kind of feeling and so we seek it when we're tired, sad, stressed..... basically what I am every day! ha ha I just wish I could turn it OFF. I've GOT to get my energy back and out of the house so I'm not staring at the fridge and cabinets thinking about food! When I go go go I dont' think about it at all...in fact I have to REMEMBER to eat. grrrrrr I just need to tell the family (kids) sorry... all treats must remain OUT of the house for a while until mommy gets stronger.

you're not alone. I was banded the same day! I used to love my protein shakes...part of my daily diet for some time now. I can barely stand the way they taste, even their texture seems different. I HATE chicken broth too. I'm totally dumbfounded by it all. Let me know how things are going for you. How are you doing today? I took a few bites of some no no's..... shame on me.

so sorry its long.... I'm so scared and confused... Well, it goes something like this... day 1- mess up... I tell myself... I'll do better tomorrow....day 2- start well, mess up, I'll do better tomorrow.... fast forward to the end and 3 out of 14 days I stayed under 1350 calories. I never stayed under 1200 like I was told to. Holy cow if I had the ability why would I need surgery?!!!! There were a few days when I panicked and ate a lot... a lot... thinking... I'll never be able to do this again!!! Wow, I thought I was so so so ready! I've been in counseling for my eating disorder for years. I've told myself... I AM READY! But, If I can't make it through the pre-op diet, am I?! Tomorrow my fasting starts...liquids only. Wednesday a.m. is my surgery. I'm wondering if I shouldn't go through with it. Most of my friends say... don't worry, you will do fine because you KNOW you can't mess up after its done. I made the mistake of reading postings where people had written that they had no pre-op diet. That was all I needed to tell myself... if they didn't...then why should I? I had other friends tell me... omg! go out there and eat whatever you want! its your last chance!! Again, all I needed...someone gave me permission to cheat...so I did. If I can't make it on this liquid fast for the next 3 days... I'm postponing the surgery. Obviously its some sort of sabotage. Am I just scared? IS there some part of me that I haven't acknowledged that doesn't want this? I was so sure, so convinced I was ready! Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I so scared when all I want is to be healthy! For goodness sakes I work out like crazy and am even in TWO nutrition classes. Why can't I keep the dang food out of my mouth!!!??? My counselor says I'm addicted to food... that it is my comfort. I lead a very stressful, often lonely, life. Food has always been my friend. I have to say goodbye and yet, handle it EVERY day of my life and not take part in it (at least most of the stuff I like anyhow and very little of every thing else). At least alcoholics and drug addicts can stay away from it, keep it out of the house, not go to clubs, etc. I can't escape food. My husband, I swear he's been sabotaging me as well....bringing home all my favorite things....allowing me to cheat.... Maybe he doesn't want me to lose weight? I'm terrified...absolutely terrified. I'm very angry at myself for failing repeatedly over the years...that I couldn't do it on my own. OMG I think I'm resenting this surgery! I'm pissed at myself. Angry for failing, angry for being weak, angry for being angry. this sucks. Last week a young woman died at our local hospital. The doctor that told me (my ortho...btw I now need knee surgery and have arthritis in my upper spine... grrrr)...that that woman had had the Lap band surgery a few weeks prior to her death. That scared the crap out of me. I have children to take care of!!!!! I can't leave them! Is this selfish to take that risk? What the heck am I doing?

I noticed today that its not so hard. I feel like I have less energy but that could be because I haven't been sleeping well...anxiety I think. What I realized through this is that I have a LOT more will power than I would have EVER given myself credit for. Its a big reassurance going into this that I can do this. It just took getting scared is all! I don't feel so guilty about messing up the 2 week "diet" since I know that the feelings I had are quite normal (the panic, etc...). Not being angry helps. But i can tell you this.... by the end of the liquid phase I will probably never touch sugar free Jello, butternut squash soup, or Naked brand juices again. LOL

I just heard about that from a friend of a friend.... that after surgery she wanted NOTHING to do with food. Right now I'm on day 2 of liquid fasting but its not just clear... I can have my shakes and soup with no "chunks" etc... I only have to be on clear for 3 days post op and then liquids for 10 more days, then its on to "mush" as I call it. I haven't cheated yet...but I have to tell you... I DO get hunger pains and it is hard to sleep at night w/ my tummy grumbling. How do you sleep at night?

OMG I did the same thing! When I got the date I was thrilled. It wasn't until the pre-op (failed) diet that I started thinking... ah man! Seriously? no chocolate at Easter! So not fair!" LOL So that's one of the reasons why I did so poorly those 2 weeks. I was...uh... getting in my easter candy! ha ha. Sad, but true. LOL. I have been fasting on liquids for 2 straight days. I have done really good. I think is the whole "shrink your liver" thing that scares me into behaving. I have to say I AM hungry rather quickly after a shake or some Soup. I've been getting dizzy headaches and my tummy growls all night long...well, it did last night anyhow... I'm assuming the same thing will happen tonight. My energy levels are dropping. I hope that passes with time. I am the kind of person that wants to make sure EVERYTHING is in order before I go somewhere and I work and work and work to make sure all is right in the house, etc... but this time I'm having to come to the realization that I may have to leave some stuff incomplete. It kills me. But I'm TIRED. I just keep telling myself... its not going to last its not going to last its NOT going to last. I'm down 20lbs from my highest in december of 260. I was shocked to see the scale say 240 today. It was motivating for me to keep going. well, that and not wanting to, you know, have problems on the operating table... :-) For Easter I planned ahead and got all of the basket stuff taken care of. I put coins in most of the eggs and just a little candy and have asked my husband to do it cuz oh what I would give for a piece of flippin' chocolate right now!!!! Or just ONE jelly bean..lol. I've never been big on giving giant easter baskets because my kids are very picky when it comes to sweets because thank God I've always limited it with them....so...they really don't like much of it. Guess who always ends up eating the candy?? Yep.. ME. This year, their piggy banks will get fat and nothing else! LOL We head down to the hotel tomorrow night. I have to check in at the hospital at 6:30 am...surgery scheduled for 9am. I'm to the point where I'm like...lets get this over with so I can get on to healing and get back to eating teeny tiny bites of food! At least it will be something!!! :-) hang in there renee

I got teary eyed reading that! Thank you. So far I haven't cheated aside from the unconscious toss of Cereal in my mouth this a.m. when I was pouring my daughter her bowl of cereal. I grabbed a few pieces popped them in and mid chew went... oops... I stood there w/ this chewed cereal in my mouth thinking...what do I do? spit it out? LOL. I just shrugged and swallowed it. But man it made me really aware of how EASY it is to just absent mindedly eat! One of my problems being a mom...always popping just a little bit of their food in my mouth! Last night I dreamt of food all night (no joke) and this morning I washed my hair w/ this new shampoo I got for brunettes (just had my hair colored back to my natural color from blonde) and so help me god... it is scented like chocolate!!!! LOL LOL. Not to mention I'm close to that time of the month and it is when I'm the most ravenous and vulnerable. I jokingly told my friend that this was the absolute WORST date my surgeon could have assigned me. During a holiday focused around candy candy candy and right at my cycle. Could he be more cruel!??? LOL Oh well... time to find out what I'm really made of. I will keep you informed!!! :-) trust me... IF I can do this... YOU can do this!!! We're in this together!!!! renee

My mother had her first knee replacement in her late forties!! Then she had her hip replaced in her early 50's, a couple years later... her other knee. She's 57 and next month will have her other hip replaced. She's battled w/ being overweight after having my brother at 30. Her mom had major joint problems as well. I dont' want that life!!!! My dad resents her because he wanted to travel after retirement but she can't do the things he wants to do. I don't want THAT life either. :-( That's why I'm having this surgery. I was so active pre weight gain. I can still run/jog (2 miles in 28 minutes is what I'm up to and can walk an hour). I can no longer do incline training because the pain in my knee is awful. Even driving hurts. I'm glad to hear you're doing better since surgery. i can't wait until I can post that I did my 10 mile hike that I did when I first met my husband! :-)

thank you! I finally did get some sleep...just took some deep breathing, prayers, and focusing on the "bigger picture." Sadly...and Kind of funny... I dreamed of food all night long. I mean... it was nutz! Junk food, good food, steaks, you name it... all went through my dreams. LOL...

wow. just....wow. I just checked my binder.... the one the surgeons office gave me w/ all the info. It just says any thing that goes "thru a straw"...no chunky soup, etc.. I'm going to do my best. I can do this. wow, what if they get in there and my liver doesn't "look good?" Well, I have a couple calls to make Monday a.m. for sure. lol. thanks again for your advice and comforting words. I'm going to try and go to sleep. I can't wait until the day comes when I don't have to struggle with the stupid cpap mask. bless you ...and have a good night :-)

Thank you so much! I know this is going to sound stupid.... but can I have my Protein Drinks? They are not clear though. There are no real guidelines listed ...it just says...liquids only... Of course I'm going to measure and keep the calories down. I don't drink soda, etc.... I was thinking things like my protein drinks, broth, tea, and thins like the Naked brand juices...carrot, green machine, etc.... Any other advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm so scared I can't sleep. and I NEED to sleep.... that's another eating trigger...sleep deprivation.

thank you thank you thank you so much for taking the time to write this!!! I can't tell you how much this has helped me. I'm 11 days out for surgery. I had my first anxiety attack this morning. I'm scared. You have put so many fears to rest! I love your blunt honesty and "real" talk! thank you!!! and btw... you look FABULOUS!!!!!

One thing I hate about scales is that they do not give you the whole picture. Are you taking measurements? You said you are exercising so you could very well be gaining some muscle and losing fat but not showing a difference...yet... on the scale. This is an example of why regular bathroom type scales can be bad......My last weigh in at my doctors... I weighed in on their InBody520 scale (look it up ...its pretty cool) that measures all sorts of different things going on in your body. For me... the scale at home said I only lost 5lbs... but in reality... I lost 8 lbs of body fat and gained three pounds of lean body mass (I work out a lot now) and my body fat percentage dropped by 2%. This machine thing even breaks down your lean body mass by segments...arms, trunk, and legs....to see where you are gaining or losing muscle. Its really awesome. It also measures Water weight both intra and extracellular. I have had over a 2000 calorie deficit before... usually I average 1500 deficit a day. I don't think you can have too big of a deficit but I'm not a nutritionist....yet. I've found a new calling and starting classes soon!!! If you are on Facebook....try adding Bodybugg there.... its really helpful too....LOTS of people will chime in with their experiences. hope this helps. I LOVE the bodybugg! Don't get discouraged... your body is changing... just keep MOVING...that is sooo key! Muscle is GOOD. My weight went down and my resting metabolism rate went UP because of muscle. renee

I'm in the 2 week pre-op 1200 calorie a day pre-op diet phase. Today is day 3. So far, I haven't been able to keep my calories at 1200. I usually end up around 1500-1700. I wear the bodybugg and work out a lot so I always have a deficit of over a 1000 calories. I'm scared because I'm fighting so hard to watch what I eat and write every thing down. If I can't do THIS... am I making the right choice? I've GOT to up my veggie intake for sure. Any diet suggestions on how to get through a very physically active day without feeling dizzy on 1200 calories a day? I'm thinking I may have to go extreme low carb in order to do this. What is the specific reason for such a low cal diet for 2 weeks right before the surgery? What if I never make it to 1200 a day but I still lose some weight because of my activity level? I'm so nervous about the 2 day liquids only diet right before surgery. Am I strong enough for this? I thought I was. I've been working on me and this and this decision for over 2 years. I'm nervous. Maybe if I understood the reasoning behind the strict diet prior to surgery it would set it my mind better. I need a logical/scientific answer to repeat in my head throughout the day so that I can make my mind convince my body to do what it needs to do!! (hope that makes a little sense.... I'm a student by nature and do better when I understand the "why's") Can anyone help?

I forgot to mention that my Basal Metabolic Rate is 1646....its actually gone up even though my weight has gone down since I'm building muscle. If I'm burning an average of 3200- sometimes 4000 calories a DAY ... doesn't 1200 a day seem a bit extreme? I understand I won't be burning that much for quite a while after surgery due to recovery, etc.... I have been told it will take some time to get my energy levels back up to where I am now and I only plan on continuing to build back the body I once had (athlete). I read somewhere that the strict diet makes your liver shrink?????

Yeppers!!! I'm scheduled for the 20th!!! I'm nervous, scared, and excited all rolled up in one. :-) Will be thinking of you!! One week from today!!!!

I'm due to have surgery March 20th and am looking for foods to have around during the liquids and pureed food phases. I'm okay with the liquids but am struggling to find good pureed food. I read on another site that a lot of people used baby food either alone or mixed with something else. Soooo, today I bought a few different types to try out...because I do not want to be struggling through this process mentally/physically and then trying to figure out what to eat on top of that! I even went as far as trying a stage 2 chicken and vegetable one! ICK! I tried adding spices...but only got four bites in before I started to gag. Any suggestions for the pureed food phase? thank you!

thank you both for taking the time to reply. Its very encouraging. I'd love to write more but the hubby is waiting patiently for me! :-) thank you again!!

Hi all I am due to have my surgery on April 20th. I have been working out for some time now and am really worried about how long I have to wait before I can get back to the gym. I run, swim, work with a trainer for building muscle, and another trainer for boxing...though just started the boxing. Pre-weight gain I was very athletic an my body seems to be "remembering." I'm building muscle fast and slowly watching my running endurance improve. I work out 5-6 days a week and am really REALLY scared about losing everything I've worked to build up to now. I have a LONG way to go and I'd rather not backslide. NOT having the surgery is not an option for me either. I'm DONE fighting this weight all on my own. I've been trying for years. I have a few questions.... During the liquids only phase... do you even HAVE enough energy to work out if you're allowed? I average 1.5 to 2 hours working out and really push it on the weight training. I'm wondering how long I'll have to wait. Is anyone else out there into weight training? Boxing? I've been looking over some posts and I'm really getting frightened by some of the "bad experiences" I've been reading about! Any advice, suggestions, etc... would greatly be appreciated. thank you Renee

wow everyone! thank you so much! I really want to take the time to reply to each of you but I've had a super long day and my hubby is waiting for our very rare "time with out the kids" time. :-) I genuinely appreciate the welcome :-)

Hi all! I'm a "newbie" to this. My name is Renee and I'm a 35 year old stay at home mama, student, and wife. My children are six and a half ( I HAVE to say the "half" or she gets upset! :-) ) and five. My husband is a federal employee and also serves in the USAF. He is gone a LOT, so many times I feel like a single mom. I'm also slowly working on getting my teaching credential.... SLOWLY. I was scheduled to student teach in the fall, but now I may not be able to as my husband received orders to go to Afghanistan *sniff.* Long story short.... I lost track of "me" over the years of being married, enduring many, MANY moves, 2 babies, a broken ankle w/ 2 babies, and on and on..... over the years the scale just continued to climb until I had no idea who was looking back at me in the mirror. I was once a vibrant, active, smart, athletic girl... my first date w/ my husband was hiking up a big mountain in Carmel, CA. I figured, if he could hack a 10 mile hike w/ me sweaty, in a ball cap and no make-up...then we had a chance! Nine years later.... I'm desperately trying to find that girl again. I now have degenerative disk disease and have completely lost the last disk in my spine and am losing the second one. I have arthritis in my right knee, have sleep apnea, and am just plain miserable. food became my comforter in the times of stress, loneliness from having a husband who is gone all the time, and a study buddy late at night. I am 5'9.5".... I lost half an inch to age and weight!!! I currently weight 249 lbs. My profile picture shows me on my 35th b-day in Las Vegas weighing in at 247 lbs! My goal is to lose 100 lbs though the body measurement scale my surgeon uses says that, due to muscle mass, I only need to lose 80. "We'll see"... is all I say to him. On March 31st I was given the good news that I was approved, first time trying, by my insurance to receive the lap-band surgery. The following day I received my surgery date of April 20th!!! I was so excited, scared, and overwhelmed I just started crying on the phone... then I thought I was going to throw up from the shock. Now, 17 days away from a new beginning... its starting to sink in. 7 months ago, when I began this process, it all seemed so un-real...so... unattainable. I had to jump through soooo many hoops! Its almost like I began to lose sense of the seriousness of it all... because it seemed like it was never going to happen! I stopped counting calories, I went back to many of my old ways... I just stopped caring again. Then BAMN! Just like that... I have to re-set my mind, get a nutrition plan up and running and a menu for my first 2 difficult weeks going in a matter of days. Talk about stressful!...which btw is a trigger for me to eat! ugh. Well, I'm hoping to meet some new people here, hear some wonderful success stories, hear that I'm not alone in my struggles, my fears... and hopefully a LOT of my joys. Its nice to meet you all :-)

Hi Dave thank you for the warm welcome! Yes, I DO hear "the band is just a tool" ALL the time. I'm very aware it is NOT the answer. I'm aware that my weight is just as much emotional as it is physical. Luckily, I'm a student by nature and have been studying and going to counseling for some time now...wow, not that I think about it...its been well over a year. I know that the changes will not just be physical ones. In fact, I chose the lap-band for a slower weight loss rate so that I could have time to adjust with the mental/emotional aspects of it all. I suffered from an eating disorder when I was younger and weighed it at 5'10" at 120lbs. Technically I still have one...just the extreme opposite of when i was younger. I was warned that the rapid weight loss of bypass may trigger that need to lose "just a little bit more" and not have the time to adjust as well. I agreed. I am back to the gym now on a regular basis. I have a personal trainer and have built up my strength quite a bit. I've also started with a personal trainer in boxing as well. I'm worried about not being able to get back in there as fast as I would like. Were you working out before the surgery? I can't seem to find anyone in my position to ask how long it takes to get back up to full speed... and then some. I'm already addicted to working out. I'm worried about becoming weak after the surgery. Any thoughts???