sugarxsnapxsarah

I think the last time I was at a "Normal" BMI was when I was four. I have a picture from when I was in my Grandmothers Kitchen.Ever since then, I've been the chubby kid. I took dance classes from 4 til 17 and loved every minute of it, until it was recital and costume time, I was always the kid that had to have mine altered, because even the biggest size was too small for me.

I've never really known what it was like to not be big. I've always depended on my personality to get me through, trying to be funnier than other girls, or "cooler". It never landed me the guy. As I got older, I became more comfortable with myself, and in a way, accepting the fact that I will always be overweight. But deep down, that’s not who I am. I want to be fit, I want to be able to shop at any store I want in the mall. I want to share a seat on the metro. I want to go for a run with my dog. But with my Health, I am either unable to, or too afraid to.

Last year I began looking into Bariatric Surgery as a tool to help me become the person I am destined to be. I kind of jumped in to it blindly, just thinking I was going to get some info an guidelines to help me make a decision. Next thing I know I am half naked trying to run on a treadmill with a million things stuck to me. I had taken my time getting all the testing done. My biggest struggle was getting a letter from my PCP supporting my choice. That appointment ended with my crying and him telling me to find a new Doctor. Needless to say, I found someone new, that was extremely encouraging and non judgmental.

Then my insurance was going to change at work. As this point I was feeling so discouraged, I didn't think I would be able to continue. I'm that girl that throws the towel in waaay too early. With a little encouragement from friends, I went ahead and submitted everything with my surgeon to my new insurance company. Being from New England, pessimism (if that’s even a word) runs in our blood. Every day I reminded myself that this probably wouldn't happen, and hopefully I would be able to do this on my own. I recently changed my diet (became vegetarian over the holidays) and promised to myself that I would start working out (I think I made this promise to myself every 6 months).

Just last week, as I was leaving work and just about to get on the metro, my Surgeons office called to let me know it has been approved! May 11th is my surgery date. I am so excited and nervous all at the same time.

I look forward to documenting my journey and networking with others for support through the remainder of this life changing process!