Roudoudou

Hi, everyone. Lately I've been feeling kind of down about the whole dating thing. The thing is, I'm 33 and have never had a boyfriend! Not one. It's actually very embarrassing to share, but I thought that some people here might understand. The thing is, I'm not horrible looking. At least I don't think I am. Yes, I'm very overweight but I make an effort with my appearance (most days!) am very friendly, approachable and social. I just never get any positive attention from guys. It has really started to get me down as I don't know what it is about me that is so unattractive and while I think my weight is a lot of it, I don't know if it's all of it. And it just really hurts feeling that no one is ever going to be interested in me; I worry that I'll always be alone. I would really appreciate hearing any thoughts from anyone who's experienced something similar and if you have advice on how to cope, that would be great. Guys, too! I know girls aren't the only ones who feel this way. Thank you for reading; I just am feeling so down and had to get it out.

I have pretty much decided to see Dr. Aceves. Everything I've read about him is extremely positive. However, I do wonder if his higher cost for the sleeve is worth it. To anyone who has had their surgery by him, what exactly made you decide to pay more to see him? Are his results that much better? Just curious; I think he sounds great, but money is a concern for me. Thanks! Ann

Hi, everyone! I know after weight loss surgery, we're eating maybe 400 - 600 calories per day. Maybe a bit more, but certainly less than 1200 calories per day. I was always told that you never wanted to eat less than 1200 calories per day or your body would go into starvation mode. So, how does this work? How do we lose weight when we're eating so little? Wouldn't our body try to "hold on" to as many calories as possible and make the weight come off very slowly? Just a bit confused as it seems counter-intuitive to what I've always heard. Any insight would be appreciated! Thanks! Ann

Thank you for the great answers, especially Tiffy! That makes sense. I feel good, I'm losing, so I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing. Thanks again! Ann

Great; thank you!

Yum; this sounds really good! I'm new to baking with Splenda; does anyone know how much I should use? The recipe calls for a cup of sugar; should I use a cup of Splenda? Or less? Thanks to anyone who has advice! Ann

Hi! So, this isn't really an insurance question but I figured this would be the most appropriate place to post it. Does anyone know if the Family Medical Leave Act applies for surgeries done in Mexico? I'd like to take sick time for this but wasn't sure if I would be able to as I wouldn't be seeing a US doctor. Thanks in advance for any guidance you can offer! Ann

You look GREAT!

Wow; what a great topic! I think for me (and this is a long way off as I haven't even had my surgery yet!), I'd like to get my teeth whitened, a deep chemical peel to youthen my complexion (I'm 34, but being heavy, I feel about 45!), maybe eyelash extensions just for fun and a tummy tuck down the road. I am so looking forward to having a younger, healthier looking body and want to treat myself to all of the goodies that just enhance that.

Welcome! We're glad you're here. Ann

Hi! One of the reasons I think I'll do well with the sleeve is the element of restriction. When I don't feel good, I don't eat. That said, I'm wondering if any one can describe that feeling. Is it uncomfortable? Hurt? Tight? Just feel overfull? Feel like you're going to vomit? And just HOW powerful is the feeling? Could you theoretically "push" through the pain or is it really bad? Thank you for any insight you can provide! Ann

Hi, everyone! Well, I'm definitely going to get the sleeve. But that won't be until September and I'd like to work on losing some weight before then. But I'm just having a really hard time getting started. I have such an addiction to processed, sugary, fatty food that even going ONE day without it seems hard. Once I get going, I'm fine, but this time, it's just really difficult for me. Does anyone have any suggestions to kick-start themselves? Kicks in the pants are very welcome, too. Thanks! Ann

Thanks, everyone! You are definitely right; my health is important and I want to see someone in whose abilities I feel confident. He really does seem exceptional. Thanks again!

I'm just curious if prior to getting sleeved, any of you tried dieting and exercise one last time. I'm pretty set on getting the sleeve, but also feel I owe it to myself to try to give the "traditional" way of losing weight another try. Did any of you try this before you eventually got sleeved? What was it like? What were your results? Did it reinforce your decision to get the sleeve? Thanks!

Thanks for all of the responses! I also am doing this for my family and for me, but a big part of it is to prove to my family that I really need this surgery. I already know I need it! But like Ybnormal said, it can't hurt to have this preparation for life after surgery. Pre-surgery boot camp! Foxbins, thanks for sharing your story about going to the Biggest Loser ranch. I've often thought that if I could just be in an environment like that, I'd lose the weight with no problem. But there's something deeper at work with the seriously heavy. I wonder why it is that so few of the obese are able to lose weight permanently. Is there something physiological? I'm going to do some research but of course welcome your thoughts.

Welcome, Pasquini! We're so glad you're here.

Wow! I think you look really pretty in both pictures but you can definitely see a huge difference in the second one; you look great! Congratulations and keep up the GREAT work!

Welcome! I think you're going to love this site! So many wise people; it is a continuous source of inspiration, support and information for me! Keep in mind that something like only FOUR percent of people who are seriously obese are able to lose the weight and keep it off. I don't see weight loss surgery as the easy way out; I see it as the ONLY way out for people in our situation. Why deprive yourself of a healthier life? Good luck! Ann

Thank you for all of your answers! That helps a lot and makes sense. Feeling more reassured now.

Hey, guys. I'm nearly decided I'm going to have this surgery and that I want Dr. Aceves to do it in Mexicali, Mexico. My one big concern is: what if something goes wrong afterwards? Will I be able to arrange for a surgeon to take care of me here? I'm pretty sure my primary care doctor will be okay with ordering my blood work and upper GI (although I'm going to check with her first) but I'm more concerned about a major complication. What did others do? Also, and I hate to think that this might be necessary but one never knows, what if something goes horribly wrong as a result of the surgery and an issue of a malpractice suit comes up? Is that even a feasible option when one's had the surgery in Mexico? I'm less worried about legal issues as I am about complications and how I'd address those. Anyone who's had surgery abroad, especially in Mexico, I would greatly appreciate your insights! Thanks! Ann

Hooray! That is so exciting! Keep us posted!

These wake up calls are important and I applaud you for realizing that you just got one! High blood pressure is indeed very serious and is probably what scares me the most about being overweight. I'm on medication for mine and I just shouldn't be needing to take that at 33! You are getting control again by making the right choices for your health. Starting the pre-op diet is going to help you lose some weight and probably lower your blood pressure, too! Did your doctor mention your high BP and ask to see you again? I would think he'd want to keep a close eye on that. Good luck and you can do it! The healthier you will thank you.

Perfectly normal worry! I wonder the same thing. When I got down to 175 (seems so long ago!), I suddenly started getting attention from guys. It felt great, but freaked me out, too. I'm not used to getting attention from guys and I didn't really know how to handle it. Ha ha; I didn't have much time to figure it out since I gained the weight back so quickly. But, it's true that a lot of guys won't be into heavier girls and I don't fault them for that. I think if this guy approaches you and you feel good about it, go for it! You might playfully ask him why the sudden interest (can't make it too easy for him!) but don't make it an issue if you like him. You'll be going through so many changes that talking to a counselor might be a really good idea. I don't know about you, but so much of my identity is tied up in being heavy and there's a lot of hurt from feeling I'm treated differently by most everyone, men and women. Talking things over with someone could help a lot. Last thing: I agree with a previous poster that as your confidence improves, so will your attractiveness! Guys definitely are attracted to confidence and you deserve to be with someone great. No more settling for you. So, be healthy and happy and when you're ready, the new confident you will make her entrance.

Argh, the conversations with very well-meaning loved ones! I spent the weekend at my parents' and my brother came over for dinner on Saturday night. On Friday night, my Mom had been telling me she had sll of these concerns about me getting the surgery, especially in Mexico. She said she feared I didn't realize the changes I'd need to make in my eating afterwards, that it is irreversible, that it is dangerous getting it in Mexico, etc. So, she definitely made me a little more nervous, as I'm not entirely sure I am going to get the surgery anyway. Then my brother came over and after dinner everyone launches into the interrogation and treatises on how this is a bad idea. Basically, what my Mom said to a power of three! My brother said he thought I'd never really and truly given weight loss a try, and I have to somewhat agree wtih him. It is very hard (as I'm sure most of you will agree!) and I do tend to get discouraged pretty quickly, or I lose a good 35 pounds and gain it back with interest. And I started freaking out about missing all the things I like to eat (and the unhealthy quantities, I'll be honest). So, I told them that before I booked my surgery, I'd commit to a healthy eating plan for six months. I'm just really not convinced I'll be successful; most very large people aren't (I'm 5'6", 295 pounds) and I just kind of feel in my gut (no pun intended!) that the surgery is the only way I'll be successful. But, they did get me thinking and I know they only want what's best for me. Here are their major concerns and I guess mine, too: 1. What if I have complications once I'm back home? Will I be able to get treament in the US if I had the surgery in Mexico? 2. What if I'm never able to get used to the new way of eating and always feel deprived and like I'm missing out on, let's face it, one of the joys of life, which is eating? 3. What if the surgery isn't done properly? I think Dr. Aceves sounds awesome but my Mother is freaking out about me having it down there Thanks so much for reading and your thoughts if you have time. I really want to make the best decision for myself but I hear their concerns and can't help but be nervous. I want to be healthy and if this is what it truly takes, great; I just want to be prepared. Thanks again!

Wow, you look really great! You can definitely see it in your face. Keep up the awesome work!