ranchersdaughter

Hi! Wonderful subject and one not often discussed but should be! I am a female welder in a world of male welders. The ratio of men to women at work is about 125 to 1!!!! It's been my experience that men of all ages, sizes and shapes will hit on an attractive female, regardless of the circumstances. There are no tried and true techniques as to how to handle it, but I've come up with a few that work well for me, as I'm married, and the last thing I need is a dog in heat at work. I'll use your example as an example! When that gentleman asked you to lunch, and brushed off your brush off when you said you'd already eaten by offering to buy you dinner and keep it in his room for you, I would have immediately asked if he could be sure to buy enough for your boyfriend too, as he would be picking you up from work later......smile big, wink and grin! This not only adds some humor to the situation without being rude, but also puts a mediater aspect on things (whether you have a boyfriend or NOT!) pretend like you do. Then the gentleman can bow out gracefully, will probably make a joke about not wanting to share you with your boyfriend and go on his merry way. Your job and integrity are still intact and you were polite. Keeping a smile on your face and finding some way to derail the come ons with humor, and also set the man at ease so he doesn't feel totally emasculated, is the easiest by far. Good luck and congrats on the attention! It might not be wanted but it's proof positive that your surgery is working!!!!! Christal

Myfitnesspal has been good for me.

Ursie, Thank you so much for your openness and honesty here! I feel your pain, but I have to tell you, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF!!!!!! There are worse things in life than not being able to control your appetite, of that there's no doubt!!!! I feel that you blame yourself for everything that has happened to you and anyone close to you. Darling, you may have big shoulders, but NOBODY'S that strong. Listening to you, I get the sense that you are a victim of the apple not falling far from the tree. In other words, you developed the habits that you were exposed to every day, such as over eating. The problem with developing habits is that they are so HAAARD to break. Take me for instance, I was a smoker. I hated it. Hated the way it smelled, hated the way it made me feel, and I quit a hundred times. The kicker was, I could quit and be doing incredible, until I got around a beer. hmmm...beer in one hand cigarette in the other and my months of being 'quit'? Out the window. So one day I quit smoking cigarettes and picked up a grape flavored cigar. Better? No. But I 'consoled' myself with the fact that I wasn't smoking 2 packs a day. Instead, when I wasn't puffing on a cigar...I would eat. Nice substitute. Not. So when I decided to have my sleeve done, I also decided to quit smoking. My husband bought me an e-cig a week before my surgery and I haven't touched tobacco since. I still have the hand to mouth addiction, especially when I'm bored or nervous and I've chewed the mouthpiece to my ecig to shreds a few times, but I DON'T miss smoking! And with my sleeve, I DON'T miss eating EITHER! Ursie, maybe this will help. Find a comfortable position, get very quiet within your head, heart and soul and spend about 3 hours FORGIVING yourself. Do it silently, do it at the top of your lungs, write it down, record it, cry, laugh, yell, scream, throw a pillow, but however you get rid of the tension and guilt and shame, make sure to just get it out!! Then, do that as often as you feel you need to!! Once you feel calm, and have a sense of peace within yourself, start researching the sleeve. Find out everything you possibly can, write down questions and ask your doctor. Get your head comfortable with the changes and get your soul quiet. Once you have come to terms with everything that you will go through, pre op and post op, I have no doubts that you will be STRONG enough to follow a pre-op diet!!! Even if it means drinking 5 gallons of chicken broth at a sitting, as long as it's a liquid going in, you've got it made!!!!!!! Look at it this way. You gave birth to a child. God would never have given you that opportunity if He didn't feel you could handle it! You have raised your gift from God for 12 years! God wouldn't have given you those years if He didn't think you could handle it! Be good to yourself, be a little selfish, cleanse your heart and mind and soul of the guilt and make the first step to a healthier, happier you!!!!!!! Ursie, if there is ANYTHING, and I do mean ANYTHING that I can help you with on this journey, please do not hesitate to drop me line or call me!!!!!! ranchers.daughter@live.com, (505)264-4556. We stick together here, thick thin good bad ugly beautiful, it doesn't matter. Love, Christal

I cannot relate to crossover addictions as per POST SLEEVE, as I chose to stop smoking 2 weeks before my surgery and thanks to my e-cig have not touched a cigar (yes, I said cigar.....omg I loved grape flavored swisher sweets!)since. However...... I CAN relate to PRE sleeve crossover addictions. I gave up food in order to drink and work. 2 jobs, 3 hours of sleep, a pack of cigs and enough cheap whiskey to pickle me from head to toe, not just my liver. Was I thin? Oh hell yeah! Was I healthy? Oh hell to the no! Was it obvious I wasn't healthy? Yeah, I was 35 years old and looked 50. Sweet lil side effect of addictions. I must give you a HUGE cyber hug and congratulate you on recognizing what is happening to you and doing something about it, because you're obviously making changes for YOU and THAT is the only way to succeed! I wish you the VERY best, you are in my prayers and if you ever feel the urge to just dump a load off, my shoulders are big!! Christal

You should really wait until you're married........... (Giggle Snicker.........Snort!) (Couldn't resist the temptation!!!!!!!)