Love the tool analogy!! Thanks. That build-up of shame and fear is totally part of what happened with me. I just got to a point where I had to say to myself, "Self, if you're not going to use the damn thing, take it out!" And since I really didn't want to go through surgery again, and what I did really want it to lose weight and be healthier, I decided the only thing to do was to go back to the doc and to behave as if I were back at square one.