Love your name, hehe. :-) I too have a husband who is not as supportive as I would like. However, a lot of his insecurities stem from his past relationships where two of his ex's had gastric bypass. Now his first girlfriend has gastric bypass about 10 years ago and she didn't have the proper therapy beforehand and she had several issues afterwards where in a sense she went pretty crazy. Their relationship ended, she lost weight, got married and had four kids. His ex-fiance also had gastric bypass and she had a lot of complications and ended up losing weight and leaving him(and also got married right away afterwards). My husband has always been attracted to curvy women and has always thought they are beautiful. He is somewhat concerned that following my weight loss he will not look at me the same way, however that's a risk I am willing to take to better my health. I do feel that he says that only because he is scared of me losing the weight and feeling threatened, I honestly believe he will find me more attractive since he always comments on pictures of me when I was slimmer and says I was sexy. Even if when I say slimmer I mean 260! lol Considering that he had two girlfriends have WLS and leave him, he is VERY insecure about me losing weight. When I mentioned that I was considering Lap-Band he was extremely upset. He kept saying that I was going to leave him and he started to emotionally disconnect from me for awhile. After I explained my reasoning and why I wanted Lap-Band(I have diabetes and PCOS and hope to have children one day) he started to come around somewhat but I'd be lying if I said he changed his tuned. We had a heart to heart and he explained that he loves my personality and how compassionate I am and he is scared that I am going to change as I lose weight. I have a therapist I meet with who specializes in Bariatic Surgery and he went with me twice and put his feelings out there. It was really good for the both of us and he got to express his anxiety regarding my surgery.
I am currently one week post-op and I can tell you that we are doing ok, however it's tax season and my husband is a CPA and extremely stressed. I chose to have my surgery during tax season because I wanted him to be more focused on work, rather then my surgery so he didn't drive me insane. Hehe. I have done very well with recovery, however I have babied my husband quite a bit(making him dinner, doing laundry, packing his lunch for work, going to the grocery store, etc) even though I haven't been feeling in tip top shape. I wish he were more compassionate towards me and my healing process, however he has carried the groceries up for me and he has been walking with me every evening. He also has congratulated me on my weight loss so far and made sure to bring me flowers while I was doing my pre-op diet because I was so stressed and upset and also brought pretty flowers after surgery. My therapist told me that since he made it clear that he is not ready to support me 100% in this, that I cannot expect the support from him that I desire. I do appreciate that he is still as affectionate and loving towards me as he was before and hopefully as I lose weight he will understand that I have no intentions of leaving him. I married him because I love him and deep down he is one of the most sensitive and loving men I know. Regardless of how much I love and care about my husband, it was time for me to put myself first. Sometimes I think that this process will make us stronger, but you never know. I'm just taking everyday as it comes right now.