coops

Not sure if this is the right place for this... didn't really want to post in the 'success' thread cos I am saving my goal post for their! Anyhoo... yep! It's just over three years since I had my sleeve and it really has been a roller coaster ride. Just a little pre sleeve background; fat kid - mother was and still is to a degree a 'feeder'! Nothing sinister in it, she just loves to see people enjoy food and goodies! As a teenager. although looking back I wasn't really that big, I had a really twisted sense of self image and thought I was disgusting. At 16 I started dieting and basically cut back drastically on calories with little affect! Just made me tired. Still unhappy with my body I joined different slimming clubs and over the next 10 years spent a lot of money with no results. In this time however, I was fit. I used to do a lot of sport; swimming, aerobics, steps, gym, a little running, squash, tennis... the list goes on and I loved it. Looking back I was not big and I was not fat... I was just young and very naive; wanting to look like my skinny friends who were 5-6 inches taller than me and completely different body shape! At 28 I was preggas with my first - my beautiful daughter (we share the same birthday!) who is now 15. Gained a lot of weight and didn't lose any of it. 2 years later preggas again with my beautiful son who is now 13; same story, gained and never lost. So there I was 30 and morbidly obese I can't even describe how unhappy I was and how much I hated myself. I tried all the slimming clubs again, and had no success which really did get me to a real low place. Throughout this time, I focused on being mam. It seemed the only way to get through the feeling of self loathing was to focus on these two precious people and it worked to a degree. However, the down side was that I lost all sense of me. Fast forward to 2009, I started researching WLS because I knew it was the only way that I would get healthy and fit again. I knew I had to pay for it because to get it on the NHS (here in the UK) it was virtually impossible at the time. Once my job became permanent, I knew I could get a loan and get the surgery. I attended a few WLS seminars and learnt about the sleeve (I originally wanted the band) and knew it was the one for me. I wanted something permanent, like I was giving myself a new commitment. Weighing 238lbs I was admitted, signed all the papers and was prepped for the surgery the following morning, that was Friday 2nd July 2010. I wasn't nervous, I wasn't scared. I just wanted to start my new life and get 'me' back. The op went well and I stayed in for 5 days - the surgeon wanted clear drains. I am glad I did too, because the first 48 hours were long and a little painful. The first 6mths I had a steady weight loss, with many stalls. But I was making good progress and generally pleased. I started exercising and feeling good about myself; I was getting stronger and started to like what I saw. My weight loss slowed down considerable and I went down the route of comparing myself to other sleevers in the same time frame - mistake! (Newbie alert - do not do this - it is a pointless exercise as we are all very different and our body reacts differently!) I found my self in a really dark place that was similar to the one I used to go to when I was a young girl. I did continue to lose weight, albeit slowly until Oct 2011! The it all stopped and I have been bouncing around the same weight since then. I set myself loads of mini goals and targets and never made any of them! That was a kick in the d**k too! I had this image that on my 40th birthday I would be this beautiful slim woman, wearing a killer black dress and knock out heels - nah! I was still obese! And I was gutted. I would read posts on here that said ' I farted and lost 100lbs' (ok, slight exaggeration, but you get my drift) and think to myself, I wish I could fart that hard! But I couldn't, so I didn't and I just kept plodding along. My problem was that I had entered early menopause - confirmed when I was 39 and I had started taking HRT. That did one on my system and completely halted my weight loss. I stopped and started different types and didn't get on with any of them. Currently I am not on any medication and I am pretty much 'playing it by ear'! After the 8mth mark I really upped my exercise and I started going to my son's boxing gym... my goodness me! What a fantastic work out and I really did reap the rewards; not through the scales but physically and mentally. I loved it. I went religiously for a long time - until I had a back injury that stopped me in my tracks. I went to physio and slowly it got better. However, I never really went back to exercising at the same capacity because I was scared that my back would go again. I didn't want to relive that kind of pain and I couldn't afford time off work. I took to walking and some light jogging instead. Fast forward to today... I still haven't got to my surgeon's goal; I am just 9lbs away and I am I am 24 lbs away from my personal goal (BMI of 24 - not sure that will ever happen). However, I have not experienced a regain and I've maintained this weight since Oct 2011 (with a 2-4 lb 'bounce) - in that time I have dropped two dress sizes - funny how the body works eh? I honeslty believe that I have not regained because I never met goal and this has kept me on my toes and I remain accountable. I never take my sleeve for granted and I am very aware of what, when and why I eat. That doesn't mean I don't eat junk! I do, but rarely. Nothing is 'off limits' to me, I just make choices. The only thing I can't really tolerate is fizzy pop - I can physically drink it, but I hate the gassy feeling and the bloated feeling it gives me, so I stay away. I am now 3 mths post TT and with the apron gone and some minor muscle repair and I am starting to feel good about myself and this body that holds me. I have started going to Curves and am I feeling the benefit - this is my way back to the boxing gym. My aim is to, with my TT surgeon's permission, get there by Sept/Oct this year. I am also following the 5:2 diet and it seems to be working as I have broken my 'set point' of 164 lbs and am currently sat at 163! Ok, it is only a pound, but after so long of not seeing any movement I feel like a new woman...lol! I am hopefully that I can at least get to my surgeon's goal and possibly even break through that? Sorry this is so long, I just wanted to put the whole picture out there - although, I am sure I have missed a lot! I suppose the main thing I wanted to get across is that it doesn't really matter what the scale reads! Even today I am medically obese - and although I hate that label it doesn't drive me mad anymore. I am fit and healthy and that is way more important. I have turned my life around and added 20 years to it; 20 quality years at that. I have started to accept 'me' and for the first time in a long time I quite like Coops; she's alright! I will continue my Quest to get to goal... I refuse to give up on myself and I now realise that I am worth the effort! As cliched as it sounds but it really is a journey. And one that will never really end... I will find some before and after pics and update them later!

Hi Jane - year, I'm a survivor. Really starting to feel the benefit of the TT now and almost back to my 'normal self' - still swell in the evening, but that is completely normal. I can't believe the difference that spinning has made to my hubby - once I get permission, I am defo gonna give it a go. I've not heard one bad thing about it... and it is low impact on the joint too - bonus!

Another great site is realself.com - the pictures and reviews on there are taken/written by the actual patient not the doc... I found it very informative, especially in the early days of recovery post TT. And there are quite a few with 'lower' bellies after weight loss.

Hey SS - long time now see... COngrats on getting your surgeries - I remember you wanting it done a long time ago! I'm 4mths post TT and BL (got the green envy for the arms here, I just couldn't afford it!). I know you are in the early stages of healing, but I can't stress how these surgeries have made a huge difference to my mental state of mind! Let us know how you are doing! x

Hey! I'm 4mths post TT with lower ab muscle repair and BL. I still swell, pretty much daily, especially after exercise. I used to wear my binder a lot too, more so at bed time... and that certainly helped to a certain point. Over the last two weeks I have stopped it - occasionally wearing it to bed if I feel super swollen - and the swelling is still there, albeit better. Sounds like you are doing well... but I just wanted you to know that all is normal with the swelling and it can last for many, many months post op.

Hey... I haven't started boxing yet... I think I'll have to wait 'til I'm 6 mths post TT cos it is 'vigorous' exercise. I am currently doing Curves 3-4 times a week and enjoying it. It isn't the same as the boxing gym but it is defo giving me good results and boy, do I sweat! Glad to see you back on here - don't sweat about the odd 800 cal fast day - I would call it a semi fast day as there is still a huge cal deficiency in your intake!

end of my 'feed day', next fast is Fri this week. Been just ok today - did have bread and no nasty reaction...lol... always a worry! No real want of a meal, so a few Snacks through the day and then Curves which, I enjoyed. I had to make myself go 'cos I was feeling lethargic and not in the mood. Glad I went now though. My kids are home from their holiday with my parents... So I have just over a week to get the four of us sorted before we go away. Gonna be a busy time, but the thought of two weeks with not much to do but relax and spend time with my family makes it worth while. Not feeling optimistic for a good scale reading in the morning... looks like I have a new bounce range of 160 - 164, but you know me... I will keep on keeping on! Hope everyone else is doing well... hugs!

thank you... I refuse to give up! This lil sleeve of mine cost me a lot of money... and I view it like a marriage; a commitment, for life, to get me the body I deserve! I am getting there, slowly but surely. Regarding fitness - have you tried to mix things up? When I first started exercising I also went down the route of jogging - not to the same level as you - but I could go steady on the treadmill for 50-60 mins at one point. Then I got bored, stopped seeing progress and results. I started going to my son's boxing gym. That was absolutely fantastic. Not only did I see huge improvements in my fitness and strength, but also in the way my body looked. Even now, I have so many comments on how good my legs are and how muscly they are (yes, they have a lot of muscle, especially on the calf, and I don't think they look good or feminine, but as I said, I get a lot of positive comments!)! Anyway, my point is, perhaps you need a new focus... a new fitness regime that will let you see results and feel benefits. Not sure if you know, but I am 4mths post TT with muscle repair to the lower abs (apparently I had good upper abs - thank you boxing gym!) ... it has also been literally life changing. The recovery is a long road, but so very worth it. I have started going to the women's gym, Curves, and now I am in the swing of it I am starting to see results again. This is my window to get back to the boxing gym (with my surgeon's permission) but I am starting to feel physically and mentally fit again. I also want to try spinning - my hubby has been going and along with a change in his diet - doing the primal style like me - he has seen amazing results and 35lbs lost. He upper body has also changed... his love handles have all bit gone, and he is getting more toned across the shoulders, back and tummy areas. Would this be something you could try? Dunno, just bouncing some ideas around because, I do understand where you are and I think we are pretty much on the same page.

Yea, I agree, very interesting. However, I am not at goal, and therefore not really 'maintaining' my goal weight. But I have pretty much sat at this weight for a very long time (more recently, following the 5:2, I have broken my set point and seeing smaller numbers - still not at goal though. What I am trying to say is that if this is the way I have to 'live' in order to maintain my weight, so be it. I am not feeling deprived or disappointed in the foods I chose to eat - and it is just that, a choice. Yea, sometimes I will indulge and have some carby goodies... and yes, the scale will go up - but as soon as I stop and resume normal eating, it goes back down. I always look at my non sleeve, slim friends and they way they view food. Say she goes on holiday - she doesn't think 'oh God I can't eat/drink that 'cos I'll gain weight'. She just goes ahead and enjoys the food choices she makes and deals with it when she gets home. The one friend that always springs to mind has just returned from a 2 week holiday and gained 5lbs ( or that is what she told me) anyway, she wore it like a badge of honor... saying that it was 'proof' of a bloody god holiday! Now she is back she has returned to her normal eating pattern, and those 5lbs have pretty much gone! I think it is the perception that is important here - she didn't panic or stress out... just dealt with it and the extra pounds went away. Butter, what you said about the comfort of the losing phase rings true with me also... perhaps one way to deal with this is to find another 'challenge' where you can quantify your results; perhaps fitness... aren't you a runner? Could you use that area to take the empty space of weight loss... make yourself new fitness challenges to fill the space and to give you something to focus on and therefore a feeling of achievement. I don't know, I might be talking cr*p because I am not at goal and my head is still in the 'need to lose weight' mode. What I am learning though, is that maintenance is not going to be a walk in the park. Before now, I wasn't even worried about it... perhaps I should reconsider! Sorry if I blabbed on ...lol

Had a great fasting day... one meal about 7pm - steak and salad, so quite high cal - came in at just over 500 including my cups of tea! Feel rather happy that I lasted until the evening for a meal... I resisted any urge to graze and won the battle of head hunger. Coops 1 - Head hunger 0 ! Gotta get out of this bounce and back down and below 160... really want to see 15*. I think the bounce is Water retention again, cos my rings are feeling tighter than usual... But, saying that I am starting to feel really good in my skin.

Thanks Fiddleman... I will defo have a look at the links. Once I've got permission from my TT surgeon to get back to 'harder' exercises it might be something I will have a go at. Mt first port of call will be my boxing gym, boy I have missed that place! I'm also interested in the Insanity work out. My daughter does it in school and enjoys it, she's asked me to get it for her... so, I might join her! We'll see!

Hey GT - what is Body for Life and Strength for LIfe? A new approach to exercise? I'm fasting today - and I am gonna do it, regardless of what my tummy or head hunger say - my 'real brain' will win the battle today! Seen a big bounce and don't like it, I much prefer those smaller numbers....lol!

Not been great with food on my non fast days - Sat I drank a shed load of cider - but, as I predicted I danced like a fool! Great fun though. Yesterday I had a grazing day - no real meal, just crappy snacks! Didn't fast today - not in the right frame of mind, so my fast day will be tomorrow instead.

Don't forget.. you gotta keep on keeping on! When I get 5 I will check the book to see what it says about those who don't lose.

aw gutted official weigh day and I didn't see the magical 160! Never mind, fingers crossed for next week! Been to Curves again this morning - no problem doing it on an empty stomach still - starting to enjoy it a lot more now and I'm seeing the benefits! Feel 'tighter' if that makes sense. Bought some tops for holiday - had to get a size small cos the medium was hanging off me!! YEY! I know they are a 'baggy' style - bat winged - but still, a small is a small right! x

M2G, you know my kids are a little older, daughter is 15 and son is 13. They don't know about the sleeve per se but they do know that I can't eat a lot at any given time and they've learnt that, that is just what mam does. As for the fasting, the only way I could do it successfully is to tell them that I am not eating much - I don't go into amount of cals - I just say that twice a week I am only eating two small meals to try and lose more weight because I am still too heavy and I want to be fitter and healthier. Now, this has worked a treat. They understand on my 'fast day' that I don't eat much and they don't stress me about it or question it... sometimes I eat with them, sometimes I don't. It hasn't impacted on their eating habits at all... so, so far so good. In saying that, I haven't really told many people, including close friends what I am doing, cos they just wouldn't get it. If and when I ever shift all the extra weight that I want to and they start 'noticing' I will say it is a combination of exercise and being extra vigilant with calories... which, is exactly what the 5:2 is. It is the word 'fast' that people seem uncomfortable with!

Bouncing weight, I feel is really normal - for all, not just us sleevers... a friend of mine who never goes about 140 can bounce 7lbs at a time... so I try not to stress too much. I am now seeing a 'smaller' bounce on a daily basis, if that makes sense. Before this whole 5:2 I could vary in weight 2 -5 lbs in 24 hrs... now it is 1-3lb. This morning I saw 160 again, I hope it is the same in the morning cos that is my 'offical' weigh day... If the higher bounce occurs on any day apart from Sat, I am not too bothered... just keep my eye on it. But I would like to see 160 in the morning so that would make me offically at my lowest (apart from the once I saw it after my TT). Cheri... I am with you with the whole breaking through the number thing... but I think I have shown that it can be done... remember I was at 164 for soooo long I thought that, that would be it... then it went down and I haven't seen 164 for at least a week. I would love to see 11 stone 5lb which would make me 159lb - into the 150s... bloody hell! I haven't seen that number for nearly 20 years! keep on keep on ladies... we are doing GOOD!

end of my fast day - not been the best to be honest cal wise... defo over 500 but good cals if that makes sense. I'm not gonna sweat it though. Defo felt more hunger today, despite keeping myself busy; went to work and got done what I wanted to do; watered my dad's garden; went to Curves and tidied the house - nothing exciting really. Then had a relaxing evening watching TV with the hubby! Tomo I'm gonna be vigilant even though it isn't a fast day as I'm going to the pub Sat night for my friend's birthday - needless to say, I will drink a whole lot of cider! Probably dance like no one is looking though, so that is a bonus! Lets hope the scale isn't cruel to me...lol! Oh, nearly forgot - I was weighed and measured in Curves today and since the beg of June (near the start date of the 5:2 for me), I've lost 7lbs and 7 inches. I've reduced my body fat so all good. Currently, according to their 'system' I have a body fat percentage of 30 - which, I feel is too high... I am aiming for 24 regardless of what the scale reads! Wish me luck!

my fast day today - scales holding at 161 c'mon just 2lbs for the 150s! For those of you in a funk... roll with it for a little time. I felt exactly the same way a few weeks ago and I gave myself time to lick my wounds and then I bounced back! Hugs x

hahahaa...pixie.... love that! Best compliment I've had for ages! Big Brother! Is that the American or British version... I am addicted to it and have been since the first series years ago!

I felt the same way, but Monday was ok and I kept myself busy - working in the garden was a good distraction! On the plus side, being at home helps me get the Water in more than in work - easier access to the toilet! My fast day is tomo, but I'm actually going to school...lol... complete coincidence mind!

I think that translates to: we are jealous of you - you are a strong and independent woman who knows what she wants and knows what she like; we are intimadated by this and therefore will make judgments based on jack sh*T! What a bloody cheek! Who are they to even think such things... stealing husbands... if I were you, I would go on a mission to flirt my skinny arse off!!! Tell her, in no uncertain terms that she can jog on - or Coops will come over and sort them out!

Hey GT... good to see you, we had been wondering where you had gone. Sounds like you've had a frantic time and I'm sorry to hear about the health issues - I don't know what Hashimoto is? Good luck with getting back on the 5:2 - it has been good for me, and you know how similar our lack of weight loss has been over the last year plus. Fair play to Fiddleman and his wife for sending you the Protein poweder - that is really impressive! What brand is it? Keep checking in x

M2G - if it wasn't for you cheering me on, I think I might of given up by now - seriously, you really are a true friend. And yea, one day we'll have that cuppa! You know everything you've written is the same from my point of view too - you've shown the same determination and diligence. Thank you for being a great pal! x

Hey! Thanks for all the cheers... I appreciate them! M2G - yea, weird about the tooth ache, I haven't had that but the TOM & ketosis might be the cause. Strange for sure and I'm glad it has cleared up for you! Sounds like you are doing really well with the 5:2 so far and a 4lb loss is bloody awesome! Loving it! Cheri, sounds like you are going through the mill a little bit my lovely! I know I can't physically do anything to help, but you know I am sending you good vibes across the pond. FYE - lowest ever this year - whoop! That has to be a good feeling; NO! It is a good feeling. Georgia, you must be pleased with what you have achieved so far... I am sure you'll see the lower 150s really soon! Just look at what you have lost so far... the finishing post is almost in sight for you. Laura, love the fact that we have such similar stats - I'm still on the hunt for perfect jeans...lol! Bought a pair in the sales today and they were too small - BOO! But I now have something to work towards! Oregon - I bounced around all over the shop in the first few weeks - and yes, it is proper frustrating! It has only been the last week that my weight has dropped and not bounced! Stick with it, we'll get there together! Non fast day again today (Thurs is my next) not shaky today thankfully but the restriction is still there. Went out for lunch with hubby; a rare and unusual treat for us - we are taking advantage of our kids being away on holiday with my parents! Anyway, I can never finish a meal but seriously this was silly! I ordered steak (it came with chips, peas and half a tom) I ate about 6oz of the steak, literally 3 small chips, a few peas and the half tom and I was stuffed all day! Managed a late supper of a biscuit and low cal Protein bar! This is really weird, but I like the fact that food isn't ruling me again! I wonder if another non fast day will be the same? Keep up the good work... x