Ciara Patrice

I know I’m almost a week late! But I’m officially 7 months post op! Yay! I went on a cruise last week (November 6-13th) to San Juan, Puerto Rico, St. Thomas, and the Grand Turk. I managed to NOT gain any weight while I indulged in EVERY thing that looked delicious; though I wish I had worked out more than just two days while on this trip, I probably would’ve lost more weight… At my last check up with Dr DiCicco, I weighed 253lb, I think… well I’m down to 241lb, so I lost 12. He was upset last time that I had lost so little, but he was pleased with my progress; I’m basically 50lbs down and that’s halfway in his mind, so I’m on track! He was especially happy I managed to still lose weight while on a cruise. Like I said before I was doing a no carb/low carb diet… and I completely forgot what carbs were on this cruise. Of course I had plenty of empty calories as well with the alcoholic drinks and what not, but they served bread/dinner rolls EVERY day… and I indulged cause I LOVE my bread and butter, but towards the 4th day I had to start telling them no, because I was afraid it was going to RUIN me, LoL! I didn’t get a fill, as I still feel I have restriction, though I also feel I’m able to eat a little more than I could when I first started out with the 6.3cc; I’m thinking I’ll probably get a fill come next month; it should be a little looser by then. But I’m currently in a good spot at the moment. I had no PBs or stuck episodes while on my trip, which was a blessing! So we’ll see how things are looking come December. I don’t really have any NSVs this time around. I wasn’t down to the weight that I wanted to be come November (220lbs), but October’s NSVs made up for that. This month though I’m kinda upset. I’ve been tossing clothes out left and right because they don’t fit anymore. A lot of tops that I had to buy large because of my then extra large boobies look like they’re swallowing me now. Just recently I had to attend a funeral and I had a black suit that I had worn before but couldn’t even button the jacket (so I wore a nice blouse underneath). I put it on for this funeral at the end of October, and what do you know I can button the jacket and it looks ridiculously big on me, so I had to toss it!... I ended up wearing a dress that had been given to me by a friend (18/20); thank goodness for that. So, while on my cruise they have a Captain’s Ball, where everyone dresses up really nice (ball gowns and tuxes) … so I wore this pink strapless dress that I hadn’t worn since either 2008 or 2009, I can’t remember…. But long story short… I was pretty sure that when I tried the dress on prior to going on my cruise that it fit… it was loose but it fit. Well, I get on the cruise … it’s Ball night and I get my make up done and I pull the dress on, no girdle or nothing and it’s super loose! My strapless bra is showing in the back and I cant fill out the boob area anymore… I was so disgusted and upset. Mind you I got plenty of compliments because it’s a pretty dress. But I had to rig it and I wasn’t happy about that. I had to pinch one side under my arms to tighten it a little. And I also had to pin the front of the dress to my bra so the dress wouldn’t fall down. Again everyone thought I was flipping out for no reason because the dress came with a shawl and no one could see how I had pinned everything together, but I just wanted something to FIT! Everything is either too loose or still just a little too tight. But I won’t complain… I’ll take this as a blessing! At least its not like I brought a dress and it needed to be taken OUT in order for me to wear it!... Trying to look on the bright side of things! Even my bathing suit bottoms were kind of loose. Mind you it’s a maternity two piece swim suit… the top still fits pretty good, especially in the boob area, but the bottoms are getting loose…. Does that mean I’m LOSING my caboose?! J Anyway, I guess I thought of two NSVs… for Halloween, I was a “Modern Vampire” … meaning I put on regular clothes and bought some fake teeth and popped them in m mouth… it was fun… well, anyway, I wanted to be a sexy vampire of course, so I had my boobs out and drizzled with blood, and I had on some ripped fishnet stockings and heels and …. Drum roll please….. my sister gave me an old jean skirt size 16! Mind you it’s NOT a stretch jean material, so I was amazed when I could button it and everything. Again I say, it’s still tight, and I wouldn’t wear it out just yet, but it was Halloween, so it’s okay to look a little out of place… J Next, NSV is kinda of stupid I guess but I’m really weird about wearing my arms out… I NEVER under ANY circumstances wear my arms out unless I have something to cover them with… a shawl, a small jacket, sweater, half jacket; anything BUT bare! So while on my cruise, the last day, we docked in the Grand Turks right on the beach… so I wore my bathing suit and a really pretty sun dress of course it was sleeveless otherwise there wouldn’t be a point to this story! LoL! Anyway of course I wasn’t gonna wear a sweater on the beach, so I proudly stepped off the boat with my arms BARE! I even took a picture and to my surprise I didn’t throw the picture aside like I normally would because to me my arms just look fat and disgusting and if I don’t like how my arms look then I don’t like the picture… but this one… I liked and I was surprised at myself… for being more confident! Which brings me to my last paragraph I promise! LoL! I feel like I’ve gained confidence with my weight loss. Granted I’m still disgusted by the loose skin and flab hanging, but in clothes I can really see a difference and I see my self being more outgoing. For instance on the boat there was a 70s Dance Class…it was just for fun, but normally I wouldn’t have participated because I would’ve been thinking about how I looked dancing around like a fool, but I just let loose and I had a good time. And NEVER would I wear a bathing suit in public without shorts or a shirt on, well, while on this cruise I wore my bathing suit without a shirt or shorts while on the ship and off… I even laid out and tanned a little bit… LoL! I wish my weight loss was where I wanted it to be, but it seems I’m right on target… Losing weight…Dropping sizes.. And building up my self confidence! I’m IN LOVE with my BAND!

6 Months Post Op… Wow! Wow, I’m officially 6 months post op lap band and I’ve had more ups than downs and I’m still currently working my tool and happy. I don’t know where to begin?! Well, I went to my 6mo check up on Monday (10/10/11) and everything was good. I hadn’t lost any weight since I last weighed myself (251lbs), but I’d lost 5 pounds since seeing him, so he was pleased; he took into consideration that I lost 10 the last time… I didn’t get a fill, because at this time I feel I have good restriction and he said he didn’t want me TOO tight, which I agree. I’ve had the band only 6 months, PB’d just ONCE, so I feel I’m doing good. I still find myself making plates or sitting down to eat thinking “I can eat all this” and then after half the meal I’m pushing food around my plate. So, I know when to stop! I’m still trying to stay as close to no carbs as possible. I can’t lie, it’s been tough and I’ve slacked up a little, as far as a couple of chips (like when I went out for my sister’s birthday dinner and for appetizers we had chips and spinach dip—which was delicious) here and there. Still no bread, no rice… I LOVE mashed potatoes, so I definitely had some of those, though I wish I hadn’t, but it’s all good… ALL in moderation! I think I need to incorporate some type of fiber supplement or more fiber in my diet, because for the past few of days I’ve been constipated and I’m unsure as to why. I normally get constipated around that time of the month, but currently it’s NOT that time so I’m wondering what the EFF if going on! I haven’t resulted to a form of laxative just yet because I’m still trying to narrow down the problem. When I first started the no carb diet I had no issues with the restroom. I think I was even urinating MORE, so now I’m kinda confused as to what’s the issue. So I’m gonna try more fiber, maybe I’m not drinking enough water, then I’ll try that laxative as a last resort. Exercise is really become hard for me to get in. I know I’m the blame for this. I said I was going to at least TRY for 30 minutes a day EVERY day, but it’s turned into 30min every three days or whenever! I’m really not too happy with myself, I’m not even sure where I fell off the wagon (maybe all my NSVs?)… But I know that I won’t see that weight I was hoping to see come October 31st… But I’m happy I haven’t gained any weight… and my clothes are still falling off so…. MORE EXERCISE!!! Okay, now to the exciting stuff!!! So, my mom got me a new bra! It’s the Butterfly Bra by Jill Scott (LOVE her) which is sold at Ashley Stewart or online. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this bra and let me tell you why! I have back fat… I think besides my arms this is the one thing on my body I could do with out… honestly if they said I’ll take away two things so long as you stay fat, I’d say ok, make my arms look awesome and take away my back fat and you got a deal! I’d keep the stomach flabby thighs ALL day to get rid of this HEINOUS back fat!...SO these WONDERFUL bras make my back fat disappear!!!! I LOVE it! Whoever invented it, I want to hug them and cry on there shoulders! I mean I don’t remember when the last time was that I looked in a mirror and wasn’t disgusted that my shirt showed off my back fat! If I was wearing any other bra and pulled it down to cover my back rolls, then the fat under my arms would poke out, if I tried to tuck that in then the back fat came back out, it was a never ending battle with the bra strap! But I’m soooo happy I have this bra… if I could wear it EVERY day I would, but since I can’t (I only have one) I’m in the process of ordering another bra offline (all Ashley Stewarts are closed in my local area). Anyway other than the bra making my back look EFFING amazing! I’m also wearing a smaller size!!! So here’s the story. My mom was bragging about this Butterfly bra and told me to try hers on. So I try it on and I love it. Come to find out, it was like a 42D…. I have been wearing 44DD from Lane Bryant, was about to move into the 46’s because of the back fat, and here I am wearing a 42D and the cup is almost too big! So when I order another one, my mom is insisting I order a 38. And I’m like no way… I can’t fit a 38, but then I realize I’m in a 42 now… but I just don’t see it… I told her to order a 40.. But this was my first NSV of the month… I was so shocked, I mean I knew my boobies were getting smaller because I can see the loose skin when I’m laying in bed, but to actually put on this bra that I knew I would’ve been itching to get out of because it was too tight 6 months ago, amazes me! NEXT!!! I posted pictures showing my weight loss in my face. So hears the story… (LoL) … I was going through my phone and I saw a picture I took of myself back in March of this year (2011) and I have a touch screen phone, so I was just flicking through and I saw the picture, but then I saw one I took at the end of September (2011) and again I was flabbergasted! I could finally see what everyone else had been seeing! My cheeks were uber pudgy like no bodies business! And I couldn’t stop myself from flipping back and forth, like WOAH! Look at my damn cheeks! I have CHEEKBONES! So I posted four pictures, one from 2006, one from 2009, one from March the month before surgery and one from September… WOW… is all I can say! NEXT!!! So, not sure if you know this or not, but my pre-lapband self was all about JEANS. I LOVE my jeans, sweatpants, any kinda pants, I want to wear them, because I hate my fat legs, so I gots plenty of jeans! Welp, my 24s are definitely TOO big, my 22s make me look like I have no booty (which by the way is making it’s way out into the world), and my 20s are now getting loose as well! I wore a pair of jeans to my sister’s birthday dinner and my Dad mentions: Jeeze those jeans are about to fall off of you! I put on a pair of size 20 jeans shorts for a block party I was going to, and Mom says: Those look horrible on you, you look like you have no but at all! Needless to say I went home and changed… into my NEXT NSV!!! So, when I went home I put on a jean dress I bought before going out of town for my family reunion back in July. Now, when I wore it up in Atlanta I wore it with a girdle… I think it’s a size 20 or 22, but when I put it on this day I said, “it’s hot, I’m not wearing a girdle, I’m about to be outside so f*** it!”…. well I put that jean dress on and OMG it fit perfectly! It was loose in ALL the right places and it comes with a belt and I was able to tie the belt and STILL have a little slack in it… AGAIN I was amazed! Just a month ago, this dress was barely fitting I kept having to pull it down in the back (you know when your but makes everything ride up in the back) but this day the dress was PERFECT! MORE? Yes I have MORE! Soooo back in June (2011) I went to a luncheon with my grandmother and I wore a dress my mom gave me (size 20)… again I wore it with a girdle and it looked nice… it wasn’t tight to begin with, but I wore the girdle to smooth out my bumps and rolls… well I wore the same dress again in September with OUT a girdle and what do you know… it fit PERFECTLY!!! I had more than enough room… Again I was just amazed!!! Last clothing NSV I promise! J … I posted another “collage” of me in a black shirt. Now, here’s the story! (LoL) I bought this black shirt about two years ago (2009) and when I bought it… it was TIGHT. I remember my mom saying to me in the store… that’s gonna be tight. And I was like oh it’s ok, when I put my girdle on it’ll suck me in and even though the top buttons near the bust area won’t button, it’s ok cause I want my boobies out…. And BOY were there ever out there! So the last time I wore this shirt was in 2009 at my family reunion… I just remember always having to wear a girdle with it because the buttons would gape open in the front, I mean I even have safety pins in between buttons just to keep it closed! I sorta remember the day I threw the shirt to the side… I was going out and I put it on and just said “this is ridiculous I can’t wear this shirt with it bulging open like this and my girdle is dirty” so, I don’t know when, how, or where but I found this black shirt that I had basically thrown under the bus and forgot about completely because in my mind I couldn’t fit it anymore and I was embarrassed that I kept trying to wear it…. Well I put it on for my sister’s birthday dinner and I couldn’t believe how loose the shirt was on me! NO GIRDLE needed and the buttons at the top in the boob area that I couldn’t button when I FIRST bought the shirt…. I could button those now! I was just so shocked. I couldn’t believe it! I could even pull this shirt down over my butt now and before I remember wearing it with the girdle trying to keep pulling my shirt down because it was riding up and I didn’t want anyone to see the girdle, and now this shirt pulls past my butt almost!!! I sat in the car and told my friend about this, because believe it or not this was my favorite NSV… I loved that shirt even when it was too tight when I first bought it. I loved it because it showcased my best assets at the time which were my boobies…. And when I couldn’t wear it anymore, that’s when I knew I had really let myself go. I told her how I just stood in the mirror and couldn’t believe how f*cking huge I was. I just couldn’t believe I was walking around and no one said anything to me about how wide I was! I told her this and she laughed because I was smiling, but I’m very dramatic when telling a story in person (LoL) but she just smiled and said “ I’m so proud of you, you’re doing so good and you look great” but she just thought I was hilarious when I said that… but it was the truth… I could not believe how huge I was! I wish I had a picture of me in the shirt just to show how it didn’t cover my boobies AT ALL and to show how far down I was able to pull it.. I remember because I physically had to wear it, and just sitting here typing this I feel like I’m rambling and saying the same **** over and over again, but I was AMAZED it really blew me away… I wanted this month to be the month I got to a specific weight, but I’ve had so much more going on and so many NSVs that it makes up for it… This month, I also, cut my hair AGAIN… I love it! I told the people who asked me why I would cut my hair after it had grown out so well… I told them “cutting my hair is orgasmic” for me anyway… lol… I just love cutting it! And growing it back out! I also took some pictures with a photographer friend of mine… He had been asking to take picture of me since before surgery and I was like “NAH” cause I wanna look awesome, well after I cut my hair, I started feeling myself… maybe it was the short hair, or the weight loss, the loose fitting clothes, or the skinny face, but I decided to go ahead and do some pictures with the dude who’d been begging me since forever (I think he has a crush, lol) …. I’m SO happy with how the pictures turned out… I look like such a model if I can say so myself! LoL… I’ll post a couple of those… Did I miss anything? I had some SJP (Sarah Jessica Parker) Skinny Leg “Bitten” jeans in my closet (size 20) that I haven’t been able to wear since my mom gave them to me… these jeans are NOT stretch jeans and have NO slack in them! But they fit me NOW!!! NO GIRDLE!! WooHoo!! What else? …all of my 2x shirts (sleep shirts or just lounging) are getting too big! WooHoo! What else? My $140 pair of Dansko work shoes are getting big! I wore them to work the other day and they were flopping off my feet! CRAZY right?! My scrubs are getting way big like to the point I don’t even wanna wear them to work. But this is GOOD! Well, I think I’ve rambled for FAR too long… I didn’t drop weight on the scale, but I have much much much more to be happy about! I’m so proud of me and I can’t wait to move forward on my journey! I’m SO IN LOVE with Michaelangelo! I’ll never leave him and I don’t think I’ll let him leave me either!

Thanks! I'm looking at your blog riiiiiiight ... NOW!

Wow! Thanks...

Lol... Thanks

<BR><BR>You know I was thinking the same thing!! Because I feel like I was losing inches instead of pounds... and I heard that your muscles do swell or have fluid in them after strenuous work outs... not sure I could be reiterating this ALL wrong, but I think thats what it was... my thighs were killing me! and those are some big muscles regardless of size... right?