SmurfWhisperer

Iin the context of weight loss, I've been battling my weight since I was about 10 years old. It's a long story and one best suited for a therapists' couch (been there, going back soon), but to make a long story short, my weight issues originated with a triple whammy from having a single parent who worked 2 jobs most of my life:

1.) I had a lack of parental guidance when it came to making good food choices... having been on my own most of the time, I ate what I wanted, whenever I wanted because there was no one around to tell me I couldn't/shouldn't.

2.) Deep-seated emotional stress from being on my own all the time, which resulted in my coping with food; the only time I typically saw my mom was during dinner when she's stop home briefly between jobs. According to my therapist, I subconsciously equated food with happiness/satisfaction because of the association with getting precious time with my mom.

3.) When my mom was around, her guilt (and exhaustion) from leaving me alone so much lead her to indulge me in anything I asked for... which typically consisted of quick, effortless (for her) foods like pizza, subs, and McDonalds (a Big Mac and not one, but 2 large fries was a regular request of mine that she consistently allowed).

As a result, I've grown up with extremely poor, unhealthy eating habits and emotional coping mechanisms that, try as I might, I have been unable to overcome thus far.

I'm getting the lap band surgery because I think having a physical limitation in place may be just what I need to force permanent behavioral changes. I'm REALLY averse to the idea of throwing up or doing permanent internal damage, so I'm pretty sure avoiding both of those will be all the motivation I need to stay on the straight and narrow.

Anyway... that's where I am now. I'm sure I'll update this again once I've had the surgery and have progressed a bit in my journey.