don't beat yourself down that hard, the first step in your 12 step program you mentioned, or even any program, is "Denial" and you seem to pass to 2nd step which is "Acceptance" so you are doing good, only 10 steps to go (sorry, that is not funny), but at least you are making progress right?
You seem in pretty good condition in my personal point of view, but I am not going to lie to you either me losing 140lbs already makes total attitude change, I still have another 60 to go but at least we are making progress. Hope we can still exchange encouragement messages.
Ciao bella
p.s. and I am sure your hubby still in love with you, if you do this do it for the right reasons. Whatever those might be.