ravendays

Hello! I'm being banded on the 30th, 8 days. Im so excited, scared, terrified, overjoyed, and all that other stuff. I'm a mother of two girlies and I'm 28 yrs old. I was pregnant 3 years in a row from the time I turned 19 with only 2 months between pregnancies to recover. Frist pregnancy I was 19 so of course I figured my body would just bounce back (and from what I had heard with a nice set of boobs which 6 years after the last child...these ladies are not looking happy). Two months after my daughter was born I found out I was expecting another child. And then two months after the loss of my son I found we were expecting our 3rd and last child. So...needless to say I lost track of myself somewhere before I even knew who I was as an adult female. I am married but thanks to my physical baggage we seem to hit some rough times...because you are right about needing to love yourself. With love is respect and I dont respect this body. I realized about 3 weeks ago when I had a wild hair to step on the scale before thinking about my days off coming up and if the gym was something I wanted to tackle again after gaining back the weight I had previously lost....I was snapping at anyone who looked at me that day about nonsense, I wasnt laughing with my daughters or spending time with my husband (I work full time and lately it can be from 48-80 hrs a week so family time should mean a lot to me)....I got on the scale and saw I gained all the weight I spent 6 months working off back....I felt like all that work was for nothing, all those days in the gym for nothing. I looked in the bathroom mirror and realized I dont know who was staring back at me. Then it hit me hard...I dont have low self esteem, have No self esteem. I wanted to mentally hear "The Eye of The Tiger" song and go run and put on my gym clothing and run out the door straight to the gym and find myself just like I did time and time before (never lost more then 20 lbs before but i always saw hope)...not this time....nope no motivation. I wanted to cry to my husband and say "Help Me"...but there was nothing he could do. I was becoming the angry fat girl who hated herself and I didnt like my outside and my inside was rotting out. I went to the living room and called my co-worker who had the lapband done who referred me to her surgeon. My journey begins. I know the emotional termoil you are feeling. I know the loneliness you are feeling. I also understand how excited you are right now and how hopeful you must be. I'm glad you are taking control of your own life, and hopefully if you arent already you will soon be singing the Eye of the Tiger song

Im scheduled to be banded the 30th. I have a couple times thought about my age, 28, and how long I have been over weight, how long I have put into losing weight, and if I think this is a NEED and not a want. Am an all or nothing type. If I diet, then I diet fully and keep myself honest, if I dont diet then I dont make excuses and just explain im not in the zone to diet. I havent done any fad diets. I tried WW and then on my own. I have a gym membership and I pull my records to see my track record. I answer only to myself while dieting...its seriously a zone thing. Now my breaking point was I did lose 25 lbs, quit smoking for a year, put on 35 lbs (making me the largest I'd been after 3 pregnancies in my life), started smoking because I was depressed, lost 20 lbs, and while smoking I have put it back on. I'm a week out of surgery and Im done...I cant find the motivation to without help. I cant keep doing this the rest of my life. I need to be happy for me, my kids, my marriage, my career, and again for me. So no more smoking, no more yo-yo'ing around...no more excuses. I get the tool, and together (me and my tool) we get happy & healthy. One of the things I've done...I wrote a 3 paged typed journal that is every thought I have in my head about my weight. What I see when I look in the mirror, the difficulties my weight gives me daily (shortness of breath, cant shave my legs easily, cant paint my toenails without an unusual amount of effort, etc) and what I think of myself and how that effects people around me. I then saved it put it away. Two days letter I got it out and read it to myself, out loud, and cried...a lot. I cant say if you should get this done but I can say after I sat with myself and put my head on paper, weighted myself, gave myself a come to Jesus talk, and looked back on my efforts, and I made a call to schedule the purchase of what I hope will be my friend...Lapband.

I smoke. I have been trying to quit and I can give you a list of stressful issues, obsticles, and daily occurances that I have used to justify me smoking still. I am scheduled to be banded on the 30th...yep in 8 days. It scares the poopies outta me thinking of a harder recovery in post op so instead of saying I want to quit, Im goin to say I am quitting. I know its only 7 or 8 days out but I figure everyday smoke free is a better chance of no complications right? Wish me luck!

Too funny! I am getting banded on the 30th and I foresee myself doing what you did with your bacony cheeseburger only with chocolate about once a month LMBO. Thanks for sharing!

Yay! How exciting!

I TOTALLY understand! I have a cold right now...stuffy nose, pressure in me head, watery eyes, and cough...no fever. I contemplated same thing, if I should confess. Luckily I'm 8 days out But I do work the next 6 outta 7 of em on 12 hr graveyard shifts...so rest is not much of an option considering I also have 2 small children! But I'm praying and trying to do my best to rest up and kick this thing. I'm doing what you are...doing my best to kick the cooty booty and seeing where I'm at day before... I suggest not hiding it if it were even possible. Its just to risky. Recovery sounds like it can be rough so why make it a gaurantee painful recovery or turn from cold to worse cuz of infection. Hope you feel better!