EdmontonGal

I've been going over my blog entries and i realized that i have been so miserable and mopey.
i could barely stand myself.
 
Just looking back makes me realize that having been overly filled was such a huge mistake that affected me in ways i didn't even notice.
Its been 2 days since I had that Huge (to me anyways) unfill, and all the colors are brighter, the day is nicer, and my outlook is happier.
 
I actually had breakfast this morning.
Well, it was a small homemade tortilla, but to me that's a huge step forward.
I also had a steaming mug of Coffee, but that's nothing unusual.
 
Going to the gym seems like a good idea,
but
going to the beach with my dogs sounds way better!
Still going to run, just a nicer setting!

This weeks weigh-in: 172.2lbs - HELLS YES - 90lbs down!
I've been away for a few weeks so this is going to be a long one! SORRY ahead of time.
I had a realization about my band Saturday morning. The besties and I were headed out for a day of bridesmaid dress hunting (yes I know, less than a month away) after a late St. Patrick's Day night. I rolled out of bed and figured that we would hit up a drive-thru on the way since I felt kind of like death. I am a coffee fanatic! I neeeeed a cup of joe in the morning before I even open my eyes. My regular routine is to have a few sips before my shower and getting dressed and then I eat the same oatmeal type concoction every morning. Same time, same portion, same everything. I never have problems in the morning.
Since my last fill, I have had a few issues when I am on the road. Twice now, the Mr. and I have checked out of a hotel without coffee or breakfast and stopped in at McDonalds or Tim Hortons on the way since it is such a long drive home. We are in a hurry!!! Because I do not drink and eat with the bad, I have made the mistake of trying to eat first without the coffee. Things that would never get stuck, do. I couldn't figure it out and thought that it may be my band reacting to alcohol (for shame Jennifer, for shame). Well, this Saturday - BING!!! the light bulb came on after throwing up into a take out bag in the front seat of Sparms' new car while Mama G sat unfazed in the backseat. Totally embarrassing. They are both totally supportive and have really taken this journey with me but it sucked making them pull over to ditch my bag of slime. Then, it came to me - COFFEE LOOSENS MY BAND! I should not be eating anything solid in the morning until I have had a warmish liquid in there first. I have heard and read about this with many bandsters but never thought that it applied to me. Well, now I know. Over a year out of surgery and I am still learning and adapting to my ever-changing band!
Work is nuts!!! Wedding stuff is even more nuts and life seems to be whizzing by! We leave in 12 more sleeps. Both of our suitcases are packed, the passports are locked and loaded and my dry whiter-than-snow skin is just dying for some sunshine and some humidity! I get my hair done today too! I've never had my hair done by a real professional. I stop by at the local strip mall for a chop here and there and because I have curly hair, no one can ever tell that it is a shitty job. Not today friends. I am hitting up a real professional! I am going to wait to put up this post so that I can include a pic. I'm hoping for something natural looking.UPDATE- The trip to the salon was worth the head message alone! Really liking how soft it feels. He even straightened it too! I felt like a special lady all afternoon.

Over the last few weeks, the wedding odds and ends are being tied up. Saturday night, Sparms Bestie and I went to my Mom's house. Mom is a scrap-booker, card maker and crafter extraordinaire. We made gift tags for these gorgeous little ditties that we are sending home with guests: (this is not my photo, nor our guestbook).

Collectively, the tag dream was materialised! They turned out better than I ever expected. This proven by the fact that we used none of the things that I purchased specifically for them! Thanks Mom and Sparms!
Mama G Bestie braved make-up and underwear shopping with me. I have to admit, stores like that were really intimidating for me before. I don't wear make-up often at all. Partially because I have always purchased crap that I don't use more than once or twice. Mama G took me in to Seph*ra and wrangled a shop girl to test a bunch of powders on me.(Who wants sweat lip shiny wedding shots?) I would never insist on this alone. I would do my best to pick the one that I thought matched my colour and be done. After that trial, I know that I am completely clueless. I would assume that my skin was pink, not yellowish. What the hell do I know? Obviously nothing! Left the store with some great stuff and a little bit of an interest in make-up.
I always believed that I would never be able to buy something from "V*ctoria's S#cret".
Pssh, who cares? That place is STOOPID anyway! HMPH. Well, I hate to say it... I couldn't have been more wrong. These bras are like little silk memory foam pillows for the girls! The straps are made out of some kind of anti-slip material that feels like money on my skin! I was floored. I wanted one of everything!
Mama G stood beside me and was my courage. We had so much fun chatting and browsing that all anxiety went out the window. I flipped through the drawers looking for a white strapless for under my wedding dress. They didn't have it in white at the one location but I found the style that I wanted and they held it for me at another location. The next day, the Mister and I went to pick it up. The Mister totally enjoyed the store more than he would ever care to admit and he bought the bra and a bottle of a perfume that I had been raving about. It's called "BOMBSHELL". *cough* *cough* HELLS YEAH I AM! I am also a very lucky girl!
I love my friends and family... and they love me too... most of the time. lol.

This weeks weigh-in: 172.2lbs - HELLS YES - 90lbs down!
I've been away for a few weeks so this is going to be a long one! SORRY ahead of time.
I had a realization about my band Saturday morning. The besties and I were headed out for a day of bridesmaid dress hunting (yes I know, less than a month away) after a late St. Patrick's Day night. I rolled out of bed and figured that we would hit up a drive-thru on the way since I felt kind of like death. I am a coffee fanatic! I neeeeed a cup of joe in the morning before I even open my eyes. My regular routine is to have a few sips before my shower and getting dressed and then I eat the same oatmeal type concoction every morning. Same time, same portion, same everything. I never have problems in the morning.
Since my last fill, I have had a few issues when I am on the road. Twice now, the Mr. and I have checked out of a hotel without coffee or breakfast and stopped in at McDonalds or Tim Hortons on the way since it is such a long drive home. We are in a hurry!!! Because I do not drink and eat with the bad, I have made the mistake of trying to eat first without the coffee. Things that would never get stuck, do. I couldn't figure it out and thought that it may be my band reacting to alcohol (for shame Jennifer, for shame). Well, this Saturday - BING!!! the light bulb came on after throwing up into a take out bag in the front seat of Sparms' new car while Mama G sat unfazed in the backseat. Totally embarrassing. They are both totally supportive and have really taken this journey with me but it sucked making them pull over to ditch my bag of slime. Then, it came to me - COFFEE LOOSENS MY BAND! I should not be eating anything solid in the morning until I have had a warmish liquid in there first. I have heard and read about this with many bandsters but never thought that it applied to me. Well, now I know. Over a year out of surgery and I am still learning and adapting to my ever-changing band!
Work is nuts!!! Wedding stuff is even more nuts and life seems to be whizzing by! We leave in 12 more sleeps. Both of our suitcases are packed, the passports are locked and loaded and my dry whiter-than-snow skin is just dying for some sunshine and some humidity! I get my hair done today too! I've never had my hair done by a real professional. I stop by at the local strip mall for a chop here and there and because I have curly hair, no one can ever tell that it is a shitty job. Not today friends. I am hitting up a real professional! I am going to wait to put up this post so that I can include a pic. I'm hoping for something natural looking.UPDATE- The trip to the salon was worth the head message alone! Really liking how soft it feels. He even straightened it too! I felt like a special lady all afternoon.

Over the last few weeks, the wedding odds and ends are being tied up. Saturday night, Sparms Bestie and I went to my Mom's house. Mom is a scrap-booker, card maker and crafter extraordinaire. We made gift tags for these gorgeous little ditties that we are sending home with guests: (this is not my photo, nor our guestbook).

Collectively, the tag dream was materialised! They turned out better than I ever expected. This proven by the fact that we used none of the things that I purchased specifically for them! Thanks Mom and Sparms!
Mama G Bestie braved make-up and underwear shopping with me. I have to admit, stores like that were really intimidating for me before. I don't wear make-up often at all. Partially because I have always purchased crap that I don't use more than once or twice. Mama G took me in to Seph*ra and wrangled a shop girl to test a bunch of powders on me.(Who wants sweat lip shiny wedding shots?) I would never insist on this alone. I would do my best to pick the one that I thought matched my colour and be done. After that trial, I know that I am completely clueless. I would assume that my skin was pink, not yellowish. What the hell do I know? Obviously nothing! Left the store with some great stuff and a little bit of an interest in make-up.
I always believed that I would never be able to buy something from "V*ctoria's S#cret".
Pssh, who cares? That place is STOOPID anyway! HMPH. Well, I hate to say it... I couldn't have been more wrong. These bras are like little silk memory foam pillows for the girls! The straps are made out of some kind of anti-slip material that feels like money on my skin! I was floored. I wanted one of everything!
Mama G stood beside me and was my courage. We had so much fun chatting and browsing that all anxiety went out the window. I flipped through the drawers looking for a white strapless for under my wedding dress. They didn't have it in white at the one location but I found the style that I wanted and they held it for me at another location. The next day, the Mister and I went to pick it up. The Mister totally enjoyed the store more than he would ever care to admit and he bought the bra and a bottle of a perfume that I had been raving about. It's called "BOMBSHELL". *cough* *cough* HELLS YEAH I AM! I am also a very lucky girl!
I love my friends and family... and they love me too... most of the time. lol.

This weeks weigh in: 175.4lbs. Down .6lbs this week.
I went to a step class Friday. It kicked my ass and I loved every minute of it. Trying to use the toilet or climb stairs on Saturday SUCKED but it was that good good pain. I sweat my ass off through a tank and a t-shirt! GOOD STUFF! Phew!

Work has been crazy and although my daily eating habits are just fine despite being out for work dinners almost every week night for the last week and all of this week too. At one of the dinners, I tried a few bites of a hot dog A HOT DOG!!! I haven't had a hot dog in forever. It smelled horribly delicious at the table next to us and I wanted mine with mustard. Tons of mustard. I had a bite and it was all good. Not quite what I imagined it to taste like but I settled on the compromise that since it was not a 10 out of 10, I would only have a few small bites and leave it alone. Well, I did have a few small bites while keeping up the conversation with a few folks. I must have been distracted because on my 3rd bite, about an 1/8th of the way in to this guilty pleasure, I felt a funny swallow. It was too big. I was going to get stuck at a work dinner. FABO!
I quietly (couldn't talk) excused myself, went straight to the bathroom and was horrified to see 5 little girls playing around in and out of the 2 stalls. There was a line up! I could not imagine letting these innocent little darlings watch me lose my lunch into the garbage can, but it was coming. I couldn't open my mouth to tell them to hurry or get out of the way... so I waited swallowing hard, rocking the cold sweat and pacing. Finally, they left and I went straight in to the stall and effortlessly just spat it right out. Not to go in to TMI but this piece of hot dog that was causing all of this, was the size of a small pea. My vitamins are bigger than this. WTF? Lesson learned. Farewell hot dogs... I will miss you but my ass will not. Apparently, I have tricked myself in to believing that they taste a whole lot better than they really do.
This weekend the hubby and I are hitting the slopes at Marmot Basin. A whole weekend away together... alone! I don't know if we have ever done this. I am really excited about us being able to share another hobby! I love the Rocky Mountains and I love Jasper, Alberta almost as much as I love the ocean. There is something to be said about a heard of elk greeting you at your door in the morning and the surrounding views of the Rocky Mountains. When I was younger I used to dream about building my own little cabin way up there in the bush with a zip line just for me to take my trips to town for supplies. Although I still love the idea, I know that I would never survive! lol.
I love the outdoors and am so fortunate to live where I do. The promise of this will get me through this week!

Check out one of the Travel Alberta Commercials:

If anyone ever wants to come visit Canada for a BOOBS tour - let me know! lol. Sadly, I will not be making Chicago this year. I had hoped to but with the wedding in April (38 days until departure to be exact) and an awesome week-long road-trip with the Besties to Vancouver Island in July, I won't be able to afford it. It doesn't help that September is black out month for all of the field executives at work either. Maybe 2013!
More news; My Mom had decided to have Bypass surgery in May after the Mexico trip. She has started a blog and when she figures out how to send me a link, I will share it with you all. I am really excited for her and she has worked really hard at all of this for a while now. She is down 30ish lbs so far and I only see her working harder and harder. Allot of the work has been on her own and she has even been trying to motivate some of the girls that she has met through different nutrition and psych classes that she has attended. I am proud of her and cannot wait for her to tap in to the wonderful world of support in blogland! Stay tuned!
Take Care all and please keep your fingers crossed for me to escape the weekend without injury!

Here is my story from start to finish. There are 2 videos and some pics that show the end result. The last video is being filmed right now for a Lap Band special coming to the Health Channel. Here are the links:
 

 

 
Then check out the pics!
You are on the right track with this procedure in my experience. Your life will be so much better...
 
Good luck with your new adventure!
Todd

Hello Blog Land! I've missed you so. Its been weeks since my last confession blog. Before Christmas I weighed in at 178lbs. This morning I weighed in at 177.2lbs. Yesterday I celebrated my 1 year bandiversary. It has been tough but easy, emotional but encouraging and certainly up and down, roundabout journey! I wouldn't change a thing. I am satisfied with my progress with eating and exercising. Coming to terms with the denial that I was living in has been tough but if there is anyway to sum it up: **** happened - not happens. I am in control of me and my choices. Bring it on! Maybe in 2012 I will hit the 100lbs lost mark. If not, I am cool with whatever happens as long as I continue to challenge myself, get more fit and never look back!
 
I have attempted to blog a few times over the last few weeks so bear with me as I compile them all here and start with a clean new slate in 2012 and start my 2nd year of being banded.
 
Things over the Holidays were a little nutty but fantastic nonetheless. I spent time with family and had the Mother-In-Law staying with us for a few weeks too. All in all I have to say that I did pretty good over the holidays. New Years Day breakfast consisted of nachos that I didn't fire off for the party we hosted for our friends and framily but that was a small blip in the radar. I did have a few too many drinks the one night but kept the snacking and drinking to a minimal over the Holidays. The biggest difference for me was the way I piled my plate at the festive meals. All of what seemed like 10 of them! I did take more then I intended to eat. I would say that on average, my meals were less than half of the size that they were last year. I was left feeling like I didn't really put in allot of effort to make this happen and totally reassured that I have made some concrete lifestyle changes that really are just natural to me now. It has gotten easier and I hope that it will continue to happen until I get to where I want to be. I still have no restriction.

AWKWARD FRAMILY PHOTOS! I love my besties!
Looking back on 2011, I really am so proud of the NSV's and the SV's! I started 2011 @ 222lbs. In all, I lost 44lbs last year and 85lbs in total. Here are some of my fav NSV's from 2011.

I can sit comfortably in a plane seat with a dangling seat-belt!
Usually every time we go to Newfoundland, I like to take a hike at Cape Spear. The furthest Eastern Part of North America. Many times I would stop halfway to the lighthouse to catch my breathe or baby my burning legs from the hike. This year, I jogged part way up and finished the rest of the hike without a single wheeze! I felt like I could have easily done it again... and again. lol
I have gone from a size 20 jean to a 12/10.
I finally got my vessel (body) gussied up with a completed ladies of the family tribute tattoo on my arm. I will actually wear sleeveless tops these days despite my wrinkly batwings.
I can hold a plank for 60 seconds! A long time goal that I met in 2011.
I can shop for clothing at the regular size stores. H&M, Espirit, MEXX... A far cry from the frumpy florals at Addition Elle and Penningtons!
I bought a pair of mid-calf high boots. My calves have NEVER fit in to cute boots! Still not in to the knee high boots yet but I feel that they lead people to believe that you have some sass. I am not ready to let people in on that yet. lol. Ladies who rock them, I envy you! They look great with your cute little jeans all tucked in! A goal for 2012.

So much to be thankful for! 2011 brought me a husband! Okay fine, I've had him for 8 years but now that it is official, there is a sort of "honeymoon" stage that came along with the wedding. The "honeymoon" stage in my world is coming home to an empty dishwasher and sometimes even a crumbless counter. WOOT WOOT!
I finally am feeling like our home is homey. When we moved in to the 4 bedroom house from the 600 sq/ft condo it was really empty and echoey here. It felt cold and sanitary. ICK. I painted the kitchen last January and with some additions of plants, art and us finally adding some shelves and accessories to the bedroom, I am pretty darn comfy here!
 
I did attempt to get back to blogging last week and started with this:
2012 has started on a rough note. My 90 year old Grandfather had his leg amputated on December 30th due to complications from diabetes. He has been fighting this disease and the associated complications for many many years. His fight was a major reason that I started my WL journey. Because of his age he was not put out. He was given an epidural of sorts and remained awake while they removed his right leg just below the knee. Our entire family packed the hospital waiting room and banded together to support him and the tough decision that he had made. We waited a couple of hours and were met by the surgeon to inform us that he had made it through surgery like a champion! We all took turns going on to visit him after the surgery and when my sister and I got our chance we didn't hold back. My Grandfather is a sweet, gentle giant. I swear, his index finger is the size of a banana! Okay, not that big... and really he isn't that tall when I come to think of it. Regardless, he always seemed like a giant to me. Anyway, he is TOUGH. Tough as nails. After surgery, my sister and I wanted to congratulate him for being so tough. He tried to argue with us as he cried, mourning the loss of his leg and the normal appearance that he has had for 90 years. All I could tell him was that after being married to my Grandmother for 65 years, he is tough! He laughed. We hugged him and told him how proud of him we were and left the hospital feeling confident that he would pull through. 2 days later, pneumonia set in. His speech started to slur. We suspected mini strokes that were never confirmed. Slowly, as they removed a direct line for pain from his stump and pushed med after med to deal with constipation, pain and infection his health declined. Yesterday morning, after spending the extremely rough night with him (my sobbing-self and incredible Aunt stayed all night) my Grandmother came to spend the day (like everyday since) beside his bed holding his hand. All she could do yesterday was hold him and cry. Through my own tears, I tried to picture them on their wedding day. Holding each others same hands as they were now. Did they ever think about the things that they would go through together. Did they know that they would face challenges like this? Did my Grandmother know that she would have to live without him one day? Or did they both deny it to themselves? Now, being newly married myself, I got home late from a work meeting last night and crawled in to bed with the fast asleep Mister. All I could think about when I looked at him was a whirl of life. What would it look like for us and would I be holding his hand like my Grandmother held my Grandfathers this morning one day? Would I have to live without him or vice versa one day? Without a doubt, I know that my Mister is the one for me and that all of these things, good and bad, are coming for us. I am not afraid... as long as I can hold his hand.
 
Grandpa has gone back to our hometown hospital late last night via ambulance. He has been unresponsive since he arrived but he is comfortably resting and not in pain.
 
A few hours after I wrote this I closed it and headed off to an evening meeting. While I was at work the hubby got the call from my Dad. He waited for me to get settled in at home and to have a little snuggle session (I had been go go go without time for this fav pastime with my man over the last few weeks) before he told me that my Grandfather had passed away. I was relieved. I was sad. I was worried about my Grandmother and my Dad and the rest of our family that depended on our patriarch to bond the family with a gentle noble mischievous hand. We will miss him terribly.

 
Celebrating the 64th Anniversary - May 2011
 
 
I am promising myself for 2012 that I will not put off until tomorrow, what can be done today (except for work). I will try to do all of the things that I want to do and do nothing that I don't want to do. I will try to keep the big picture in my mind through all that I do. I will continue on with my healthy lifestyle. Mind, Body and Spirit.
 
Love life peeps!
 

Hello Blog Land! I've missed you so. Its been weeks since my last confession blog. Before Christmas I weighed in at 178lbs. This morning I weighed in at 177.2lbs. Yesterday I celebrated my 1 year bandiversary. It has been tough but easy, emotional but encouraging and certainly up and down, roundabout journey! I wouldn't change a thing. I am satisfied with my progress with eating and exercising. Coming to terms with the denial that I was living in has been tough but if there is anyway to sum it up: **** happened - not happens. I am in control of me and my choices. Bring it on! Maybe in 2012 I will hit the 100lbs lost mark. If not, I am cool with whatever happens as long as I continue to challenge myself, get more fit and never look back!
 
I have attempted to blog a few times over the last few weeks so bear with me as I compile them all here and start with a clean new slate in 2012 and start my 2nd year of being banded.
 
Things over the Holidays were a little nutty but fantastic nonetheless. I spent time with family and had the Mother-In-Law staying with us for a few weeks too. All in all I have to say that I did pretty good over the holidays. New Years Day breakfast consisted of nachos that I didn't fire off for the party we hosted for our friends and framily but that was a small blip in the radar. I did have a few too many drinks the one night but kept the snacking and drinking to a minimal over the Holidays. The biggest difference for me was the way I piled my plate at the festive meals. All of what seemed like 10 of them! I did take more then I intended to eat. I would say that on average, my meals were less than half of the size that they were last year. I was left feeling like I didn't really put in allot of effort to make this happen and totally reassured that I have made some concrete lifestyle changes that really are just natural to me now. It has gotten easier and I hope that it will continue to happen until I get to where I want to be. I still have no restriction.

AWKWARD FRAMILY PHOTOS! I love my besties!
Looking back on 2011, I really am so proud of the NSV's and the SV's! I started 2011 @ 222lbs. In all, I lost 44lbs last year and 85lbs in total. Here are some of my fav NSV's from 2011.

I can sit comfortably in a plane seat with a dangling seat-belt!
Usually every time we go to Newfoundland, I like to take a hike at Cape Spear. The furthest Eastern Part of North America. Many times I would stop halfway to the lighthouse to catch my breathe or baby my burning legs from the hike. This year, I jogged part way up and finished the rest of the hike without a single wheeze! I felt like I could have easily done it again... and again. lol
I have gone from a size 20 jean to a 12/10.
I finally got my vessel (body) gussied up with a completed ladies of the family tribute tattoo on my arm. I will actually wear sleeveless tops these days despite my wrinkly batwings.
I can hold a plank for 60 seconds! A long time goal that I met in 2011.
I can shop for clothing at the regular size stores. H&M, Espirit, MEXX... A far cry from the frumpy florals at Addition Elle and Penningtons!
I bought a pair of mid-calf high boots. My calves have NEVER fit in to cute boots! Still not in to the knee high boots yet but I feel that they lead people to believe that you have some sass. I am not ready to let people in on that yet. lol. Ladies who rock them, I envy you! They look great with your cute little jeans all tucked in! A goal for 2012.

So much to be thankful for! 2011 brought me a husband! Okay fine, I've had him for 8 years but now that it is official, there is a sort of "honeymoon" stage that came along with the wedding. The "honeymoon" stage in my world is coming home to an empty dishwasher and sometimes even a crumbless counter. WOOT WOOT!
I finally am feeling like our home is homey. When we moved in to the 4 bedroom house from the 600 sq/ft condo it was really empty and echoey here. It felt cold and sanitary. ICK. I painted the kitchen last January and with some additions of plants, art and us finally adding some shelves and accessories to the bedroom, I am pretty darn comfy here!
 
I did attempt to get back to blogging last week and started with this:
2012 has started on a rough note. My 90 year old Grandfather had his leg amputated on December 30th due to complications from diabetes. He has been fighting this disease and the associated complications for many many years. His fight was a major reason that I started my WL journey. Because of his age he was not put out. He was given an epidural of sorts and remained awake while they removed his right leg just below the knee. Our entire family packed the hospital waiting room and banded together to support him and the tough decision that he had made. We waited a couple of hours and were met by the surgeon to inform us that he had made it through surgery like a champion! We all took turns going on to visit him after the surgery and when my sister and I got our chance we didn't hold back. My Grandfather is a sweet, gentle giant. I swear, his index finger is the size of a banana! Okay, not that big... and really he isn't that tall when I come to think of it. Regardless, he always seemed like a giant to me. Anyway, he is TOUGH. Tough as nails. After surgery, my sister and I wanted to congratulate him for being so tough. He tried to argue with us as he cried, mourning the loss of his leg and the normal appearance that he has had for 90 years. All I could tell him was that after being married to my Grandmother for 65 years, he is tough! He laughed. We hugged him and told him how proud of him we were and left the hospital feeling confident that he would pull through. 2 days later, pneumonia set in. His speech started to slur. We suspected mini strokes that were never confirmed. Slowly, as they removed a direct line for pain from his stump and pushed med after med to deal with constipation, pain and infection his health declined. Yesterday morning, after spending the extremely rough night with him (my sobbing-self and incredible Aunt stayed all night) my Grandmother came to spend the day (like everyday since) beside his bed holding his hand. All she could do yesterday was hold him and cry. Through my own tears, I tried to picture them on their wedding day. Holding each others same hands as they were now. Did they ever think about the things that they would go through together. Did they know that they would face challenges like this? Did my Grandmother know that she would have to live without him one day? Or did they both deny it to themselves? Now, being newly married myself, I got home late from a work meeting last night and crawled in to bed with the fast asleep Mister. All I could think about when I looked at him was a whirl of life. What would it look like for us and would I be holding his hand like my Grandmother held my Grandfathers this morning one day? Would I have to live without him or vice versa one day? Without a doubt, I know that my Mister is the one for me and that all of these things, good and bad, are coming for us. I am not afraid... as long as I can hold his hand.
 
Grandpa has gone back to our hometown hospital late last night via ambulance. He has been unresponsive since he arrived but he is comfortably resting and not in pain.
 
A few hours after I wrote this I closed it and headed off to an evening meeting. While I was at work the hubby got the call from my Dad. He waited for me to get settled in at home and to have a little snuggle session (I had been go go go without time for this fav pastime with my man over the last few weeks) before he told me that my Grandfather had passed away. I was relieved. I was sad. I was worried about my Grandmother and my Dad and the rest of our family that depended on our patriarch to bond the family with a gentle noble mischievous hand. We will miss him terribly.

 
Celebrating the 64th Anniversary - May 2011
 
 
I am promising myself for 2012 that I will not put off until tomorrow, what can be done today (except for work). I will try to do all of the things that I want to do and do nothing that I don't want to do. I will try to keep the big picture in my mind through all that I do. I will continue on with my healthy lifestyle. Mind, Body and Spirit.
 
Love life peeps!
 

Hello Blog Land! I've missed you so. Its been weeks since my last confession blog. Before Christmas I weighed in at 178lbs. This morning I weighed in at 177.2lbs. Yesterday I celebrated my 1 year bandiversary. It has been tough but easy, emotional but encouraging and certainly up and down, roundabout journey! I wouldn't change a thing. I am satisfied with my progress with eating and exercising. Coming to terms with the denial that I was living in has been tough but if there is anyway to sum it up: **** happened - not happens. I am in control of me and my choices. Bring it on! Maybe in 2012 I will hit the 100lbs lost mark. If not, I am cool with whatever happens as long as I continue to challenge myself, get more fit and never look back!
 
I have attempted to blog a few times over the last few weeks so bear with me as I compile them all here and start with a clean new slate in 2012 and start my 2nd year of being banded.
 
Things over the Holidays were a little nutty but fantastic nonetheless. I spent time with family and had the Mother-In-Law staying with us for a few weeks too. All in all I have to say that I did pretty good over the holidays. New Years Day breakfast consisted of nachos that I didn't fire off for the party we hosted for our friends and framily but that was a small blip in the radar. I did have a few too many drinks the one night but kept the snacking and drinking to a minimal over the Holidays. The biggest difference for me was the way I piled my plate at the festive meals. All of what seemed like 10 of them! I did take more then I intended to eat. I would say that on average, my meals were less than half of the size that they were last year. I was left feeling like I didn't really put in allot of effort to make this happen and totally reassured that I have made some concrete lifestyle changes that really are just natural to me now. It has gotten easier and I hope that it will continue to happen until I get to where I want to be. I still have no restriction.

AWKWARD FRAMILY PHOTOS! I love my besties!
Looking back on 2011, I really am so proud of the NSV's and the SV's! I started 2011 @ 222lbs. In all, I lost 44lbs last year and 85lbs in total. Here are some of my fav NSV's from 2011.

I can sit comfortably in a plane seat with a dangling seat-belt!
Usually every time we go to Newfoundland, I like to take a hike at Cape Spear. The furthest Eastern Part of North America. Many times I would stop halfway to the lighthouse to catch my breathe or baby my burning legs from the hike. This year, I jogged part way up and finished the rest of the hike without a single wheeze! I felt like I could have easily done it again... and again. lol
I have gone from a size 20 jean to a 12/10.
I finally got my vessel (body) gussied up with a completed ladies of the family tribute tattoo on my arm. I will actually wear sleeveless tops these days despite my wrinkly batwings.
I can hold a plank for 60 seconds! A long time goal that I met in 2011.
I can shop for clothing at the regular size stores. H&M, Espirit, MEXX... A far cry from the frumpy florals at Addition Elle and Penningtons!
I bought a pair of mid-calf high boots. My calves have NEVER fit in to cute boots! Still not in to the knee high boots yet but I feel that they lead people to believe that you have some sass. I am not ready to let people in on that yet. lol. Ladies who rock them, I envy you! They look great with your cute little jeans all tucked in! A goal for 2012.

So much to be thankful for! 2011 brought me a husband! Okay fine, I've had him for 8 years but now that it is official, there is a sort of "honeymoon" stage that came along with the wedding. The "honeymoon" stage in my world is coming home to an empty dishwasher and sometimes even a crumbless counter. WOOT WOOT!
I finally am feeling like our home is homey. When we moved in to the 4 bedroom house from the 600 sq/ft condo it was really empty and echoey here. It felt cold and sanitary. ICK. I painted the kitchen last January and with some additions of plants, art and us finally adding some shelves and accessories to the bedroom, I am pretty darn comfy here!
 
I did attempt to get back to blogging last week and started with this:
2012 has started on a rough note. My 90 year old Grandfather had his leg amputated on December 30th due to complications from diabetes. He has been fighting this disease and the associated complications for many many years. His fight was a major reason that I started my WL journey. Because of his age he was not put out. He was given an epidural of sorts and remained awake while they removed his right leg just below the knee. Our entire family packed the hospital waiting room and banded together to support him and the tough decision that he had made. We waited a couple of hours and were met by the surgeon to inform us that he had made it through surgery like a champion! We all took turns going on to visit him after the surgery and when my sister and I got our chance we didn't hold back. My Grandfather is a sweet, gentle giant. I swear, his index finger is the size of a banana! Okay, not that big... and really he isn't that tall when I come to think of it. Regardless, he always seemed like a giant to me. Anyway, he is TOUGH. Tough as nails. After surgery, my sister and I wanted to congratulate him for being so tough. He tried to argue with us as he cried, mourning the loss of his leg and the normal appearance that he has had for 90 years. All I could tell him was that after being married to my Grandmother for 65 years, he is tough! He laughed. We hugged him and told him how proud of him we were and left the hospital feeling confident that he would pull through. 2 days later, pneumonia set in. His speech started to slur. We suspected mini strokes that were never confirmed. Slowly, as they removed a direct line for pain from his stump and pushed med after med to deal with constipation, pain and infection his health declined. Yesterday morning, after spending the extremely rough night with him (my sobbing-self and incredible Aunt stayed all night) my Grandmother came to spend the day (like everyday since) beside his bed holding his hand. All she could do yesterday was hold him and cry. Through my own tears, I tried to picture them on their wedding day. Holding each others same hands as they were now. Did they ever think about the things that they would go through together. Did they know that they would face challenges like this? Did my Grandmother know that she would have to live without him one day? Or did they both deny it to themselves? Now, being newly married myself, I got home late from a work meeting last night and crawled in to bed with the fast asleep Mister. All I could think about when I looked at him was a whirl of life. What would it look like for us and would I be holding his hand like my Grandmother held my Grandfathers this morning one day? Would I have to live without him or vice versa one day? Without a doubt, I know that my Mister is the one for me and that all of these things, good and bad, are coming for us. I am not afraid... as long as I can hold his hand.
 
Grandpa has gone back to our hometown hospital late last night via ambulance. He has been unresponsive since he arrived but he is comfortably resting and not in pain.
 
A few hours after I wrote this I closed it and headed off to an evening meeting. While I was at work the hubby got the call from my Dad. He waited for me to get settled in at home and to have a little snuggle session (I had been go go go without time for this fav pastime with my man over the last few weeks) before he told me that my Grandfather had passed away. I was relieved. I was sad. I was worried about my Grandmother and my Dad and the rest of our family that depended on our patriarch to bond the family with a gentle noble mischievous hand. We will miss him terribly.

 
Celebrating the 64th Anniversary - May 2011
 
 
I am promising myself for 2012 that I will not put off until tomorrow, what can be done today (except for work). I will try to do all of the things that I want to do and do nothing that I don't want to do. I will try to keep the big picture in my mind through all that I do. I will continue on with my healthy lifestyle. Mind, Body and Spirit.
 
Love life peeps!
 

Happy Tuesday! I weighed in at 189.4lbs this week. Last week was 191.6lbs. 2.2lbs down! I'll take it! A grand total of 72.6lbs since the beginning and 34.6lbs since surgery. I am at about 40% of my excess weight lost!!!! 10 more lbs until I am no longer considered obese and just overweight. Wow!!!
I feel great these days! I am exercising regularly, eating decently and have had some really great things going on in my life! I have been camping allot (even in the snow) with one last trip (filled with sunshine, fingers crossed) planned for this weekend. Then, back to spending weekends at work. BOO HISSSS!
 
I am a little lost for post content this week and with the slowed weight loss lately, I have been reminding myself of all the non-scale victories for a while. They are my motivation and I hope you all can relate and look forward to some of them yourselves!
 
1. I've mentioned this before but I am still in awe that I can cross my legs comfortably. I do this ALL of the time now. It's just how I sit.
2. I have a lap. A big enough lap that 2 dogs can sit on it. (see below) I can hold a plate on my lap while I eat and I can have my nephews sit on my lap without holding on to them for dear life!



3. I can wear a sleeveless shirt without being sooooooo self-conscious. I am self-conscious, don't get me wrong but before I was so unbelievably self-conscious about my stretch mark speckled, sun-starved arm-a-jello. (AKA - bat flaps, Oprah arms, bingo wings, Hi Helen's, ham hocks, flubbows... you name it!) Now, I can wear a sleeveless tank or workout top and feel okay... more than okay. Almost...comfortable. I will continue to work on this one!



4. Shopping in the "regular" sized racks. 2 pairs of shorts and 2 pairs of capris in 14's!!! I was a Size 20-22 when I started. I still have yet to pick up any real hot trendy stuff. I look, I try on, I love, I come to my freaking senses. I am not a fashionista... I am a Canadian Tom Boy!
5. I can run.. I can walk... I actually like to do these things. I can kick ass on my elliptical, I can climb mountains, I can do anything! My confidence in myself has grown by 3 times!!! Maybe even 5!
 
I didn't know if I could do any of this when I started this journey. I didn't know if I would lose. If I did lose, could I keep it off? Would it always be as hard as it was in the beginning. If I failed, would I just give up?
 
I can do this. I am doing this and I will keep doing this. Things are not EASY now but they are not as hard as they were in the beginning. I hope things continue to go smoothly and that I continue to grow, challenge myself and love myself.
 
Don't be fooled folks, I do have bad days! I just don't share them because I feel like we all have enough of them! I want to share the successes and motivation that have helped me on my way! Baby steps!
 
I also want to take a second in this post to give a shout out to my followers. Family, Framily, Friends and Strangers, THANK YOU for your support!
[/url]


Cheers!
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Surgery was Tuesday. I got home from hospital Wednesday. By Friday I was drove nutty.
My lady friends MamaG and Bestie were available Friday night.
MamaG was home alone with hubby away at work and Bestie had gone over to the GTeam Headquarters to help get the 2 babes to bed so that the three of us gals could have a movie night. It sounded wonderful!
This was the first time I had a chance to recount the whole surgery experience with my ladies and let me tell you, NO conversation EVER has ANY holds barred! We didnt even get to the movie. The ladies made me laugh way too much and way too hard but it was great to be out and catching up and feeling normal!
I shared all the gritty details of my surgery, my worries about the surgery, thier worries about it and EVERYTHING else.
I got home at MIDNIGHT and snuggled in to bed, sore but in fantastic spirits. Thank Goodness for friends!
 
Today was my Grandfather's 90th Birthday party. We drove the 2 hours each way to my hometown to be there. There was about 90 people present including all of my Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Siblings, Nieces and Nephews. Without ANY intention, I fessed up to most of the very important people in my life. I couldn't stay all day, it was a little too much for me 4 days after surgery but I did my best to soak up every minute with them all. I felt badly for not being able to stay the whole day and it just came out, naturally.
 
I had been so nervous about telling anyone really except for the 5 most important people in my life. I was determined not to tell them and open myself up to judgement and feedback of anyone. EVERY response was positive. Everyone had noticed how much hard work I had done in the last year to get to where I was before surgery and EVERYONE congratulated me on my past success and my future success. I left feeling tired, but so much stronger without the weight of keeping something so huge in my life from these people who were such a huge part of my life!
 
All in all, a great day 4 and 5. I'm still experiencing gas pains in my shoulders, my incisions are tender from all of the ghing over the last few days and I am having a super hard time getting my protein quota in daily BUT it will only get better!
 
Take care all! Celebrate all successes BIG AND SMALL!