bugwitch

So, I just finished my two final exams and I am pretty sure I failed them. No, don't give me any of that, "It's better than you think" crap. I know my own abilities and I know what just happened...and what just happened was one big steaming pile of sh!t. For each exam, my brain and body were just empty. I felt like I couldn't understand what the questions were asking. I felt so lost. During the second exam, I couldn't focus at all and found my mind wandering between pondering the questions, starting to panic about finding a job because I won't be passing this quarter, and not having the money to pay for surgery next week because I'll have to save it for rent!...assuming I can even pay rent to begin with. I'm really lost right now. I titled this blog post 'Empty' because that is kind of how I feel. My mind is empty. My body feels empty. I just feel like there's nothing left and I can't figure out why the hell I even decided to do this whole graduate school thing to begin with. If I didn't have to hang around for the class I TA for to take their exam, I would be home right now, curled up with my cats. That's the only place I want to be at the moment.

Increase your calorie intake for a couple of weeks. Then go back to normal. Keep your exercise level about the same.

SN.........................Starting Wt........Current........Goal.......Lbs to Goal bugwitch...............285...................281.2...............255................26.2 So, I've been having a couple pretty awful days food-wise. Trying to snap out of it, but it's slow going. Gotta stop letting crap get me down. Surgery is in 8 days, I fly out a week from today.

Hey...tequila and vodka are Clear liquids.... Yes, as mentioned above, empty calories, diuretic, wakka wakka wakka. I've also heard from others that they get drunk WAY quicker then before having surgery.

Here's the kicker for ya'... What it everything is just fine?

Ack...am I the only one going to Dr. Aceves on the 21rst?

21 March with Dr. Aceves

I am going to Mexico for two reasons: 1) Self-Pay. My insurance will not cover it, so I gotta go where I can use my own money. 2) The doctors in Mexico (and Europe, etc) have been doing these procedures far longer and have much more experience than the ones here in the States.

Okay...back from a rather stressful weekend of moving a sick friend into a new apartment. Crazy, crazy crazy. SN.........................Starting Wt........Current........Goal.......Lbs to Goal bugwitch...............285...................281.6...............255................26.6

Seriously...I understand that you are simply unable to eat that much after having surgery, but eventually when the stomach has healed you're expected to only eat 1200 calories? Any nutritionist will tell you that 1200 calories is not enough for the average person (not average as in average = overweight, but average as in what we should be eating). After finding your BMR (basal metabolic rate) which is how many calories your body burns just in the process of lounging about and doing its normal biological functions, you need to figure out how many calories your body expends during your average day. This is why most people should really be eating 1500 - 2000 for their weight-loss programs. Unless you weigh 120 lbs or are just really tiny (like my best friend, one of those naturally tiny people) then 1200 calories isn't really a lot, let alone the less than 1000 that is recommended for the first few months or so. My current worry is that this weight loss is due to malnutrition. Are there any nutritionists on the forum here? Does anyone else have any data to support the idea that 800 calories is okay? I am now going over the professional literature to see if I can find anything. This just seems potentially scary. I mean, if I am out hiking in the woods (or across Asia which is a hope after graduation) I'm likely going to need more than 2000 let alone 1200... Thanks!

So, for some reason I am having a not-so-good food week. For the last week and a half, I was keeping my food intake low and just wasn't hungry. I know a lot of this was due to recovering from a short stint with the flu as well as a significant amount of stress...but I was really hoping I had started to get over those hurdles that had been put up over the years. I was consistently stopping eating when I was full. I was dividing up my food before I would start eating, and I was simply being better about food. But this week, it's been rough. Not gorging, but just eating too much, to the point of being uncomfortable. Perhaps it is a stress reaction. Perhaps those old habits (eat everything on your plate, etc) which were forced on me and then reinforced over the years are just impossible to lose. I know, just a few days of slip ups are not the end of the world and can be recovered from. It is just quite disheartening to be here again. Just over four weeks until surgery. I am still working at saving my pennies, but will be taking a hit this next week. I am taking an unexpected trip back home to help out a very sick friend and am looking at quite a large bill in the long run. Hopefully he will be able to reimburse me in time. I posted a note on Facebook asking if anyone back home would be willing to help out with getting him moved (sick and has to move!) or even willing to donate a little bit to my travel fund. I offer the simple idea of, if just five people, donate five dollars each, that covers my cab fare to get to the airport. Simple right? I've helped out other friends on FB who needed a new laptop, or had a pet that needed a vet appointment, etc.....The most I got was one person offering her "prayers" for us. Well...sorry, something constructive and real is what is needed. Prayer is just a way to feel better about herself for not doing anything constructive. I said nothing to her...she strikes me as an overly "fragile" person. Oye...quite frustrating. I do not expect people to help...I learned that long ago while trying to organize events for our Amnesty International club....but I had hoped people would try. Oh well...So, that's part of my last few weeks. B!&chfest over....for the moment. Thanks for listening/reading. Be well everyone and I hope your weeks go swimmingly.

Well, I was 2 lbs short of my goal for the Vjay jay day challenge. So, for my goal of 275 by Surgery, I need to lose 2 lbs a week. Do-able I think. I don't know about Easter. I care even less about Easter than I do about V-day. My surgery (band or sleeve) is smack in the middle between now and then. So...10 pounds down by 21 March....Easter....hmm... SN.........................Starting Wt........Current........Goal.......Lbs to Goal bugwitch...............285...................285...............255................30 A bit too ambitious? Probably.

Damn. But losing 1.4 pounds is better than gaining. SN................Starting Wt........Current.......Goal.....Lbs to Goal Avilda...............275.....................187............177..............10 BlackBerryJuice.........208..........145..............145................0 Brendasgonnalose...335............224.............225................-1 BonnieEJune . . . . . 325........................271.............275............-4 bugwitch....................291..............285...........283..............2 Cherice95405..........248...........177............ 164...............13 Chilo1.....................216...........158.............154................4 Cludgie................235..............210...............209..............1 Coops ...................238...........183...............177..............6 Cwalker.................250...........180...............170...............10 Daisy......................237..........138...............130................8 DJackson..............229.............213..............215................-2 HollyW...................259............214..............215..............0 Ibejjo.....................249...........249...............229.............20 Juliarh...................230............211.2..............215................-3.8 Kimmes................239.............197.8..............200..............-2.2 Kgremmy.............225.............190.8..............199...............-8.2 Laylasmojo...........242............180...............170...............10 LeslieH.................212...........204................199..............5 LilMissDiva...........235............221.8.............220.............1.8 livelovelaugh.. ...236............ ..207........ .....189..............18 Mellifrits...............210............132..............125................07 Meriteri................240............177..............170...............7 MichelleLee..........252...........222................199...............23 MINI-Me...............203.............124.6...........125...............0 & holding! mlr777................200.8...........174.6...........160.............14.6 Mommy2Girls.......275...............240............228..............1 Moniluv.................190.............181...........178...............3 MRSKOUBIK...........317............252.............255..............-3 NannieG . .............250. ..........153........... 150............... 3 OregonDaisy . . .. . . ................135 pattimomof3nj......203.4...........157.3............155................2.3 missed it by that much! PlannerGirl………..…327…..……..275…….........255………….....20 Sailorgirl................240............220.............200..............20 Secret Surgery34....205............174...........165................9 Seniorsleever........290.............279.............260..............19 Sleeve 4 me.........166...........159..........159....................0 Sweatinitout..........245............170.............160..............10 tlang262 - Texas.....240..........240..............230..............10 Yolanda240.....236.................191..............170..............21

Yup. I prefer Tribal and fusion styles but I have lately (in the last year or so) developed a love of vintage cabaret. I absolutely love the music of the 40's - 80's and have a decent vintage bellydance record collection. I've been wanting to design and make a vintage/modern-fusion-ish (if that makes sense) style cabaret costume. I have an old prom dress that I think will serve as a perfect base for the skirt and left over fabric for the top. Your idea about the little packets along the way is a good one. Could use them for that costume. Yup...I am fully aware of Tribal Bazaar (I've purchased a number of things from them. A good friend of mine operates Silk Road Tribal (www.silkroadtribal.com) and has some equally gorgeous goodies. I often get things from her too. I cannot remember if I wrote this earlier or not...but there is a neat vintage clothing and furniture strip here in Columbus. I would LOVE to have some of those vintage dresses from the 60's and 70's. And when I'm thin, I will.

Slim in 6 is part exercise program and part nutrition program. When you order the program, you get a nutrition guide and some other helpful info. Proper diet and nutrition is the first step to ANY successful weight loss regime. This program though, does have a pretty intense fitness component. What you do is use the DVD's that are provided for a 6 week period. There are 3 basic stages: Start it Up: Basic and shortest of the routines but still does give you a great workout; Ramp it Up: Stage 2 which incorporates more resistance training and more cardio than the first and then Burn it Up which is the third and final stage which is totally killer but is definitely worth it, even if you can only stick with it a little bit. This is one of the BeachBody programs (think P90x, etc) and does have a pattern of great results. However, as with all of the BeachBody programs, it's not easy-peasy. You have to commit and stick with it. Even if you miss a day, that's fine, but get back in the next day. Why I like it, is because it mixes cardio and resistance training into a workout utilizing resistance bands as well as your own body. Squats, push ups, crunches and lunges all work your body, without any fancy equipment and give both good cardio AND strength training. A lot of people I find, also mix in Shakeology, which is a protein/multi-vitamin/meal replacement shake. They have that for Breakfast and call it good. I've often considered going to that at some point.

I'm starting up Slim in 6 tomorrow because it marks the 6 week until surgery point! I want to be fit and ready for action when I get on that plane. Anyone else wanna join me? Or start up a new routine and keep updating it here with me?

Making my way through the week. Gonna give stage 2, Ramp it UP a go tonight. It kicks your butt, however my arms and thighs always get much stronger when I hit this stage for a week or more.

Avilda......................275..........187..............177..............10 BlackBerryJuice.........208..........149..............145................4 Brendasgonnalose...335............233..............225................8 bugwitch....................291..............286.4...........283..............3.4 Cherice95405..........248...........177............ 164...............13 Chilo1.....................216...........158.............154................4 Cludgie................235..............210...............209..............1 Coops ...................238...........185...............177..............8 Cwalker.................250...........180...............170...............10 Daisy......................237..........138...............130................8 DJackson..............229.............219..............215................4 HollyW...................259............214..............215..............0 Ibejjo.....................249...........249...............229.............20 Juliarh...................230............216..............215................1 Kimmes................239.............222..............200..............22 Kgremmy.............225.............210..............199...............11 Laylasmojo...........242............180...............170...............10 LeslieH.................212...........212................199..............13 LilMissDiva...........235............224.8.............220..............4.8 livelovelaugh.. ...236............ ..207........ .....189..............18 Mellifrits...............210............132..............125................07 Meriteri................240............187..............170...............17 MichelleLee..........252...........222................199...............23 MINI-Me...............203.............124.6...........125...............0 & holding! mlr777................200.8...........174.6...........160.............14.6 Mommy2Girls.......275...............240............228..............12 Moniluv.................190.............190...........178...............12 MRSKOUBIK...........317............266.............255..............10 pattimomof3nj......203.4...........160............155................5 PlannerGirl………..…327…..……..275…….........255………….....20 Sailorgirl................240............220.............200..............20 Secret Surgery34....205............174...........165................9 Seniorsleever........290.............279.............260..............19 Sleeve 4 me.........166...........161..........159....................2 Sweatinitout..........245............170.............160..............10 tlang262 - Texas.....240..........240..............230..............10 Yolanda240.....236.................191..............170..............21 Oops....it looks like I'm supposed to update this myself. I didn't realize that. duh

Hey...where did my name go!?! You just don't love me anymore. My weigh in today had me at 286.4! Think I can get there? One week to lose 3.4 pounds.