Nadine.Carr.PhD

Hi Everyone! I'm not giving up on this surgery yet, but it really hasn't been good for me. This is my journey... The day of my surgery I was about 239. That was February 2009. Over the next couple of months, I had 2 fills. I lost no weight. Summer 2009 I went completely vegan and trained for an 8k marathon which I completed in December 2009 - ran the entire thing in a little over an hour! At that point I got down to 219. I feel it was completely because of eating vegan and running - not the surgery. In January 2010, I had to have my gall bladder removed due to having complications. My doctor suggested I go back to eating lean meats, and due to the surgery I temporarily reduced my jogging. I went back up to 229. In the last few months, I've had 2 more fills. I believe I'm at approximately 7.0 cc. Now this is the kicker: If I eat fast, I throw up, but if I eat slow and chew, I CAN EAT ENDLESSLY AND WHATEVER I WANT AS IF I HAD NEVER EVEN HAD THE SURGERY! I don't understand how this surgery is supposed to work! Even though I watch what I eat and I am an avid jogger, if I can basically eat, get hungry, and never get full the way I did before the surgery, then what's the purpose? I've spent about $2500 out of pocket on this thing for what feels like nothing. Today I weigh 228. What do I do????????

Thank you all for those of you who have motivational constructive advice. "Eat Less" is simplistic and not constructive. I had a gastric bypass friend say the exact same thing to another overweight friend of ours awhile ago when my GB friend was at her lowest weight. The GB friend has since gained almost all her weight back. It clearly isn't that simple. I think I will try to do a series of things including seeing a nutritionist and journaling what I eat again. I've done these things before, but I'm going to have to try it again, just differently. And I'm gonna keep trying. And keep trying. I do indeed feel hunger pangs similar from before the surgery. Perhaps they aren't that bad, and I am mentally making them as bad as before. I'm not really sure, so I've been thinking and perhaps I'll start a hunger pangs scale where I include my physical and emotional state as a factors. Also, I'm not sure if I wanna live a life eating 800 calories forever - when I tried that after my 2nd fill, I felt like I was starving myself! But I can do a minimum of 1100-1300, that is plausible with some meditation and discipline. It's rough being a jogger and getting too low in calories. Perhaps I might even need to reduce the jogging a bit. Currently, my diet follows the standard food pyramid and I eat about 2000 calories a day because I'm essentially eating as if I had never had the surgery, so I'll try to eat as if I do have restriction. I just hope the sensation of fullness starts to genuinely kick in at some point! I am certain that I am at 7cc. In fact after my 3rd fill, I charted it down at 6.6cc, so I might actually be more than 7cc since my 4th. But I will keep trying. I'm determined to not have wasted all this time and money. I'll keep trying and trying. Thank you all for your words of encouragement!!! This is a journey and like many others in my life, it's a bumpy one! AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!