I don't know if I’m looking for advice or what. But here is my story.
I was banded in October of 2007; in the year that followed I got really sick from fills being too tight like 3 times. Finally in December of 2008 I had all the liquid removed from my band and have lived like that for a year now. I didn’t gain any weight back over that year until the past 2 months. L And now I’m so upset I’m almost back to the weight I was the day of surgery. My mom keeps telling me I have to do this for me. I can’t figure out why I don’t have the motivation to do this for me. I feel like if someone told me to do it for them I could, but since it has to be for me I struggle. The month I had my lap band my g/f of 2 years broke up with me, and I guess that could be part of the reason why I failed. I don’t know. After that break up I was in and out of unhealthy relationships until April of 2009 when I met my current girlfriend. And honestly I have never been happier in a relationship in my life; however I still look in the mirror and hate what I see. So I have to ask myself am I really happy? For once I’m with someone that loves me for me, every curve, every roll, every blemish, no matter what she is madly in love with me… so WHAT IS MY DEAL? Ugh!
I just called my doctor, I haven’t seen him in a year, I have an appointment on December 10th to get a fill. I wanted to go today but I owe him money and can’t pay him until the 10th.
Thanks for listening… sorry I was rambling, just needed to get some things off my chest I guess. Any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.