Jensharley

WARNING: This is a bit long winded! I decided to post this in two parts, first a celebration of the success I have had since surgery: - Lost 64 lbs and feel pretty amazing! - Don't sweat excessively any more (was a huge problem for me before) - My shoe size has gone from tight wide width to average width. I can buy any shoes I want! Yipee! - I have donated about 6 large bags of clothes I will never see again - When I go to my favorite store I can shop where I want instead of seeking out Women's World (what a crap name). - Wearing a size 12 down from 1x/2x - I am no longer invisible. People actually look at me and make eye contact with me on an elevator. Sometimes a blessing when at work and I need to get someone's attention but it has been a long time since I had what I call "male attention" and that makes me uncomfortable. - I don't avoid social situations any more. I can sit at a table or booth in front of God and everybody and eat dinner without feeling like all eyes are upon me. - My sleeve can be picky and doesn't like the old food I used to crave like pizza, burgers and fries. It does like mexican food unfortunately which is my favorite. Next, the challenges. I have been stalled at 194 lbs for a long time. Part of it is mental I think because I did this one other time when I got below 200 lbs. It seems I block myself emotionally at this weight and fear getting down to goal weight and putting myself out there where I could ultimately face rejection. I have some sick tape playing in my head that says if I stay fat then if I am rejected it is because I am fat. If I lose all the weight and get rejected then it is personal. Stems from a love/hate relationship with my mom where I constantly sought out approval and rarely got it. I know a bunch of psycho babble talk but at least I am aware I do it. Now I just have to get past it. I have been able to under eat my sleeve successfully. but I have been unable to shake the guilt of wasting food. I find I will eat what I want and then offer the rest to my husband who has weight issues too. I pretty much transfer the guilt to him because he thinks like me that you shouldn't waste food so he will eat his dinner and part of mine. This has caused him to gain a good amount of weight and this is weight he does not need. Talking to him about it has been difficult. He has been pretty quiet about my whole weight loss thing. He practically doesn't even acknowledge I have lost weight unless I push the issue. It isn't because he isn't proud of me or happy for me it is because he has become so unhappy with himself. I don't know how to help him and I feel really sad about it. I have decided I am not going to ask him if he wants anything from my plate any more. I just wish I could help him lose the weight but honestly without the sleeve I would be struggling too.

I think having been overweight for so long it is easy to be critical of how we look. Some days I look in the mirror and see a slimmer person and some days I look and see an out of shape albeit smaller person. The whole weight loss journey is about getting our minds right along with getting our bodies right. Be kind to yourself and rejoice in the success instead of seeing the negatives. )

July 18th and down 58 lbs.

What a great job you have done! I especially like the note about someone posting facebook photos of you. I have upset a friend or two by removing their tag of me on a photo so I understand that fear very well. How awesome and freeing it is to post pictures of the new you!

I am one who has always hated shopping. Trying clothes on usually gave me heart palpitations and broke me out into a cold sweat. I seriously have had store clerks ask me if I was okay because I was sweating profusely (dripping wet hair and wet clothes kind of sweating) and it was cold outside. The whole shopping event was dramatic and traumatic to say the least but since I have lost weight the sweating has stopped completely. For that alone I would have this surgery again. I recently went shopping for a couple of things because I am almost out of clothes. For years I held onto smaller sizes with the hope I would lose weight so until recently I have been able to wear what I already had in the closet. First I went and bought a blazer in a size 16 which for me being a more should I say top heavy gal with broad shoulders I need a bigger size on top. Boy was I surprised when I got home and it was too big. I thought about moving the button over a bit but it was more than a couple of inches too big. Shocked. It took awhile for it to register with me. Then I went jeans shopping and took two pair of size 14s in to try on because last time I was at this weight I could just squeeze into 14s. I was shocked to discover they were too big and ended up buying size 12 jeans. It made me feel so incredibly skinny! I am finding that I am smaller at my current weight than I was previously when I was this weight. Part of me thinks it is just the distribution of the weight but my mind also wants to rationalize it by saying sizes are probably bigger than they were or adding stretch into jeans makes it easier to go down a size or two. I don't know why it is but I am choosing to celebrate! Shopping without drama and trauma! Yeah!!

July 18, 2011 and down 55 lbs. Need to re-commit to eating better (she says sheepishly).

Bought my first pair of regular width shoes in 10 years! I hated, hated, hated going shoe shopping before surgery and now it is fun!

1 package boneless chicken breasts 1 can black Beans 1 can corn drained 1 c salsa or diced tomatoes with green chiles 1 c chicken broth garlic powder onion powder chili powder cumin Spray inside crock pot with non-stick spray. Lay chicken breasts down and coat with garlic powder, onion powder, chili powder and cumin. Turn over and coat again with seasoning. Add salsa and chicken broth. Cook on high 4-5 hours. Shred chicken. Add black beans and corn. Cook until heated through. Serve with sour cream, cheese, green onions or whatever toppings you like. Note: I just finished making it and it came out more dense with the shredded chicken then I expected. I am going to add another can of beans.

I am two months out and still struggle with some foods. I try what I want and if I have trouble I will try it again later. Spicy foods which I loved before are very hard for me. My husband loves to cook and makes everything spicy. That has not been good for me and he doesn't seem to understand I just can't tolerate spice like I used to. Another problem is unconscious eating which happens when I sit down to eat but I am working or doing something else at the same time. Undoubtedly I could control some of my food intolerance if I just slowed down and took smaller bites. When I am focused while I am eating I always try to under-eat if possible. I know I can eat again later if I am hungry but if I over-eat I am stuck feeling miserable until it eventually comes up. Yuck.

I agree with the others you have to ditch the box wine. That is not a good quality wine and coming from a box can't be good for the taste either. Have you tried a wine tasting at a store? That might help you understand what you like without having to spend money on bottles. For a nice light red wine that isn't too dry or tart I prefer Pinot Noir, preferably from Oregon. Very tasty!

I read somewhere that for every 15 lbs you lose that is like taking off a winter coat. I run hot, very hot but I have been a lot cooler too. Usually at night I would sleep uncovered and my husband would be under the sheet and a blanket. Now I am under the sheet and blanket. I love that side effect!

I had a similar problem. Sitting could be excruciating but standing would relieve the pain. It came and went for several weeks. At the height of the pain I went to the ER and had a cat scan. I was constipated so thought that was it. After looking back now that the pain is gone I believe I had an adhesion that I kept pulling. The pain has been gone for a few weeks now and I feel good. Hang in there!

Any kind of major chance in one's life tests the strength of friendship. When I was 27 my sister was diagnosed with cancer, then I was diagnosed with cancer, my dad died suddenly and my mom was diagnosed with cancer all within months of one another. It had a profound affect on my personal relationships. Some friendships got much stronger and some that I thought were strong dissipated. People are attracted to us for many reasons both physically and emotionally. When you decide to lose weight whether you like it or not changes happen to us emotionally as well. We may uncover underlying issues of low self-esteem and those attracted to us because of that are challenged when we become more self-confident. Those who have low self-esteem themselves and feel hanging around with their "fat" friend is safe may view the new us as a competitor. Either way if during our weight loss journeys we see friends fall out I believe that it is natures way of removing the superficiality that can sometimes take over a friendship when we don't realize it. Don't seek it out but don't be caught by surprise to see it happen is my motto.

I am in a quandary and would like some advice from the veterans. I know from reading the posts that many of you count carbs to speed up weight loss. I have done the whole low carb thing before pre-sleeve and had a significant weight loss but when I started eating carbs again I gained it all back and then some. That has made me leery of focusing on low carb post surgery. I want to be able to eat a balanced diet in small quantities so that I can maintain this for the rest of my life. My weight loss has been pretty good but has slowed down recently to a lb every two or three or four days. I am wondering if I am jeopardizing the long term success of the sleeve by not low carbing the first several "golden" months when weight loss is typically fastest or if my focus on eating a sustainable long term balanced diet is the right way. I would love to hear from those with success using either method. Thanks!