Swan56

Hey Jenn - I don't have Aetna but I do know how frustrating it is to have to wait. They submitted my paperwork on 11/22 and I haven't heard anything yet. Michele (from Dr. Spaws) called within a few days to verify that they had everything they needed. They told her it had all been received and said it was pending. I called a few days later (12/2) and at first they told me that they didn't show that they had received it. Then i explained that my docs office already verified that it was received and she did some more research. Then she said it had been received but they didn't show it was being reviewed. I emailed Michele and told her what they had told me. She called them on 12/3 and got the reference number and assured me that it had already been in the reviewal process. Point being - insurance companies are frustrating! After she assured me - I've been pretty calm about it. She said most the time (with BCBS) anyway, that it gets approved first go 'round. Have you asked Dr. Spaws office to schedule you date?

Hello Kelsey and welcome to LBT. I'm pretty new too but I am also scheduled (tentatively) for the 27th. I'm still waiting on approval but my surgery center says I should be approved in plenty of time. I'm nervous and excited as well. It's a big step

Okay, I have been struggling with whether to tell my dad I am having surgery or not. I love my dad and would love his support but I'm afraid he just doesn't understand. I mentioned to him last month that I was thinking of having surgery. I've actually been researching since August and at that point was going through the steps for insurance. He is basically against any surgery - he got a "frog" in his throat and kept clearing his throat and telling me I wouldn't be proper nutrition and it wasn't healthy and... anything really. It stems from my grandfather - his dad. When i was only 8 or 9, my grandpa went into surgery to have some "simple tests run" and ended up having a fatally allergic reaction to the dye - barium. Needless to say, that has strained my dad's confidence in medical doctors. I have told my husband, sister, mom, stepdad, and a few close friends. They're all very supportive. I told my little brother tonight and he was a little shocked. I explained my concern with telling dad and he say, "Well it's your body, just don't tell him." That would be the easiest thing to do - i think. But I also know how my dad is. Withholding information is the same as lying in his eyes and I know he'd be very upset - especially if my mom and stepdad come to town for it. I don't want to upset him or hurt our relationship. We aren't super close but we have a decent relationship. When I told him last month, he says - well let's try this. He gave me tons of vitamins and told me what he'd like for me to do (exercise each day, eat whole foods, etc). I have been doing that - but truth is, i have been doing that off and on for years. The diet I was on twice was just that - vitamins, high protien, exercise - and I did great for the first few months (lost about 30 pounds) but then I gained it all back and then some. I don't think he realizes how hard I have already tried to do this on my own. My dad has never teased or been hurtful about my weight - in fact, he never even mentions it. But I know he knows the reprocutions of the excess weight. Thoughts...?

Thank you all SO much for your help and your opinions. It is nice to know I'm not the only one who has struggled with telling a family member. @ElfiePoo and RyanTheGirl -- Thank you for some advice on how to breech the subject with him. @Happygirl65 -- I'm glad to hear your discussion with your dad went so well A lot was touched on since I was last on. Ryan - i think you asked if i was already scheduled? I haven't been approved by insurance yet but it is in the process. I have a tentative date for 12/27. So - I basically have a few weeks to let my dad know that i'm doing more than "thinking" about having it done. I suppose it is my fault in how I brought up the subject. I should have sounded more sure. I know I want/need the surgery. I knew that when i brought it up. I wouldn't have even broached the subject had I just been thinking. I allowed him to make me feel like I hadn't thought it through or that I didn't really need it. Next time, I will talk to him with confidence. Show him I have done my research and i've made up my mind. Thank you again for your help! And good luck Melzie_99 in telling your family as well

I think I have made up my mind to tell him before... but i do think after would be less stressful.

Great idea... Just have to figure out how to do that exactly. Lol

I know exactly what you're saying Cindy. That's why the decision is so hard. If he asked, I wouldn't lie. I can't remember lying to my parents about anything (even in my young/dumb years). I may have kept things from them but when asked - I always tell the truth. So yes, of course he would find out. I am very confident in my decision to have the surgery - a little scared because I've never had surgery - but confident. In fact, when I first started to consider it, I was shocked. I was against it before - thinking I could do this all on my own. But I've been trying as long as I can remember to not be the fat girl and it hasn't worked for me. And I know it's not because I've been lazy with my attempts or quit. I just need help. I'm doing it for me - but my family will benefit from this decision. My dad has a good friend whose daughter lost over 100 lbs "on her own" a few years ago. I guess he thinks I should be able to do that too. He has said, "the concept is simple - burn more calories than you put in." YES - THAT SEEMS LIKE A SIMPLE CONCEPT. Through my working out every day of the week, to eating TONS of protien and not many carbs, to only eating once a day... it hasn't worked that way. I've questioned many times what is wrong with me. Like I've said in other posts, my family isn't obese. I'm the chunky one but my siblings are all "normal" size. I guess initially posting this - i knew in the long run that I would tell him before the surgery. I just wanted some encouragment. I know he's not going to take it well. He won't get mad but I know he will worry...

Hey Cristina - and welcome! The process depends A LOT on your insurance. Do you know if it covers WLS? If so, you need to find out the requirements they have to approve it. For example, my insurance company required me to have 5 years of weight records from my pcp, lose 10% of body weight (from my heaviest), psych eval, a BMI of over 40 or 35-40 with comorobitites. Some insurce companies require a 6-month doctor supervised weight loss, some a 90-day. It all depends... and most is based on your insurance.

How tall are you? ... Cuz i'm thinking a little more than 200 properly distributed could still make for a smooth sail in a crowd

@CheckYes My dad isn't really monitoring my weight. He's really just trying to be helpful, but i understand where that could be destructive. @riverat - I don't really know. His mom is 92 and his brother (56) was diagnosed with early onset alzheimers. I think that's about the most medical crisis he has had. He doesn't really go to a doctor. He's a pretty keep-to-himself king of guy. I know when he gets mad about something he won't talk to anyone for a while. He has to think first. So I'm thinking maybe... stew? Either way, I know it's going to be hard. I'll feel guilty if i don't tell him but it'll be less stress on me than having to tell him. I talked to my mom and stepdad about it earlier this week and my stepdad said, "Well everyone has their opinions, i can respect that. Print him off some information to explain the procedure..." I think the only experience he has is with Gastric - a route i refuse to take (too intrusive for me but know it works great for some). One of his patients had gastric and had a really rough time with it. He ended up having atleast one more surgery and got really sick, etc. Maybe he thinks they're all the same... who knows.... UGH

Wow - TMI with some of that but I do understand what you're saying. However, stage diving is not a dream of mine... lol. Maybe my husband being able to pick me up would be nice. I mean, he can now (cuz he's strong as crap) but like "over the threshold" or "piggy back ride" kind of stuff.

Oh oh me first me first... I can't wait to feel comfortable in a swimsuit - go to a waterpark - wear shorts... YIPPEE! You?

December 27th is my tentative date as well! Now just awaiting the approval...

My hair is really thick too - but fine. I lose a lot on a normal day. My sister does my hair so I'm sure she will keep on top of it. I'll just have to have her watch for signs. I've watched some of your vlogs. Great information. I'll finish this in a personal convo.

Hi everyone. I'm a 29 year old female (it almost feels wrong to say that... my birthday is in 13 days...) from Tennessee. I have been married for about 5 years. I have two wonderful (step) children - 9 & 12, both boys. I am a softball player (yes i still play) and consider myself a healthy fat girl (as healthy as you can be anyway). Almost sounds like an oxymoron huh? I don't have any comobidities but I do plan to lose about 120 lbs. During March-October, I am pretty much at the ballfield every day. Both my boys play baseball (travel teams) and l play softball. My family is very supportive but really has no idea what it's like to be "obese." I don't really like that word. Sounds like a weird fungal disease or something. I don't personally know anyone that has been banded. All my paperwork was submitted to the insurance company on 11/22. I'm trying to be patient but am pretty much driving myself insane. I have a tentative date set for 12/27. Yes, this requires me to be in the 2 week pre-op diet during my 30th birthday party AND Christmas but I figured if i'm going to be successful I'm going to have to hit the ground running with this thing. I've been heavy my whole life. My then stepmom started me on my first diet at 13/14. Since then it has been one rollercoaster after another - and not the fun kind! Before my sister got pregnant she was a size 4/6, my stepmom was a 2/4, and my brother is like 6'2" 185 and can't put on weight. YES IMAGINE HOW I FELT AT THE BEACH EVERY SUMMER! I've never had surgery... i'm scared, overwhelmed, excited. So many emotions. Trying to be patient but like i said, i think i'm driving myself insane...

JeweI - Thanks so much for your reply and your encouragment. It's so nice to hear stories about other's journeys and what to expect. It's a relief to hear that you were up walking and out of the hospital so quickly. Congratulations on the 56 lbs! My starting BMI is pretty close to yours. I'm 5'5" and heavier than you started at. Getting to 204 would be WONDERFUL! I know lapband is slower than gastric - part of the reason I chose it. How is your skin? And I've heard a lot about hair loss. Although judging from your picture, your hair is fine. I will definately watch some of your videos on youtube. THANKS for the link. I'm pretty excited about the changes. I know I have great will power but also know there will be moments when I will struggle. Did you tell many people you were getting banded? How are peoples reactions to you? Sorry for the 20 questions... i'm just really curious. Thanks again!

You know - I think one thing that I am most excited about (you know beyond the being healthy parts) - at least a physical part I'm happy about. I'm ready for a full compliment not a half-one. Anyone who has gotten half compliments knows exactly what I'm saying. The "oh you have a beautiful face" or the "dude your sister would be perfect if she'd lose some weight" ... Anyone else sick of them? I am a phenomenal, beautiful person despite their sideways view of me. I'm just happy that my outer body will soon match the spunk from my inner soul.

LOL YES - this is exactly what I'm talking about. People are funny.

Nope - still waiting on approval. Called BCBS today. First they said they hadn't received it. Then they found it, had received it, and said it didn't show it was in review. Although they told Dr. Spaws office earlier this week it was. I don't think they know... haha. Anyway, she said she'd send it over to be reviewed and to wait 7-14 days. BOO! hahaha. 12 pounds isn't too bad. Good luck with that! I hated that part. Seemed like it took FOREVER.

Thank you for sharing Meekie! You're an inspiration.

Aww I'm sad that so many of you had negative experiences. People in general all seem to have some sort of opinion about WLS and the ones that are opposed are REALLY opposed. Unfortunately that had to be someone you met on a professional level. Luckily the surgery center I'm working with has a psychologist that they work with. He screens most of their patients and is very much used to the idea of WLS. I knew the purpose of the screening and knew I'd come out okay. But to my surprise, I left feeling better than I thought I would. He actually told me that he thought i'd do great with the band, that i'd be one of those people he sees in a year that he doesn't even recognize (he attends some of the support group meetings). I wish more surgery centers did this. WLS is a HUGE decision for most people and it's a discouraging enough journey with all the hoops for insurance, peoples opinions, etc. We shouldn't be exposed to negativity by those that are supposed to be helping us. I'm sorry you guys had to experience that but GOOD FOR YOU FOR MOVING FORWARD!

Congratulations and hope all goes well!

Hey Oreo - congrats on losing 38 lbs. I'm new here and haven't been banded yet but i do hope you get the support you are searching for. I know there is a section to help with recipes - just look around. Good luck!