Cleo's Mom

@BLERDgirl;@Stevehud - You both made some very relevant points. There are a lot of factors to consider.

Also, if you're taking iron supplements they can be very constipating. Perhaps talk to your doctor about that as well as some suggestions for helping with the constipation. Maybe miralax which isn't technically a laxative but draws water into the intestines can help. But I think it's always wise to check with your doctor first.

No one said she was told to eat a Lean Cuisine. She said she could eat one.

You know, it's funny, because even those in the medical/health care profession who deal with WLS (or just weight loss in general) before and after are not all on the same page with regard to food that is okay and food that is not okay. My NUT before my lap band surgery had a room full of empty boxes of the frozen diet dinners along with the requisite plastic food. These were all foods you were encouraged to eat and their portions.

I think this is good advice for anyone having any surgery or medical procedure. You might be surprised at what is in your operative report. I know I was when I got mine and found out my surgeon put in a 4cc band when he told me it was 10cc. I have an accordion folder of all my medical records. If the doctor sees it, so do I.

My paternal grandmother was born in the late 1890's and was obese by any medical standards. She was a big eastern European woman and lived during a time when there weren't fast food restaurants, processed foods, etc.. The women of her generation cooked from scratch and worked hard all day as homemakers. They got plenty of exercise. So obesity cannot always be blamed on the foods we have today or what we do or don't eat (processed vs whole foods, etc.). While that certainly plays a part- what is being left out is the genetics of obesity. How many people on here have already posted about multiple people in their family being obese? When identical twins have been raised apart - they will have the traits like each other rather than their adopted family (nature vs nurture). In other words, they would both be obese while their families were thin (or visa versa). Not everyone can afford fresh, whole foods. Processed and fast foods are cheaper. Not everyone has insurance or the money to cover WLS. Not everyone has a support system. I was a thin person up until about age 30. So, I don't have the experience that those on here who have been overweight/obese all their lives and were made fun of. My point is that there are many ways people became obese and each person has to find a way to address it in their own time and their own way when it is right for them.

I could be mistaken but isn't your group the one that got into legal trouble for false advertising? It could be some other group, but at any rate here is what I would do: Try to get copies of all your tests, especially the operative report, etc..(maybe you already have them) and do some research about attorneys who are taking on band patients with complications like yours. And show the attorney your medical records along with a detailed timeline of when and how things happened to you. You could have a good malpractice case but only an attorney can tell you that. Good luck - you've been through enough.

My local paper used to have an active blog - it was mostly political. I was very active on it as were many others. So I became very familiar with tactics used in arguments. One of them is - if you can't win your argument on facts and make good points then you attack the person - personally or otherwise. That is what you have done and some others, too. Another thing that those who couldn't win their argument on facts or with relevant terms or answer the tough question would do - they would deflect. Change the subject. You've done that too. You can't answer the tough questions - so deflect and attack. So keep attacking and proving my point. And you know nothing about me, either, but felt free to make a comment about my sex life. How low is that? Another example of the kind of person you are.

You are the one who defends insulting people and then accuses me of anger and hostility when I stick up for myself. That's just more of the same. Yawn. You're the one who's angry that you got caught with all your deceptions about why you started this thread. "Oh, I can't possible say who wrote those posts, their poor feelings will get hurt". Yeah, right. You really are so sensitive to other's feelings as this and your other posts show. And as far as nails - I think I've hit the nail on the head about you and that's what makes you so angry. You don't have anything intelligent to come back with so you just attack. That's such a pathetic tactic. It sure doesn't fool me. I've seen it before. That is your style. What I don't understand is that if you "don't give a damn" (earlier post) why are you still on here?

I agree but apparently I need a hobby because I took exception to her post. The mindset of some on here just baffles me. Thanks for your post.

Really? I stand up for myself so therefore I need a hobby? I come back at someone who calls me a troller, says I don't have balls, judges me because I don't have a picture or updates on my profile and says if I worked I wouldn't get along with people there. But somehow I am angry for replying to this? Wow! Some of you people on here are really something else. Just amazing!..

I have as much right as anyone on here to post - or as you put it "put my 2 cents in". Who (names) did I attack for disagreeing with my opinion? I have a right to my opinion just as they have a right to theirs. And several on here have disagreed with me as I have with them. What is the point you are trying to make? I was on here when it was just the lap band forum before it became bariatric pal. I did a lot of postings then but haven't been active until recently when I started contemplating getting the sleeve. Now listen carefully to this: I will post what I want when I want. I will also include or not include what I choose in my profile or update what I want when I want. Who do you think you are to criticize me for that? And I can tell you that no one has ever accused me of - as you put it - not having balls. I am a very assertive person, I stand up for myself and I do so unapologetically. Got it?

You said "I knew we would never get a truthful answer out of you". IMO, and maybe I'm wrong, that's no different than calling her a liar. And no. I NEVER condone name calling by anyone on ANY side of an argument/debate/discussion. I didn't call you a name, please don't try to goad me into your argument here. I'm not playing. You called ME out for calling her a hypocrite but said nothing about her calling me one first. So you are picking and choosing when to attack someone for something they said. If that isn't true then you need to call her out on calling me a hypocrite first. Somehow I don't think that is going to happen. And yes, saying we are never going to get a truthful answer is different than saying she is a liar. We have to take her at her word that her thread wasn't about "4 weeks out and depressed" but if she is unwilling to at least copy and paste the posts (no names) she finds so problematic that she would start a new thread - then we will never learn the truth as to whether there really were any posts or she just decided to vent.

Really? You are calling someone a liar? A coward? A hypocrite? Rude and nasty?? All because she won't call out someone BY NAME just because you WANT her to? What happened to being nice? Being kind? It seems to me that the OP was venting, you assumed to know who she was venting about and you were incorrect. That's it. I highly doubt @@Alex Brecher condones name calling of any sort. Someone liking a post in another thread (or even this one) does not mean they condone any and all behavior that you choose to exhibit thereafter. Really? You are calling someone a liar? A coward? A hypocrite? Rude and nasty?? All because she won't call out someone BY NAME just because you WANT her to? What happened to being nice? Being kind? It seems to me that the OP was venting, you assumed to know who she was venting about and you were incorrect. That's it. I highly doubt @@Alex Brecher condones name calling of any sort. Someone liking a post in another thread (or even this one) does not mean they condone any and all behavior that you choose to exhibit thereafter. Where did I call anyone a liar? She made references to her so-called rude and nasty comments. I guess you are okay when someone calls me a hypocrite but not when I come back at them with the same. What does that make you?

Off subject question for you Cleo.... do you work outside the home? just curious.... Irrelevant to anything.

Thank you. There hasn't been any abuse in my posts. As I have said repeatedly, if you post answers that are civil (and yes they can be truthful) you can do it in a way that doesn't require you to defend your post. No one is ever offended by a post if it is done in a sensitive, nice way - including being truthful. What remarks, specifically, do you find abusive? And, btw, the founder of this site, bariatric pal, supports me in my views and postings. And how much emotional investment are you making since you're still on here?

Just what I thought - deny it was the thread "4 weeks out and depressed" but then feel strongly enough about someone or more who posted something that you felt so strongly as to start a thread unrelated to WLS but to what you perceive as people who are thin skinned and weak minded. @@GreenEyes604 I gotta ask.....is the original poster you are referring to with starting this thread even aware of the epic battle being waged in her name lol! That is a good question. I think the OP of this thread should tell us the person(s) to whom she was referring when she started the post so that person of persons can at least defend themselves. I find it absolutely hypocritical that you of all people would actually want me to tell you who I was referring. After ASSuming that you knew who and what I was referring to. At least whoever I was referring to doesn't know that I was referring to them, so they can't be hurt any further by my so called "rude" and "nasty" comments. But no…. you want to know who it is so they can defend themselves…. SERIOUSLY? REALLY? Your comment is just another example of posts that I real that make me say EXACTLY what I said in my original post. What a hypocrite you are. And just for the record, I'm NOT going to tell you who I was referencing. What someone doesn't know won't hurt them, they don't know and you don't know either! Time for you to move on to something else! No YOU are the hypocrite. If you had a problem with something someone posted then say it to their face on the thread they were in. But you took the coward's way out. This isn't about not hurting anyone with your rude or nasty comments. What they don't know doesn't hurt them, blah, blah, blah. What a total cop out. I knew we would never get a truthful answer out of you. Keep hiding. And btw, I got a private message today from someone who supported me - but she also assumed that those who post like you are veteran WLS people. I corrected her on that assumption about you.

Like my grandma says... It's easier to keep up with truth's than lies. Nothing in this thread is about truth vs lies. It's about how people post their remarks and if someone interprets them as rude then that's their fault because they're thin skinned, mentally unfit for WLS, get out of the kitchen if you can't stand the heat - well, if you've read all the posts here you know what they've said as well as defending their comments when someone thinks they're rude. Like I've said before - those who post suggestions in a civil, mannerly and polite way never have to defend them. Guess what - it can be done and many do it. It's not hard. I suggest everyone give it a try. And btw - look at what Alex, the founder of bariatric pal, posted in the "Jumping to conclusions" thread. He is exactly right.

That is a good question. I think the OP of this thread should tell us the person(s) to whom she was referring when she started the post so that person of persons can at least defend themselves.

Alex, I am so glad you addressed this. I think the most troublesome thing about all of this is that there are so many who justify and defend their rude comments by any number or excuses. They blame those who take offense. That's blaming the victim and that's what those who engage in abuse do. It's not what I said - the problem is that you're thin skinned, can't take the heat, freedom of speech, tough love, ad infinitum, ad nauseum. I maintain, and I have yet to hear a compelling argument to the contrary, that you can give advice and suggestions to someone in a way that is not offensive. If you can't then it says a lot more about you than the person it is aimed at.

With Barrett's esophagus I would get that band out in a heartbeat even if I had to pay for it myself and then I would address ways to get rid of the Barrett's. My husband had Barrett's and developed and died from esophageal cancer. And he was being monitored yearly. It is nothing to take lightly. I know that most Barrett's esophagus doesn't turn into esophageal cancer but that is small comfort if you are one it happens to. My husband's was caught early and it didn't make a difference. Esophageal cancer is very difficult to treat. Get the band out and get the Barrett's addressed. Not meant to scare you- just some advice from someone who's been there.

Yes her post was tame and certainly not deserving of some of the comments some people made.

No, I was just saying that you, as well as me, thought it was that post "4 weeks out and depressed" that started this thread. I will be waiting to find out exactly what post did start it.

Additionally, this thread morphed into a discussion about those who can't take insulting comments by calling them all the things I listed above, questioning their mental stability to even have WLS, etc.. - so it really doesn't matter if it was this post that started this thread or if it was another post - the discussion went in that direction and my comments still stand.