brandynd

So...just was talking to my husband. He has to work on Thursday, so he won't be able to take me to the airport for my flight at 7pm. The last time I'll see him will be at noon before he leaves for work. He just walked out the door to go return some movies and I'm sitting here blubbering like a whale. I just keep thinking "what if that ends up being the last time I see my husband? What if I don't make it home?" I really need somebody to talk me down this evening. I've officially hit the point of panic.I can't stop crying, and I can't even think straight. Is this normal? I'm so afraid.

Congrats! You will come through with flying colors! Be sure to check in when you can and let us know how you're doing.

That sounds really yummy! Do you happen to know the nutritional content? If not that's okay I'm sure I can add it up when I try it!

More doom and gloom from the anti-Mexico camp. Why am I not surprised? You suggest taking out a loan andstaying in the states, but for many taking out $15000+ is not an option (myself included). You seem to think tha because you work in law enforcement that you're privvy to all of this information, yet you have not backed any of your claims with personal experience. All you seem to be doing is regurgitating the same information people could get by turning on CNN. As for the ICE agents, did you ever stop to think they were targeted because they were in law enforcement? Just throwing that little nugget out there. Perhaps you should save your scare tactics for those who support your standpoint. People come here to reaof firsthand experience, not to listen to the rants of disgruntled law enforcement. I will go ahead and get off of my soapbox now.

I'm not really sure if this is the right place to put this, so I'll go on ahead and place it here for the time being. My surgery isn't until the 25th, but (aside from my little valentine's day carb fiasco) I'm finding that I'm not really enamored with food anymore. I'm not really sure how to describe what I'm talking about. I guess it's like......okay, I chart everything that I put into my mouth, and I'm just stunned by how little I can eat and still feel really good. I feel awesome on 1200 calories a day, and as long as I can end the occasional evening with my crystal light popsicle that my sweets craving is nonexistent and everything is right in the world. It's like I've stumbled upon this path, and food isn't a huge part of it. I just want to eat enough to not feel hungry so I can get on with my day and wake up tomorrow one day closer to surgery and to coming out of this on the other side of being sleeved so I can claim my spot on the losers bench. Does that even make sense? I know I can't do this on my own, and that's why I'm getting the sleeve...but it's almost like I don't even have my sleeve yet and it's already working for me. Has anybody else experienced this, or have I truly gone and lost my marbles? I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I don't think about food anymore. I'm too busy worrying about my Water intake and making sure I get in 10,000 steps a day and increasing my lung capacity. It feels almost like I got out of an abusive relationship (which I think is a fair way to classify my love affair with food), and I have no desire to see my former significant other anymore. Idk...I'm not sleeved yet, but I'm choosing to call this a NSV. I haven't felt this good about myself and my choices in a long, long time.

I've made it through my first week post sleeve and am going strong. Started full liquids today, but boy am I sick of sweet stuff. I had about a quarter of a special k Protein drink (bad idea), and then later about 2 oz of Soup which wasn't too bad. I'm still occasionally having these weird stomach cramp like feelings, and I can feel everything when it hits my pouch....such a weird feeling! I did have my first NSV today (I have yet to buy a scale...I should get on that..) I went to get dressed and I thought, eh, what the heck? Why not try on the pair of jeans that were a bit too tight for me before surgery. They buttoned all the way with ZERO effort! Holy hooters that happened quick! granted, I'm not down a whole size yet, but I'll take it! I have also noticed (this may be TMI and for that, I'm sorry) that my stools are happening more frequently than usual (like 2-3 times a day) and they are all liquid. I know I'm on a liquid diet, but is this normal? Kinda weird. Other than that, life is returning to normal. I've been walking walking and walking some more, and the soreness subsides a little more everyday. I opted not to go back to work today because I'm just not feeling 100% just yet, but i will be back on Monday. Other than that, not too much going on, just thought I'd catch up!

Can I just say something without the risk of people jumping down my throat? People post over and over about the dangers of Mexico, but until you've gone to one of these border cities you really have no idea what you're talking about. I just returned from my surgery in TJ 3 days ago. NOT ONCE did I feel afraid or threatened in any manner, and myself and some of the other bariatric patients took a walk 5 blocks down the road to the shopping mall and spent a few hours there shopping without a guide...and surprise! I felt just as safe there as I do walking around my suburban neighborhood in the midwest. In any larger city there's going to be crime, that's just a fact of life. But that's because ALL cities have good and bad areas. It isn't like you're going down there to score drugs or get involved in a life of crime, so the odds of people coming after you are incredibly low. In fact, did anyone ever stop to think about the fact that only the bad stuff is put onto the news? I found the people of Tijuana to be wonderful and extremely helpful. If I had to make the choice again whether or not to go to Mexico, I would do it in a heartbeat. I feel like threads like this one scare people who are pre-op and make them unnecessarily nervous prior to having a rather invasive surgery. So please, if you're just basing your opinions on what "you've heard," try to put yourselves in the position of people heading across the border to get the surgery that will likely save their lives. I know I was terrified prior to crossing the border, primarily from things I heard on this forum from people who had in fact, NEVER crossed into Mexico via car, or visited a border city period. Just my two cents.

In TJ....had surgery with Dr. Rod this morning. Let me start off by saying that my decision to go through BeLiteWeight was one of the best I've ever made. JoAnne was here all day popping in between Heather (fern) and I and making sure we were feeling alright...and this was pre-op! Such a good lady! Surgery itself was a bit rough for me. I have terrible veins, and they couldn't seem to get a stick, so I was rolled into the OR without even having anything to calm my nerves which we RIDICULOUSLY our of control. I cried all the way into the OR and the last thing I remember telling them was "Please just don't let me die, ok? I'm a newlywed." Hahaha....looking back it sounds so ridiculous that I would say that to them. Fast forward immediately after surgery....I'm sore, nauseated, and generally crabby. They brought me back to my room, where my mom was waiting. All I had to do was say the words pain and nausea and somebody was in here injecting myself and my IV full of fun liquids to make me feel better, which actually put me out for a few hours. I wake up a few hours later. My mom is pushing that stupid spirometer contraption onto me and telling me to "suck". I swear that thing was a childrens toy gone wrong, and that the nursing community gets off on torturing surgery patients with it. I suck on the damn thing and get the little balls up 5 or 6 times, and then it's time to walk. At this point I argue with whomever will listen that I will NOT be trudging the hallways in the hospital gown with my ass hanging out. Granted, my ass is tan, but I don't think the whole world needs to see it. Finally we reach a compromise and I'm allowed to wear my black stretchy pj capris under it. Works for me. The next few hours are again in and out of consciousness. Works for me....the gas pains are sucking like no other, and I'm not even allowed ice chips until tomorrow. By this time it's 10:30 Nebraska time (8:30 TJ) and I'm sleepy. I'm thinking I might conk out soon, so my mom sneaks off for a smoke and some food. Still waiting on my pain med stick to come, but once it's here I imagine I'll pas back out.

Here at the hotel, 2 days post-op. Things have been going pretty well. I got discharged from the hospital a day early because they thought I was doing so well, so that was nice. Last night at the hotel was a bit rough. Mom bought me some apple nectar not realizing the amount of sugar it had in it (neither of us reads spanish), and I got sick from that. Afterwards, I took rapix, the pain meds they give you for after surgery. A big warning to those of you who go through Dr. Rod....they are non-narcotic, and for me, didn't seem to do much. I was very blessed however, that I had my xanax with me, and they seemed to take the edge off the pain a great deal! We went this afternoon to a shopping mall about 4 blocks from the hotel. The exchange rate here is awesome, and I eyeballed some Calvin Klein sandals and Dior sunglasses, but didn't get them because I figured I might need my money for something else. I bought some crystal light and a bunch of juice at what seemed to be like a Mexican WalMart, and all of that seems to be staying down well. My pouch does hurt a little when I swallow liquids, but my guess is that this is due from the trauma of the surgery. Other than that my gas pains are minimal, as I've been walking so much. I can't wait to get back to San Diego, and hopefully hit Sea World tomorrow before we head back to the very cold, snowy Nebraska terrain. I can tell you that I already love my sleeve, as well as the entire staff of the INT hospital. JoAnne was just a godsend. I can honestly tell you that she far exceeded my expectations, and that the entire BeLiteWeight team has bent over backwards to make our stay as comfortable as possible. Also, I'd like to give 2 thumbs up to Dr. Sanchez, who is the Dr. on call once you're out of surgery. He's been such a sweet guy, and even seemed to appreciate my crude American sense of humor. Just a little update from my hotel room. I'm sure I'll have more to tell you about once I get back into San Diego tomorrow!

update:just puked. now its time for bed.

In San Diego getting ready to head across the border to INT hospital. I'm so nervous! I should be meeting fern in the shuttle pretty soon. Wish us luck! Ill check in as soon as I can.

Getting ready to board my flight to Minneapolis and then on to San Diego. Starting to freak out. I don't fly. I just popped my Xanax so I'm mellowing a little bit. Do me a favor and pray for no snow in Minneapolis! I don't want to be stuck in that airport overnight. I can't believe that I get sleeved tomorrow!! I always just figured that this day would never come. It's been one hell of a journey. I completely broke down into a sobbing mess earlier when I had to say goodbye to my husband. That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and I wasn't expecting to get so emotional, but I guess it happens. Anyways, just thought I'd check in with everyone. I'll try to post tomorrow before I go into surgery, otherwise I will talk to you all after I'm sleeved!

Would love to have a copy! bndyer@live.com

Thank you so much for your kind responses. I think I'm okay now...I just had a little hour long freakout for a minute there. I am so blessed that I have a sleeve twin who called to check up on me and talked me down from my ridiculous meltdown. I'm still a little bit on edge, but I'm sure it's nothing more than a little cold feet. I just have to make it through these next few days, and I know that things will be so much brighter on the other side of this surgery.

Don't back down lady, you can do this! Look at it this way: This is 2 weeks of your life, and the last actual diet you will ever have to go on. In the grand scheme of things, two weeks of your life equates to less than 1% of you life that you are giving up. It really isn't all that much if you think about it. I know the Protein drinks are nasty (I'm on pre-op right now too, eating 1 meal a day with protein to supplement my caloric intake), but if you get them really really cold, I've found that it helps with the flavor a great deal. Have you tried alternating what protein drinks you're buying? I've found that unjury is really quite tasty, and if you get the unflavored kind you can mix it with Jello for a yummy treat at the end of the day! I do hope you get your spirits up...this is a huge adventure, and one that will change your life! Look at all the positives. You're going to get your life back, and be able to be more active and healthy than you would be if you chose to chicken out of the surgery. If you want to talk, or just need to have a sounding board while you're struggling with the pre-op diet, feel free to message me and I'll give you my number. It's always nice to have somebody who's in the same boat as you, and I'd be more than happy to listen! Good luck...you can get through this. Your spot on the losers bench is less than 2 weeks away!

Alright Team Rodriguez (yes, I made a twilight reference. I'm a cheeseball...you know you love it)! Our turn is just barely a week away! I'm so happy that we'll all be in TJ at the same time, and I look forward to seeing all three of you on the losers bench! Time to finishing rocking this pre-op diet and mentally prepping for this. Wooo hooo!! 8 days (9 for you 26th'ers) my lovelies!