nameunknown

Hey Everybody, I am back for an update. Last night I was in the kitchen cooking dinner and talking to my husband and turned around and looked at him and he was making faces at me behind my back. I got mad and went to stay the night at my office. This morning he comes to talk to me and at first he was denying that it happened then he said "I was just playing" and went further to say that it was a joke and now I take everything in a negative fashion. I told him he was abusive, and he insisted that he was just being "sarcastic" and "a smart ass". Then he started telling me I was an alcoholic and that I get "falling down drunk" every night and that is why he is mean to me. (I do drink a glass or 2 of wine at night.) Then he asked "Would it be easier for you to quit drinking or me to quit being a smart ass? I have been like this since I was 4." I am to the point where I am not willing to change my behavior to suit him. I probably do drink too much but I am not willing to stop drinking so that my husband will stop being mean to me. I will also take this time to say I have a major phobia about being bossed around, I will do the opposite of what you want if you try and say I have to do something, so now even if I wanted to stop drinking I would have a problem doing it just because I feel bossed around. So maybe I am an alcoholic and am like those people on intervention who make up excuses of why they wont stop? I will post a disclaimer that I did quit drinking to finish losing the last 15 pounds about 2 months and had no side affects. Honest opinions wanted.

My husband has been the same weight since we met. His BMI is around 35. I never recommend him to lose or gain weight, I am a firm believer that your weight is your own and should not be available for negotiation. I will weigh what I think is best and no one has the right to tell me to lose or gain. This is my body and I will not modify it for anyone, I am the one who has to live here. That being said, we were talking yesterday about me getting a boob lift and he said "You should just gain about 15 pounds, that should fix it" Pfft! When we met I was probably a size 10 and I have varied from 10-16 throughout our relationship. We do not have insurance and so at this time we can not afford a therapist. We have committed to live on a very tight budget for the next year or so. This is also why I cant just go buy some new boobs. I am very unhappy that they are gone and I really want to get them fixed but it would be very irresponsible for me to spend the money at this time. My other issue is that like Cocco said there are other positions but when we have sex with him behind me, I start feeling like it is more controlling and less intimate. I don't mind on occasion but I am not interested in doing it that way every time. Someone asked about kids, ours are 16,16,18, and 21 and we share custody with the ex's so they are in and out of the house, they pretty much live in their own worlds and don't really see much fighting. I really get irritated at posters who ask for advice then once its given they say "yeah but" of why they cant or wont do what is suggested but I guess now I am doing the same with my "I cant afford a therapist" excuse but I honestly can not fit it in the budget, I would have to literally not pay a house or car payment to afford it. But I do thank everyone for the advice.

I actually have another name on this forum but I cant post this information there because my husband reads it. Just a quick note about myself, I have lost 100% of my excess weight and have a BMI between 21 and 22. I am very happy with my size and weight. My husband hates my new body. He calls me bony and hates the fact that my boobs are gone. He says my pelvis is sharp and hurts when we have sex. We fight all the time and I am afraid we are headed toward a divorce. Anybody else have these problems?