brry1969

I do it constantly and I'm a year into it. I only get it from eating, not drinking. It makes me completely insane but a small price to pay to help me lose this weight!!

Don't get me wrong, not scared of surgery at all, I've been thru many. I'm scared to death of what happens next. I keep hearing people saying that they know someone that didn't lose any weight. I feel like I'm completely unprepared for this. I don't know what I'm supposed to do what I'm supposed to eat. I've got so many emotions and I've been so depressed the past few days. I don't know anyone who's done this and I haven't told anyone I'm doing it except my husband and parents b/c I didn't want anyone to sabotage me as people have done for years while I've been trying to lose the weight and kept gaining more. I feel so alone and I really have no one to talk to about it b/c no one in my life gets it. I come from a family of thin people...I got heavy as a result of injuries and surgeries that left me unable to exercise but definitely able to eat. Sadly even after deciding to do this almost a year ago, I've GAINED over 30 pounds in the past few months when I should have been trying to lose. I think in the past week I've eaten several pounds of chocolate b/c I'm going to miss it so much. I guess I'm angry too b/c I let myself get this out of control that I'm just shy of 300 pounds and I used to weigh 120 before all the surgeries started. I shouldn't use that as an excuse either b/c I dieted many times over the years and got down to a reasonable size but never smaller than a 14 in the past 10 years. Now I have only 3 pairs of pants I can squeeze into and I've got to get control of my body again!!! I'm hoping that this is the answer but I'm so scared b/c what if it isn't??? I can't keep on this path!!

Well, I went thru with it yesterday. Yesterday was really sore and couldn't eat at all. Today, I tried some food, slowly did 2 protein shakes and some mashed potatoes and sugar free pudding and almost all 8 glasses of water. My doctor isn't of the school of doing a liquid diet for a while and wants me on soft food immediately. I'm sore and still scared but now that I've made the leap, there's no turning back!!! I am taking care of me and let my parents take care of my kids and they will be with them till tomorrow evening so I can get the rest I need which will reduce my anxiety. I have a follow up in a week and will start working with a nutritionist if I need to. I'm much more hopeful than I was 2 days ago.