brry1969

I do it constantly and I'm a year into it. I only get it from eating, not drinking. It makes me completely insane but a small price to pay to help me lose this weight!!

Well, I went thru with it yesterday. Yesterday was really sore and couldn't eat at all. Today, I tried some food, slowly did 2 protein shakes and some mashed potatoes and sugar free pudding and almost all 8 glasses of water. My doctor isn't of the school of doing a liquid diet for a while and wants me on soft food immediately. I'm sore and still scared but now that I've made the leap, there's no turning back!!! I am taking care of me and let my parents take care of my kids and they will be with them till tomorrow evening so I can get the rest I need which will reduce my anxiety. I have a follow up in a week and will start working with a nutritionist if I need to. I'm much more hopeful than I was 2 days ago.

Don't get me wrong, not scared of surgery at all, I've been thru many. I'm scared to death of what happens next. I keep hearing people saying that they know someone that didn't lose any weight. I feel like I'm completely unprepared for this. I don't know what I'm supposed to do what I'm supposed to eat. I've got so many emotions and I've been so depressed the past few days. I don't know anyone who's done this and I haven't told anyone I'm doing it except my husband and parents b/c I didn't want anyone to sabotage me as people have done for years while I've been trying to lose the weight and kept gaining more. I feel so alone and I really have no one to talk to about it b/c no one in my life gets it. I come from a family of thin people...I got heavy as a result of injuries and surgeries that left me unable to exercise but definitely able to eat. Sadly even after deciding to do this almost a year ago, I've GAINED over 30 pounds in the past few months when I should have been trying to lose. I think in the past week I've eaten several pounds of chocolate b/c I'm going to miss it so much. I guess I'm angry too b/c I let myself get this out of control that I'm just shy of 300 pounds and I used to weigh 120 before all the surgeries started. I shouldn't use that as an excuse either b/c I dieted many times over the years and got down to a reasonable size but never smaller than a 14 in the past 10 years. Now I have only 3 pairs of pants I can squeeze into and I've got to get control of my body again!!! I'm hoping that this is the answer but I'm so scared b/c what if it isn't??? I can't keep on this path!!