melzie_99

@blondeej: I totally feel your pain. When I was in college and dating my husband I remember getting down to 165. As soon as I got a job and money, however, that weight slowly came creeping back... . I think I was around 185 when I got married; not bad for me but fast forward about 6 years and I'm currently about 265 (and that's AFTER the 12-15 pounds I lost recently). I also had problems with anxiety and depression; took antidepressants for years and was finally weaned off about 2 years ago. We have nothing to be ashamed of; it's done. We can't change what happened, but we can do our best to make sure it doesn't happen again. As far as the emotional eating is concerned, again I feel your pain. It is something I have struggled with for as long as I can remember, but the more research I do for the surgery the more determined I am to break the cycle. There have been days where the "need" to eat because I was upset was literally causing me physical pain...I know it's rough. Journaling has been helping a lot; something to distract you long enough to let the moment pass. And I know, it takes a LOT of willpower, but I've noticed the more conscious effort I make, the easier it's becoming. Keep in touch; I know we'll both be successful on our journeys, and stay focused and positive!

Haven't had surgery yet, but glad to see I'm not the only one who avoids shorts like the plague. Can't wait until I just feel COMFORTABLE; looks and weight wise. I look forward to not feeling like I'm stealing more than my fair share of the seat on a plane, not get winded from walking down the street to the mailbox, heck, maybe even RUNNING. I also can't wait until the day I no longer outweigh my husband; he's only about 165 and I think we weighed the same amount in college but I've totally gained way too much. Seeing a weight that begins with the number 1, not having to use a CPAP anymore...I was even thinking about how wonderful it will be if and when I need to get my wedding rings sized back down. (Can you tell I'm a bit excited?)

I've been contemplating the same thing; my dad and I are pretty close and he always seems to know when something's going on with me so keeping secrets is hard. However, from the response I've gotten from my sisters (and I haven't even been approved yet), I don't think I'm going to tell anyone other than my husband. Being that my family is thousands of miles away, I figure I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. However, telling people you've lost weight from eating less and exercise (which I know will be required) isn't a lie per se but the whole omission of the truth does bother me. Keeping secrets from family is a lot harder than a random inquisitive person.

I have Triwest as well and have had issues in the past getting surgery approved (took almost 2 years to get a medically necessary breast reduction) but so far my PCM and the surgeon's office seem confident I should have no problems with approval (I've heard that one before...). My BMI is 43.5 and my doctor listed 4 comorbidities in my referral; I see the surgeon on the 8th. Fingers crossed everything works out but part of me feels like if I get denied I won't fight it...good luck to everyone.

I'm kind of in the same boat as you; I was finally able to see my doctor for a referral and see the surgeon on 12/8. They're making me do everything pretty much that day: first a 3 hour nutrition class, followed by the surgeon consult and psych eval. I was so excited before, now I'm just nervous. Both my dr and the surgeon's office are confident I will qualify for surgery, and now that everything's finally moving along I'm getting really nervous. Is this normal you think?

I think it's a majorly personal decision. I have been through WW officially 3 times and once on my own; always lose weight but then gain back even more. I think it's a good program, just takes a lot of dedication like the band will. I personally am hoping to qualify for the band because I have a hard time feeling full and I want to be able to maintain weight loss once and for all. I, unfortunately, share pretty much the same health issues as you, and those are my major motivators for losing the weight. Hey, some people on this site use both the band AND WW, so who knows? Either way, I wish you well on your journey...

@AvasMom: You are very fortunate. By the time my appointment with my PCM actually comes, I will literally have been waiting 2 MONTHS to see him, and this is my first appointment with him, period. We just moved to this base in August and I've been trying to get in since October. I hope to God he will give me a referral and I won't need to see him again for anything else WLS related, or at this rate I may never get it done.

I attempted to speak to a Tricare rep to see if surgery requirements they tell us are any different than what's on the website. I don't know if I got a bad rep or what but she flat out told me she couldn't tell me anything because then "everyone would know what we were looking for". Um, yeah, hence my call. I can't fake my weight and comorbidities; what harm is it going to cause for you to let me know what you require so I don't waste yours and the medical director's time? *sigh* Sometimes I HATE working with Tricare; when they work they're wonderful but fighting with them about stuff is just tiresome. Luckily the office of the surgeon I would be seeing has been much more helpful with giving me info. Now if I could just get an appointment with my PCM...

I was actually honest about my weight on my DL this time around, as I have no intention of ever being that heavy again. Haven't had surgery yet, but can't wait until the day I have to get a new one for just that reason!

@Price5: I totally feel your pain; I'm 29 and wanting surgery, but no one seems to think it's necessary. I've only talked to my husband and one of my sisters about it, and neither one of them thinks I should do it. Actually talked to the hubs about it today and while he said he wants me to be happy, he also thinks the surgery is "cheating" (this coming from someone who is 5'11 and 175 on a heavy day). It's very frustrating, I know, especially when you're doubting whether or not you really need the surgery. I agree with all the other posters; at the end of the day it's something we need to do for ourselves. Sometimes we need to put ourselves first so we can be there for others later on down the road.

Hi Cheryl, I also live in Montana (Great Falls); are you having your surgery at Benefis? If so, I'd love to hear more about the pre-op requirements and how your surgery goes! I've been speaking with Dr. Roher's assistant Lisa; she's been very helpful so far :thumbup:

I would check out the food and nutrition forum/posts on this site as well; lots of info in there!

Well, just found out ANOTHER one of my friends is pregnant; this is killing me! I know I can't be upset when I'm not trying to get pregnant, but it really does make me sad that I haven't experienced that joy yet. I've got to keep telling myself my time will come but I've got to be healthier first.

I agree that Oprah and Kirstie Alley would probably benefit from WLS seeing how much those 2 yo-yo diet... Jennifer Hudson I wondered about, but I really do think she did WW and had a trainer working her butt off. Think that's why she's so prominent in the commercials; first celebrity I remember seeing in them. Drew Carey and John Goodman I think both did it the old fashioned way; from what I've heard people who are heavy drinkers normally lose a lot of weight when they finally stop (beer drinkers, anyway), and if you read about Drew's diet it was so severe I'm surprised he's not thinner. Hopefully they can both keep off their weight...

I've been curious about this myself; I REALLY want to get banded and lose at least 70% of the weight before I have a child. Patience is getting the best of me, however; while I am only 29 I'll have been married 6 years in Jan and I know 14 (that's right, FOURTEEN) people who are either pregnant or had babies this year (one had twins). Needless to say, the pangs are getting to me. I don't get to see my dr for a referral until Dec, but the surgeon's office has been awesome about answering my questions and think I'm a perfect candidate, so fingers crossed I'd like to be banded by Valentine's Day. However, the surgeon's office has posted on their website they expect you to wait at least 18 months before getting pregnant, and while it makes sense I think it'll drive me crazy if I lose sight of my goal. *sigh* Anyhoo, I guess right now the biggest focus should be getting healthy for ourselves to decrease complications for the little ones down the road...

Ok, I need a moment to vent...here goes. So I went to brunch with my husband today and about halfway through commented "Boy, I'm getting full, but I'd better get used to this if I get the surgery". My husband asked me what the surgery is supposed to do, to which I replied it helps you eat less. He then proceeded to say quite smugly "well, why do you need surgery for that? Look at me" and then took a bite of his food then pushed his plate away and said "see, I'm eating less". He seemed to think this was hilarious but I was angry at first then became a bit upset. I tried to stay calm and explained the logistics of the surgery and he pretty much just said "do what you want; it's not my body". This is the kind of stuff that gets me so frustrated; he will never understand what it's like to be overweight. We've been together 8 years and he struggles to GAIN weight; he's only weighed more than 165 for about 2 months since I've known him and eats crap all the time and exercise only when his job requires it. While sometimes he's very supportive and tells me he wants me to do what makes me happy, it's this attitude of you're not trying hard enough from him and others that makes me just want to give up. It's kind of like the other day when I was talking to my sister who had the initial negative response to me mentioning surgery. I told her I want to lose enough weight and get off my BP meds and she said "well, Tiffany (my other sister) and I are smaller and still have high BP; it runs in the family and I don't think that's going to help you". So am I just supposed to accept the fact that I've been on 2 BP meds for over 5 years and I'm only 29 because it "runs in the family"? So does diabetes; if I end up with that because of my weight should I accept that as well? Argh! I don't understand why people are so against surgical intervention when we're literally killing ourselves little by little when we have weight related illness. IDK; I'm just really frustrated right now...

It's a decision I've been struggling with myself; having to wait a long time to see my dr for the referral is just giving me more time to second guess myself. On my own I'm always able to lose 10-20 lbs but no more than that and end up gaining back more; time to break the cycle! I've been chatting with the surgeon's office and they are confident I met my insurance company's requirements; thought I'm scared of the thought of going through with this I'm more afraid of what might happen if I don't. Can't wait for the day when I no longer need my CPAP and blood pressure meds! No matter what you decide, I wish you well on your journey...

*************** I'm using Windows and all I get are lap band and Protein drink ads as well...man, the food ads have to suck!

Give them time, but remember at the end of the day you're doing this for yourself and no one else. When I first discussed surgery with my husband years ago he told me he couldn't respect someone who lost weight via surgery. Talked to my sister about it a few days ago and got the "but you've lost weight before, why do you need that?" and then proceeded to get upset. Both have done a 180; neither like the idea of me having surgery but my sister has since called and apologized for being selfish and my husband says he just wants me to be happy and supports me no matter what. Just have to keep telling ourselves we need to put ourselves first sometimes...

I totally hear where you're coming from; I have yet to see my dr for my referral (appts are booked solid until Dec) and the longer I have to wait the more I second guess myself. I see those WW commercials or those people on the Today Show who lost weight without surgery and wonder to myself " why can't I do that?" The fear of my health declining or gaining it all back (if I could lose it at all), however, make me want to keep working towards the band. As far as the food is concerned, from what I've read in the other posts, you won't WANT to have those food due to some of the possible side effects . Well wishes no matter what you decide...

I've been reading a lot of posts about Tricare and their requirements, and a lot of the tests are things I've had done in the past. Does anyone know how recent your test results need to be? I had a sleep study about 3 years ago (have sleep apnea, use a CPAP), had fasting glucose done about a year ago, and EKG, ECG and 24 heart moniter over the summer (in July; had allergic reaction to new BP med), and am already scheduled to see a nutritionist and exercise physiologist on 11/15 (scheduled before I was interested in lap band surgery). From reading what others have said about Tricare in Montana, I really want to get the ball rolling; my PCM keeps going on vacation and I can't get in to see him until 12/2 (have been waiting 2 months for my first appt; ridiculous). I intend to bombard him about getting a referral. I just want to know if anyone knows if Tricare will accept tests done BEFORE a PCM referral? Thanks

You guys have made me glad I joined this forum; thank you for your kind words and sound advice. You're absolutely right; part of my problem IS putting the opinions of others first...time to do something for me for a change. Will continue to try on my own until my dr's appointment and see what happens, but think I'm officially over the fence. Good luck to you all and I wish you continued success!

Hi all, I'm new to this forum but have found a wealth of info so thank you. Here's my story/question: I've been overweight almost all my life. I managed to lose 30 lbs in high school from a horrible low/no fat diet regimine my mom put me on after seeing a nutritionist; gained a lot of it back. Got to college; was a poor student so lost a LOT of weight and actually got down to about 165; family thought I had an eating disorder or something. Fast forward about 8 years and now I hit 278 at my highest (I'm only 5'5, mind you). Was sent to a diabetic dr (not diabetic) who stuck me on 2 BP meds due to my family history, have developed sleep apnea, suffered with depression in the past, and generally hate what I see when I look in the mirror... Long story short (too late, I know), a dr suggested the lap band to me during a checkup; though I've comtiplated WLS it scared me and I always saw it as the "easy way out". Mentioned it to my husband who informed me I could do what I wanted but he'd have no respect for me if I took this route. Got an equally negative reaction from one of my sisters; have stopped talking to family about it. Everyone seems to think it should be so easy for me to lose weight if only I was "more dedicated". While I manage to lose about 10-15lbs with diet and exercise, I never seem to get past that mark. No one seems to understand how hard this journey has been for me and I'm tired of trying only to fail. So here's my question (I know, FINALLY...lol): how do you get your family to support you, and was it a difficult decision to make to have the surgery? Part of me thinks this will force me to be disciplined with diet/exercise, but then looking AT the restrictions wonder "If I can do all that, couldn't I lose weight WITHOUT the surgery"? I don't know. I'm trying to schedule an appointment with my dr, but just feel really unsure about it all right now; thanks in advance for your time and for letting me vent. :eek: