I am in a similar predicament. My wife had surgery almost three months ago and is making incredible progress. In order for our insurance to cover the surgery, she had to go through physician supervised weight loss. She started that around April and is on the cusp of hitting the 100 lb. mark. She has done an amazing job and I am so proud of her.
Unfortunately, it seems as if the more success she is having, the worse off our marriage is getting. I never imagined this would put such a strain on our marriage. I have been reading the statistics involving divorce after weight loss surgery and it is not very reassuring. I have searched the 'net for anything close to a spousal support group for lap band patients. No success so far. I registered for this forum hoping to find something.