slm2007

I laughed at this comment because I hate when my phone "fixes" my words for me.....one day something smelled like "ribs" instead of smelled like "him" - - - -

If anyone is paying attention, I've been on here whining a lot lately about how frustrated I am. Quick synopsis, I was banded 4/18 and have had 4.5 cc in my 11 cc band. I'm hungry. Frustrated and hungry. I weigh, measure and walk 4-5 days a week (more than I ever did before). I'm not perfect but I'm so, so much better at my eating than I used to be. I am supposed to keep calories around 1,100 but can't keep it below 1,300 on a really good day and I am not even counting the calories from my Protein powder, which I just realized when I printed my journal today. Anyhow, I have to go to dr. on Wednesday for a follow up and I know I haven't lost a single pound in 6 weeks. I'm taking my journal with me, but how do I approach this with her. I always end up just accepting what she tells me and I'm not happy with how I'm feeling. I'm not feeling anything. I'm getting no "help" from this tool. She always has a way of making me feel like I'm wrong. I told her last time that if I wanted to diet I could have done that on my own, but I thought this band was supposed to help me control my eating by making me feel full and satisfied....it's not. She said that band isn't going to help my hunger? What is it supposed to do then? I've read the link about restriction etc. that some people have suggested and it makes sense? Fluid in my band so I'm feeling something happening. I don't want to end up too tight and I'm willing to work with that but right now I can eat anything and as much of anything that I want in one sitting. I am not grazing. I thought that the band was supposed to help me feel "full and satisfied" on a small amount of food....it's not. Anyhow, I'd like to know how you approached your dr.'s when making sure you got more of a fill? Can I insist on one? What if she doesn't want to do it? She doesn't put me down but I just feel like a failure when I go there. She says that the band isn't going to control my hunger and stop me from eating. I get that it won't stop me from eating that even if I'm full I can still eat as much as I want to....I know that part is up to me to STOP when I'm FULL....my problem is that I"m not getting full until I eat almost a "regular/presurgery " portion. I have to stop myself and then inevitably, I'm hungry ...stomach hungry...in a hour or two. Suggestions would be appreciated because I have a way of just letting them talk over me and I don't want to do that this time. I'm getting nowhere fast and I want something to start happening. What is the band supposed to make me feel like? And, how do I explain it to her so she listens that NOTHING is happening here. Thanks everyone...in advance! Staci

Thanks Dave: Yes, I do realize now that I'm carb heavy. I think I was concentrating so hard on getting protein and calories correct, that I didn't pay attention to the carbs I was eating. I'm going to work on that! I know the band won't do the magic for me....I'm willing to work with it and maybe once I get the carbs under control it will start to fall into place because like I said, right now, I feel like it is ALL up to me and there is no appetite dimming at all Back to the drawing board and THANK YOU everyone for the words of encouragement.....I really need it right now. :thankyou:

Well, went for my fill today...gained 2 pounds...SERIOUSLY! Anyhow, yes, she made me cry but that is not unusual when I'm frustrated. She explained that I need to get off the carb bandwagon. I thought I was doing so well and following the rules for the most part because I was getting the Protein in. I was really, really trying to watch my calories and make sure I got good protein, however, my carbs were apparently too high for her liking. I admit that I was rarely below or at 1,100 calories but never above 1,500 (and that was on two super bad days). But as I said, I'm hungry and she said it is the carbs fault...okay I get it. She said if I lay off the carbs I should be much better. I again expressed to her that I'm frustrated because I feel like I'm on a diet and I don't want to live on chicken, salad, eggs and tuna! I want to feel fullness/satisfied with two bites of a hamburger patty (no bun). I want to feel something is happening and nothing is happening....again she blamed it on the carbs. Maybe she is right? I have been proud of myself for the huge changes I've made, i.e. going from probably 3,000+ calories a day to 1,300-1,500 per day, and walking 45 minutes a day but apparently that isn't good enough. She told me there is no such thing as a "sweet spot" and that is not what the band is about? I dont' get it? What is the band for then? If it isn't stopping me from eating (you know what I mean, I know I can eat as much as I want) but if it isn't helping control my hunger, why did I get surgery? What is the purpose? I know I have to work it but honestly, I could have starved myself with 1,100 calories, been hungry and walked without a band being put in place? If she tells me there is no sweet spot that people talk about, why is the band even done? I'm so mad right now. She gave me .5cc' fill and I'm so freaking sore right now and I have a huge black and blue mark on my stomach. I just don't get the purpose of this band and why the recommend it if it is all up to you? She says I'm not willing to sacrifice? Seriously? I've done a lot of changes in my life but you are telling me that I have to live on chicken, fish, eggs and veggies....sorry. I'm going to end this rant now because I have a feeling I'm just going to start rambling and making no sense. Thanks for listening. Really, no sweet spot? Then ALL these people must be wrong? I don't understand what the purpose of this surgery was anymore.....I just don't get it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!!! I have been on here several times the past few weeks whining about my non-existent "restriction" and the fact that I'm not losing and I'm hungry....stomach hungry, not head hungry. I have expressed my frustration with feeling like I'm on yet another diet roller coaster and I got the band because I didn't to be put on a diet...I wanted that restriction and lack of hunger so I could control it. I don't mind working with my band but my band isn't working with me yet. Will power has never been my strong point obviously, or I wouldn't have resorted to surgery. Anyhow, reading your posted has given me a little silver lining and I'll keep chugging along. Everyone on here is so awesome when it come to support and suggestions and although I hate to hear others are struggling, it is comforting to hear that others are in the same boat and that I'm not the oddball. I'm so thrilled that you have found your "Zone" - - - can't wait to find mine. I also have a Realize band and I think that it is 11 cc's, and I only have 4.5 in mine....gosh it is going to be a long haul to get there if they only give me .5cc's per fill.....ugh! I just want to not be hungry, I want that cup of food to satisfy me, I just want to feel something happening, other than the port digging into my ribs. Thanks for the information and knowledge that you have found...... Staci

I've had two fills in my Realize and they never did this at all that I'm aware of. I know one time she got the needle stuck and had to practically rip it out of the port....that was interesting. Didn't hurt but felt strange all that pulling and tugging. I go tomorrow for another fill (hopefully) and I'll pay attention to see if she takes anything out or not.

Thanks for this information.....I was just thinking the same thing. I bought a dress yesterday for a wedding and could actually use a size smaller but am not comfortable with all the jiggle happening, so something like this might help me feel more comfortable in the smaller size. I just didn't want to spend a ton of money and I have a body hugger from before but it is so uncomfortable and it is impossible to get down if you have to use the bathroom so it was worn once and stuck in a drawer. I'll look into these Flex ones. I had spanx but don't know where they went.

Wow, what an inspiration to me. Thanks for the little kick that I needed to know it can be done. I'm super stuggling right now and am frustrated. I'll hang in there and hopefully start feeling some success soon.

THANKS everyone. You guys rock. Yes, I do have a Realize band but I found this site before I was banded and figured Lap, Realize, it doesn't really matter, we are all bandsters, right? I wonder if it is possible to just tell her to shoot me up to 5.5cc and see how I do. I can't imagine going through this for another 6 weeks until I get to 5.5. She said she only gives .5cc' which is the high-end of a fill? So if I'm at 4.5 cc's now, I get a .5 cc fill on Wednesday, I'm going to have to wait another 6 weeks for another .5 cc's.....I'm going to go insane! I'd like her just to try a full 1 cc on Wednesday. This was a really good post for me to write. Dave, that was awesome advice and suggestions. Thanks so much. I know I really need to start listening to my body. I measure and try to watch but I still think to myself "this can't be enough food to fill me up." I guess my eyes are still in the old mind set?? I need to listen to my body and once in awhile I'll get that soft-stop and a little sigh will happen but most of the time I finish my "bandster portion" and I sit and wait, drink and wait, yep, still hungry. I just want to be "full" on my bandster portion, I'm still working on the head hunger and boredom hunger, but that is why I say I'm good most of the time. I know I'm not perfect and I'm not expecting perfect results. I follow the rules 90% of the time which is awesome compared to how I used to be and I'm changing my ways so I'm not expecting miracles just something for my effort and some help from my "tool." I do portion control and eat off an 8" square plate. I do not overfill and have my portion control spoons and even those give you a lot of food...too much for my little plate. Maybe I'm just carbing it too much? I'll have to pay attention to that more. Thanks again, you guys are awesome.

First, let me say that your title scared the heck out of me! Second, now that I've gained my composure, Congratulations on your weight loss! That is a great way to put things in perspective....I've lost a bag of potatoes lol...... Congrats and keep up the great work!

Apparently, my health insurance is no longer going to be allowed at certain places and the thousands of us that have this form of BC/BS are going to be out in the cold and looking for new doctors. It's a long big mess! Anyhow, I have a feeling I'm going to have to find a new "fill" place and wondered if anyone had to do this and how difficult it is to find another doctor to take over? Just curious

Thanks for this...not that I'm glad I'm not alone in this struggle, but I'm glad I'm not alone. I also tell myself that at least I'm not gaining but seeing the scale move 1 pound in 4 weeks is very frustrating!

ahhhhh, jellytots.....you could be me!!! I had mine done on 4/18/11, first two fills and I feel NOTHING. I could eat a horse if i wanted to. I posted just the other day that I "need a swift kick in the arsss" (that was my post heading) and I feel the same way you do. I'm frustrated, I know all the "Rules" but nothing is happening. I'm hungry, I rarely get full with my measured alloted food amount so I eat more and I can't stay under my 1,100 calories. Everyone tells me to stick it out, that once we reach the sweet spot things will start happening so all I can tell you is that you are not suffering alone. I didn't expect a miracle, and I know this is a "tool" like everyone tells me but I thought this tool was supposed to help me. I get angry because if I wanted to be in a 1,100 calorie diet and starve myself, I could have done that without surgery. I thought this surgery was supposed to make the 1,100 calorie DIET a little easier to deal with and get through. I failed diets and I feel like I'm failing this too. I want my band to work with me and so far it isn't cooperating. We just have to stick it out. I do my best but try not to kick myself too hard anymore if I can't follow all the rules because I'm legitimately hungry....not head hungry...stomach hungry. I talk to myself to see which it is...if I'm stomach hungry, I eat. Good luck, stick it out and we just have to keep following our rules and do the best we can till we "get the spot".... Good luck to you

Hooray for BONES! Yaaa hoooo.....congrats, and here's to finding more bones in the future

I'm just not getting it, am I? I don't know what my problem is! I was so motivated getting this surgery. I had goals, ideas and thoughts about this surgery. This was IT, this was my answer to my problems. Yes, it was going to be work but something was going to actually HELP me get this under control. I've vented, cried, gotten frustrated etc. I just don't know why I can't get it under control. I KNOW the rules, I KNOW the band isn't magic, I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.....what the he!! is my problem. I'm frustrated that I'm doing what I'm supposed to and I'm hungry and not losing. I'm frustrated that I'm frustrated. I know I probably need another fill and once I get a good sweet spot that perhaps things will start falling into place but I'm so disgusted with my lack of initiative anymore....guess that's why I'm fat in the first place....diets don't work for me and I'm on another diet. Yes, I get it....it's a lifestyle change...I'm working on it. I'm trying and I've made huge adjustments compared to how I used to be and I guess that is a plus on my side. I'm just mad at myself because I thought I'd be so much better at this than I am. I had high hopes for myself. I don't get full easily. When I do get satisfied, I'm hungry again in two hours. It doesn't happen all the time but more often than I think it should. I'm getting pretty good Protein in for each meal too. I'm supposed to be at 1,100 calories per day and am still about 1300-1500 per day. I'm exercising 4-5 days per week - walking. this is much more than I ever did before. I was banded on 4/18/11 and have only had 2 fills for a total of 4.5 cc in an 11cc band. Anyhow, I think I just need a swift kick in my butt.....at this point, that might not even help my lack of motivation. I guess I was kind of hoping this would be a little bit of a help to me and not another "DO IT YOURSELF" diet and so far that is what I'm dealing with and failing at again. Okay, the pity party is over thanks for listening......gonna go drink my crystal light. Let the bashing begin.....but like I said, I'm not stupid and I know this isn't a magic wand. i'm working it but so far it isn't working with me.....that is what I find frustrating and I hope I find that sweet spot soon...

Seriously??? OUCH!!!

First THANKS to everyone for the great comments. I do love this board because even when I ask for a kick in the butt, I get great words of encouragement. You are right....this is my journey....but we all want "those" results, and while I'm so excited for those who are doing so well, I'm admittedly so stinking jealous. This "head hunger" was a huge adjustment for me and one thing that I can say I have really done well at overcoming. I used to eat out of boredom and despite all my whining about "dieting" again, this is a huge adjustment I've made in this Lapband life. I know that head hunger was part of my prior issues.....and I talk to myself ALOT if I'm hungry or just bored and head hungry. I'd eat cuz I had nothing else to do, cuz I was sad, bored, angry, whatever. It's a 50/50 shot that I'm physically hungry vs. bored hungry. Even if I'm physically hungry, I'll drink something first to see if it goes away but most of the time I end up eating something else because I can feel myself starting to get the shakes and I know it's not head hunger. I do talk to myself a lot and it is hard sometimes when husband and son are sitting there eating even the sugar free fudgesicles (which I love) and I try not to give in because I'm trying to stay under the 1,100 calories and even if they are sugar-free it is still 80 calories or something like that. Last week I had the worst craving for Twix candy bars.....I don't even really like them and never was a big candy eater....so I had no idea why I had the impulse to buy them. Anyhow, it is 250 calories for two bars....I ate one on one day and one on the next day...not bad, not good but not bad. BUT, then the "monthly" started and I figured out that is what was controlling my craving. It started and no more cravings....strange how our body works. I'm doing well with not drinking my calories but my big problem is that I love coffee.....LOVE IT! \Mmy mother used to say to me "would you like some coffee with your cream" - - I like a lot of cream, no sugar, but not skim milk or stuff like that...the good stuff. I've cut back on it but I know I'm getting some calories from that. I've given up fast food (which was an issue) and I think if I give up my coffee too....I'll end up in the looney bin.... I really really do appreciate all your kind words and encouragement. Great place to vent and thanks for not kicking me too hard. :grouphug: Thanks for letting me get it out.

I have a horrible sweet tooth so I have to add a package of Equal or Splenda to it....I like the HOney or the fruit on the bottom type. I had a hard time with it too and I'm really struggling trying to do the "right things" good luck

PERFECT!

Just a question.....why am I the only one that named "her" a girl......is the band supposed to be a boy??? LOL - - maybe it is because it has a mind of it's own, but a female could be appropriate too because we change our mind when it suits us, we have an attitude and if we don't like something, BOY will we let you know

Come to think of it...maybe it was something like this. It has been bothering me for about two weeks now and I am the type of person who "watches and waits" for a while before calling a doctor but I did do some serious cleaning a few weeks ago and maybe did something then? I don't have stiches for the port because it is a Realize band and just popped on the muscle. I'll watch and wait a few more days and maybe give them a call to see what the doctor thinks.....if I should be seen before my fill appointment. Thanks

I was banded April 18, 2011 and have had a wonderful surgery/recovery experience. No problems....easy breezie....till now? I am sore. I feel like I've been punched in the side and should be black-n-blue (I'm not and wasn't). It hurts to walk and even take deep breaths. It is definately the port area and the rest of my stomach area is fine and not sore. That is the only way I can describe it...it's not unbearable but it is constantly "there" - - maybe like I've done 1,000 crunches straight out of the gate. It's not swollen like it is after a fill. I haven't done anything new and it feels like it is now "in the way" when I do things like clean the kitchen floor for example. I was bending maybe an awkward position but it never bothered me before...kind of like I was doing squats...to clean the floor and this port was really in my way and uncomfortable. Any thoughts? I go for my next fill on 8/10 so I'll bring it up then but don't know if I should do it sooner? Thanks - Staci

My friend helped me come up with the name "Pamela" - - here is the reasoning and it may change once I get to know my band better but here is the story of Pamela. My husband has been in a band since we met 17 years ago...well a few bands....and one day before my surgery my friend and I were talking about naming my "band"......my friend started brainstorming throwing out words like "band" "groupie" "music" etc... and somehow we started talking about the most famous groupie, Pamela Des Barres....therefore she says to me..."THATS IT, that's your bands name...Pamela" We tentatively talk about Pamela when referring to my band. Granted, Pam and I don't know each other that well yet and I may change her name when I learn more about her personality and how we are going to get along. Right now, sometimes I forget Pamela exists at this point but once things get moving along, she may change from Pamela to Zoe, Sophia, Ester, or SheDevil...

I was banded on 4/18/11 and would be thrilled to have lost 18 pounds in the time you did. I'm a slow loser (an obviously a poor loser too) but you are averaging a 2 pound a week weight loss which is awesome! I would love that. I lost 1 pound in 4 weeks! Keep up the good work

I understand where you are coming from. I just posted on here about how frustrated I am because I'm not "feeling any different." I was banded 4/18/11 and am still learning. I try to pay attention and have finally learned that I "Sigh" a little when I'm done....I don't eat till full anymore, I listen to my sigh to come and then I stop. My problem is that my sigh happens and I stop but I'm hungry again in about 2 hours. That is what is frustrating to me. I am stomach hungry not head hungry so I eat and I just don't feel like I'm accomplishing much. We can do this.