allgravybaby13

All my life I have struggled with weight. The only time that I can remember being thin was that awkward phase that almost everyone goes through when they are in their teens. It's the one where first you grow sideways, then you grow straight up haha :-) for me, this happened around 8th grade until about the 11th grade. That was the about the only time in my life when I have been at the healthy weight for my height and age. I struggle with an underactive thyroid, so losing weight for me has always been one of the biggest issues consuming my life. When I reached college in Fall of 2005, many things began to happen at once. I found myself in a physically and mentally abusive relationship for about a year. As my self esteem was destroyed, I found myself gaining weight. I had stretch marks that were out of control and constantly had to get new clothes that I could fit into. I found myself struggling with anxiety and depression, dropping out of college, withdrawing from all of my classes, and just working while living away from home. This all happened from 2006-2008. Then, in 2009, I finally found it in me to get myself back into school and move on with my life. You can't control the bad things that happen to you, but you can control how you react to it. The only thing is ...that after 5 years of torment and an uphill struggle, I have found myself to be at my heaviest. I have tried everything to get my weight back down to what it used to be in high school (I can't believe that I thought I was fat back then! If the me of today could go back and slap some sense into the me back then, I would definitely do it!) I tried crash diets, atkins (raised my cholesterol a ridiculous amount), south beach, nutrisystem, the miracle three day diet, and even weight watchers. Some worked for a little while, but I only ever lost a few pounds and found myself putting the weight back on in a matter of weeks. I would even go to the gym, take my medications regularly,  and watch what I ate...but that yielded the same results. A few pounds of weight loss and disappointment. I felt pretty much hopeless. I remember I was watching TV and I saw a commercial for the lap band. The person in the video said, "If I only lost the weight..."...a thought that I have been obsessing over for way too long. I thought to myself that I probably wouldn't qualify for something like this...but maybe I should check it out anyway. I went online and went through the "The LapBand is right for you if..." checklist, and I found that I did qualify. I asked my parents how they felt about me doing something like this. Surprisingly, they were for it. They told me that I should do this now while I'm still young, and not wait to lose the weight. That is when I found myself going to a seminar and setting up monthly meetings with my Family Practitioner back home. I am currently two months away from getting the "ok" for surgery, and I cannot wait! I am so excited for what life has in store for me!