tonkabelle

Hiya Hopee, I am so glad to hear that I'm not the only one with a myriad of concerns. I'm in the Caribbean actually, but very near USA. Lived in St Catherines ON for a year (boarding school) which seems eons ago. I'm so confused and conflicted at the moment because my surgeon has just told me that he'd prefer to go with bypass instead of banding...I have always been adamantly opposed primarily because i have never had any major hospital stays and frankly I guess I'm just a wuss. The whole permanancy thing freaks me out not to mention, dumping, absorption issues, etc. etc. I suppose another reason I was leaning towards Lapband is because I still felt I had some sort of control...but then perhaps that's exactly what I don't need. Oh I don't know really. I guess it's just that I'd finally convinced myself that banding is what is desperately necessary and now it seems like I've had a wrench thrown into the plans. After such extensive investigation and research, preparation and even forum joining (!!) I'm now going to have to start all over again (well, sort of). I don't know exactly what to expect with bypass, etc. Silly I know, but I've kept myself busy for the past several days by gluing myself to youtube videos and blogs about people's lapband journeys/success/experiences/tips, etc. ...now I'm back to square one, having to find a new set of support tools. I don't know, maybe I'm just looking for excuses. It's gotten so extreme that I'm starting to think that I may actually cave and talk things over with the 'rents before I leave for Trinidad. The good thing is that surgeru is still scheduled for the 18th so if I 'man up' and decide to just bite the bullet then we'll still be WLS buddies. :sneaky: Oh dear - rambling again... :w00t:

Hi everyone. I'm super new to everything (forum, website, everything), but felt that I just had to write because everyone sounds so supportive and enthusiastic...which is exactly what I need. Although I'm scheduled for Nov 18th, I'd be lying if I said that I'm just overjoyed. While I've finally come to terms with the fact that this IS the very best (and only) option for me, I'm still struggling to completely wrap my head around my choice. My mind is actually filled with conflicting emotions and I'm actually quite terrified. What have I gotten myself into? What if something goes wrong? Is getting this surgery a cop out or cheating? What if I ruin my family's Christmas (my dad is so excited that it will be the first Christmas when he has all of his kids home for the holidays)? What if I fail? What if this is just going to be one more thing to add to my pile of useless weightloss regimes? What if I end up making myself ill (I'm bipolar and just a bit concerned about post-op depression, etc.) What about all my curves? as much as I loathe my current size, but I actually enjoy the fact that the one thing that I do have are curves. I realise that I'm rambling, but I'm pretty all over the place. I'm lucky to have an aunt who knows all about the process and has lined me up with my surgeon, but I have not discussed anything with my parents or siblings because I don't want the drama of having them concerned or policing my actions. I know they mean well, but I'm afraid of having them watch me fail again. Both my parents are physicians and I get the impression that they both believe that I should be able to do it myself. I know that they want the best for me, but honestly I have always been 'the fat one' of the family. My dad's entire family has (had) a weight problem (him included) but my mother has always been slim...I've been the family 'project' for as long as I can remember, but I am finally doing this for me. I'm sorry for off-loading all of this on everyone, but I iwll do my best to be another supportive member of this group. NOVEMBER MEMBERS!!! YAY US!!!