tonkabelle

I've lived my entire life in my own shadow. I have always been the 'fat one' and frequently have been the pet project of my entire family. I am growing tired and frustrated (well, far more than normal) and am currently unable to control any other aspect of my life - school, job, housing, etc. - so I suppose this is my first stab at freedom.
I am desperate to learn more about this thing that I have somehow thrust myself into. I suppose part of me is quite certain that I have exhausted all other options, but that still doesn't make it any easier. I am still plagued with guilt - i.e. why can't i just do this like 'normal' people and lose weight? And am I really making a rational and responsible choice?
Deep down, as I've said I have no other options, Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, Meridian, Xenical, even DUKE Diet and Fitness has not helped 'fix' my problem(s). But for the love of all this good and holy...how can i becertain that this will?