cydbailey

I started gainign weight right after highschool and for the next 15 years I had gone from 135ld to 324lbs. I had one child in between all of those years. I was fat when I had the child so , that's not my excuse. I like many others have had pleanty of things that stress me out. I have done alot of things to try and manage it but the most dangerous thing that I have done was to become and emotional eater. happy, sad,  whatever..  I eat. A lot of the times I am not even hungry , I just eat cause I'm bored..sitting in the house watching TV .. I just have to eat.  so that is why I am fat. I am not a very outgoing person. I do get out but not a social butterfly. I mostly eat all the wrong thing.  sweets , fried foods  you know...  I decided that I was tired of all of the yo  yo diets so I decided to have the lapband procedure  as all of my bad eating habits have lead to multiple health problems. i.e. High blood pressure, diabetes type 2, depression you name it . I have it. ... I had the surgery, I have lost only 23lb and it has been over 1 year. I am so disappointed with myself becasue I know that I can do better. I have had my dr. to tighten my band  so tight until I was not able to swallow a pill in an effort to get this weight off me but i as you know I was not able to keep that very long. I have a 14cc band and the tightest I have been has been 11. I was living on ensure for awhile which is when i actuall ylost the most of my weight. now I am at 9cc as 11 was really to tight. I would wake up coughing and choking with terrible heartburn and food/liquid just coming out of my mouth. I was affraid I would choke to death in my sleep. I allowed this to go on about 1 month before I finally went to the dr and he advised me that I may have some irritation so he adjusted my band by 2 cc. that was 3 days ago. Now comes the failure... I have been eating every since he adjusted this band. I can eat anything I want. at 9cc. How is that possible? my friend is at 3 and she feels reall restricted. I have had several  adjustments in the past year becasue of me feeling like i am not restricted at all, that is how we reached 11. I feel like I am a failure. I tought that I was ready to manage my behavior towards stress but after he let some airout of me, I ran right back to doing the exact same thing.  hopefully me joining this group will help me get back on track. I should have lost much more weight than this. So if  you all will have me then i would really appreciate joining this support group. I need to be able to talk to ppl who understand what I'm trying to do and how hard i really am trying...