Overeating and Self-sabotage: Part Two

When I wrote my earlier article on overeating and self-sabotage, I realized that I had just touched the surface. Creating a mindset for success is critical if you want to end overeating and create a lasting peace with food. This is also true if you are trying to break free of struggles with stress, overload, and overwhelm. Little things add up and the way you talk to yourself and approach your life can have a big influence on whether you are sabotaging your success or creating changes that last.

Now is a perfect time to take a look at your thinking to make sure you are not falling prey to these five beliefs that can sabotage your success with overeating and emotional eating.

Five more self-sabotaging mindsets:

1. This is just something I have to accept/ it wasn’t meant to be. Many women live with the secret belief that they will never be successful. “I’ll always be fat.” “I’ll always struggle with food.” “I’m going to be dieting for the rest of my life.” If this sounds familiar—please pay attention. You are working against yourself every time you start a plan to change with the belief that you will fail. Put your efforts into goals and plans for growth that you can see success with. Start with a goal you can wrap your mind around. If you don’t believe you can lose 150 pounds (and you want to), set a goal that you believe you can achieve—even if it’s losing two pounds. Then, find someone who you trust who believes in you and can help you grow your belief in yourself. Changing this mindset will change your life. Truly.

2. Faulty filters. We see what we expect to see. Research has proven over and over that our brains are trained to collect information that confirms what we already believe and filter out the rest. That’s one reason becoming aware of mindsets that can lead to self-sabotage is so important. If you believe you are unlucky or a failure or that you are lazy or that you can’t live without dessert, you will find all sorts of evidence to confirm that belief. You will create that reality. You’ll also be highly likely to miss the other evidence—the things you do well, the strengths that you have, or the ways that you can be successful without that sweet treat at the end of a meal. Practice creating the filters that create success. Make an effort to notice your accomplishments and your good moments. Practice acknowledging gratefulness and times that you are lucky. Try this—practice seeing the good in yourself and making a note of three great things about you every single day.

3. I don’t have time. It’s time to take this sentence out of your vocabulary. Time is the great equalizer. We all get the same amount, every single day. We all choose how we spend and manage our time. How would it feel to replace “I don’t have time” with “I’m choosing to spend my time on something else”? The truth is, claiming time for you is a choice. Here’s another truth: claiming time for self-care and your other priorities can have a big impact on your success with emotional eating and overeating. Try scheduling your needs like you schedule everything else and see what happens.

4. It will upset people. If you want a sure way not to accomplish your goals, make it your mission to make everyone happy. It’s not possible. People get into self-sabotaging traps with overeating (and other unhelpful habits) when they neglect their own needs and feelings because they are trying to please others or avoid conflict. This becomes even more tangled up because many women overeat as a way to try to cope with conflict and other people’s anger or frustration. If you want to break free from overeating, learning to handle conflict with a degree of comfort will pay off big.

5. I missed out/I’m too old. Do you believe that it’s just too late for you? Here’s a way to turn that show-stopping belief on its head: if you feel like it’s late in the game, than the stakes are even higher. Life is short and every moment counts. Don’t make the self-sabotaging mistake of spending THIS moment looking over your shoulder regretting the past. Take a deep breath and own THIS moment. It’s the only one that you can count on and it is the only one that you can control. Set your sites on where you want to go and then get the help you need to start moving in that direction.

You write the story of your life. That story can stop you in your tracks and it can also propel you powerfully forward. The beauty is that you can edit and rewrite as you go along. Choose your mindset and your story carefully. Be mindful of feeding the beliefs you want to nourish and let the old unhelpful ones go hungry. That’s a powerful approach to taking control of overeating. Let me know what amazing changes you start seeing.