How to Be a WLS Success

HOW TO BE A WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY SUCCESS

When aspiring writers ask me, “How can I become a writer?” my answer is invariably, “Write.”

So, want to know how to be a successful WLS patient?

The answer is: “Be one.”

What does that mean? It means that I write every day. Other than finding or making the time to do it, it’s not hard, because I love to write. So to be a writer, I practice the art of writing every day. What I write varies, just as what you eat varies, depending on how much time I have and what I’m in the mood for. Within 15-30 minutes of getting up each morning, I write something. I write e-mails to my accountability partners, telling them about my eating, exercise, and perhaps some funny, or infuriating, or interesting stories about my daily life. I write down the thoughts I have about newsletter articles. I write lists of things to do and things to think about. At some point during each day, I write sentences or paragraphs or chapters of articles, essays, stories and books. I write journal entries that help me muddle through puzzling situations and relationships.

I also love being slim and healthy, so I practice the art of being slim and healthy every day. This too varies, but within 15-30 minutes of getting up each morning, I practice my healthy lifestyle. I update my food log and report my food plan and eating behavior to my accountability partners. I get dressed in workout gear and spend 45 minutes at an exercise class, 5 days a week. I write a weekly menu plan and I write my grocery list. Even when I’m doing something that isn’t directly related to weight and health, I’m practicing. I see a plate of home-baked cookies on the break room table at work and think about whether I want to eat one or if I’ll regret doing that. In a short 15 minute break, I practice good eating skills as carefully as I can despite feeling hurried. When I get in my car to go home and notice I’m thinking wistfully of Chicken McNuggets or Dulce de Leche ice cream, I take a deep breath and ask myself if I really need those things or just want them as a quick fix. I try to see myself driving home and preparing the healthy meal I’ve planned. I try to remember how good I felt when I did that the day before. I think about how happy my dogs will be if I get home on time (anybody who claims dogs can’t tell time has clearly never lived with a dog).

The key words in the two paragraphs above are “love” and “practice”.

If you’re thinking, “But I don’t love to diet!” maybe it’s time to adjust your thinking. Instead of thinking, “I hate dieting,” try this on for size: “I love being a WLS success.”

And it’s definitely time to discard the notion of being “on a diet”. A diet is something you do for a finite period (a week, a month, 3 months). It’s temporary, and when it ends, your eating goes back to the way it was before the diet, and lo and behold, the weight you lost comes back, and sometimes it brings all its friends. I know that for an absolute fact because it’s happened to me so many times since I was 14 or 15 years old.

Being a weight loss success means practicing healthy eating every day of your life, for the rest of your life. Some days may be healthier than others, and that’s OK. You’re just practicing, right? It doesn’t have to be perfect; it just has to be regular and ongoing. I don’t think about weight loss and health and all that good stuff every waking minute, and not all my thoughts are virtuous. I spend quite a lot of time thinking things like, “Why doesn’t that pickup truck just pass me rather than riding on my tail?” or “If he spits toothpaste on the mirror one more time, he's gonna die a painful death.” But thoughts about weight and health do go through my mind a few times a day. I’ve heard WLS patients say they never want to have to think about that stuff ever again. I don’t think I could succeed that way, and those thoughts are not a burden for me. The real burdensome thoughts I bear are ones like, “I should have hugged Mom more often before she died.”

Oh, I know that “shoulda, coulda” thoughts are a waste of time and energy. That’s probably why they’re so hard to bear. But that’s a topic for another article.

So, do you want success? I want to hear you say it, loud and proud:

I WANT TO BE A WEIGHT LOSS SUCCESS!

I WILL BE A WEIGHT LOSS SUCCESS!

I AM A WEIGHT LOSS SUCCESS!

And give yourself three cheers for your effort, even if you feel you haven’t yet achieved success. Sports teams get cheered at every game, whether they win it or not.

BE A CHEERLEADER

Speaking of cheering…

Sometimes your WLS journey seems endless, and you wish someone else would notice all the work you’re putting into it, and you wonder why no one else has noticed that hard work and praised you for the results. In Bandwagon I list some of the reasons other people don’t seem to notice your weight loss (#1 being that they’re preoccupied with their own issues), but you can set the stage for the cheerleaders you wish you had by becoming a cheerleader yourself. When you give out (deserved) compliments, smiles, and encouragement, all that good stuff will eventually come back to you. Other people are usually attracted to someone positive and optimistic. Of course, there are people who are attracted to the vulnerable loser I used to be, like several toxic ex-boyfriends I could name, but I’m no longer so desperate for attention that I’ll take abuse just so I won’t be alone.

Here’s an example of how cheerleading works. I have a young coworker who I’ll call Suzie. She is short and plump, with a sweet face and severe acne on her face, throat, chest, neck, and upper back. I often feel sorry for her when I look at her poor, inflamed skin, but pity isn’t going to do much for her, and I’d rather save my pity for the truly deserving people, like me. (Just kidding!) It’s hard for me to watch my young male associates flirting with the other girls and ignoring Suzie. But I don’t go up to Suzie and tell her those guys are idiots. I go up to her, gesture at her sweater and say, “Suzie, that color looks fabulous on you!” A smile lights up her face, and we go back to whatever we were doing before that exchange.

Two days later, Suzie finds me in front of a mirror, holding a sweater up to my middle-aged body, and she says, “Miss Jean, that would look great on you, but I think you need a smaller size.”

Get the idea? Try it - you might like it!

FAKING IT

I probably quote this saying too often, but it bears repeating now because it relates to the theme of this article. 12-step programs have a saying that never gets old and applies to anyone who’s trying to change or to live a better life:

FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT

At one point in my life, that saying struck me as disingenuous. I was hung up on being the “authentic” me and looked down on the idea of role-playing my way into a better place. But I was miserable being that “authentic” me, and faking it is one of the things that helped me learn how to be a happier me. Pretending to be a weight loss success is one of the things that made me a weight loss success, just as practicing scales is one of the things that makes a pianist into a virtuoso.

So, try it - you might like it!