Why We Were Obese: Our Community Speaks Out

Good observations.

One thing I have been thinking about lately, especially with many of the issues that are being brought to the surface because of the US political campaign is sexual abuse.

I know a large part of my obesity is the result of me building a literal wall against unwanted attention/pain.

Even though I never experienced overt sexual abuse, the memories of bullying, ostracism, ridicule, unwanted comments, catcalls, rejection, harassment, and discrimination are very vivid. Much of it because I am female, but more so because I am a fat female.

Good observations.

One thing I have been thinking about lately, especially with many of the issues that are being brought to the surface because of the US political campaign is sexual abuse/impression.

I know a large part of my obesity is the result of me building a literal wall against unwanted attention/pain.

Even though I never experienced overt sexual abuse, the memories of bullying, ostracism, ridicule, unwanted comments, catcalls, rejection, harassment, and discrimination are very vivid. Much of it because I am female, but more so because I am a fat female.

What a courageous post. Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry that you experienced this. I think your story is the story of many women. I experienced much if not all that you have stated. I always thank G-d that my family was full of unconditional love, where I was always accepted and appreciated. My mother and father, G-d bless them, created a wonderful home and life for my brother and me. xxx ooo I miss them so very much.

I was 7'12 oz at birth, my mother nursed me but was instructed to give me a bottle of Carnation evaporated milk after every feeding. At 1 year I was 369 inches tall and weighed the same. So I've never been petite and was dimpled with strawberry blonde hair, a big doll baby. I was 200 at 17 and that's the least adult weight carried. Was 230-250 until 68, now I cannot get below 300.

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@@Rosey posey have you had weight loss surgery, my love? I was premature and a tiny baby, 5 pounds and 5 ounces or something like that. By second grade I was very large. It was anxiety-related, of this I am sure. I used to have nightmares and wake up crying from a sound sleep filled with terror of going up the basement stairs of my grammar school, where the kindergarten and 1st grade classes were held, to the first floor where the second and third grades were held. I do not know why that certified me, but to this say I clearly see the vision of that dark stairwell.

Not yet but soon, sleep study Nov 3rd then full speed ahead. Incidentally the sizes were 36 lb and 36 inches tall on first birthday, this phone has a will of its own goes off on tangents at times

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It started really early with me and it was a combination of things. My family ate a lot of bread and baked goods, which my mom excelled at making and I loved. We didn't eat super healthy, and when my mom tried to make that stuff, I wouldn't eat it. I was a pill at restaurants, so McDonalds became the go-to for meals when they were out with me. I loved junk food. I was always just sort of a pudgy kid, not necessarily "fat" but heavier than my peers (and bigger in size, taller and broader shoulders). So I took a lot of teasing about my size/weight. I develped low self-esteem from the teasing about my body, but my classmates would react with amazement at how much I could eat at a sitting. I have a particular memory of sloppy joe days at school, which I loved but my classmates didn't...so I'd end up with a stack of 3-4 of them at least, and eat them all. I remember this primarily because a teacher came to me saying they didn't think I should be eating so much, and made me feel ashamed. But I had gotten attention for it from my classmates.

As I got older, I took more razzing from my peers the bigger I got...and I still wasn't THAT bad. But when I went out to play basketball in little league and we'd have to play shirts vs. skins in practice, I was almost always skins...and my flab would jiggle while I played, drawing laughs and jokes from teammates. Kids are just really blunt and cruel. I did lose some weight playing basketball, but my self-esteem took so many hits that I eventually quit athletics entirely.

By the time I graduated high school, I was 190 pounds or so...not terrible for a kid who was over 6' tall, but still heavy. However, it was when I went off to college that things really went south. I discovered that I couldn't do what I thought I was going to do (be a programmer) due to my lack of aptitude in math, and I became depressed. I started sleeping all day and staying up all night, which increased my depression. Which increased my eating, as a comfort. My mom would send care packages that invariably contained cinnamon rolls or Cookies, baked goods that she knew I loved. I ate like crap that year, and I went up to like 230-240 pounds. I dropped out and returned home, and started working random jobs...but I kept eating. Each threshold I'd near, 250 or 300, or 350...I would say, "This far, no further." And then I would blast right past them. I'd put on the breaks and reverse periodically when I got serious about a diet for 5-6 months, then I'd stall out, lose my willpower, fall off the wagon and go right back to my old habits again...and onward and upward.

Late last year, I decided it was time to put a stop to it and that the only way I was going to succeed, having dieted throughout the entire course of my life back to junior high, was to have surgery. I just couldn't achieve 200 pounds of fat loss through sheer will, it had become too monolithic. I needed the help. Now that I've done it, I feel such a sensation of hope, that it's not an "I wish I could lose weight" anymore, but an "I WILL lose the weight."

@@PorkChopExpress good for you for taking control of your health and your life. I had gastric bypass in 2003 and it saved my life. I was in my thirties, on ~9 prescription medications mostly for comorbid conditions of obesity, and 285 pounds. I know that I would not be here today if I had not had the surgery. My life is completely different today. It is a life well-lived rather than a life half-lived, as it had been in the past. I always had the love of my family surrounding me unconditionally and for that I am eternally grateful. It made me strong -- and we have to be strong to get through this journey in the long haul.