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Excess Skin: And the Emotional, Thick Skinned Woman

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Be honest: How does your extra skin make you feel?

I was watching the new show "Skin Tight" on TLC with the young lady who's name is Lauana, mentioning her excess skin and how it REALLY made her feel. I personally have always had the knack of pushing my feelings aside and just being happy with 'Good Enough'... but then she spoke.

I have always wanted to eventually get my skin removed, someday. I've been at or near goal for about 4 years now, or something like that. I've never really counted. But I also never acknowledged the fact that I may be more fit, healthier, smaller.. whatever, but I am not a finished product. I still have one more step to go and with watching that Television program I was slapped in the face with it. I need to have my excess skin removed.

To this day I've never ever shared photos of my excess skin, and I probably won't until it's gone. Kind of the Before and After effect. I can't stand it. The gal who was on there, we look exactly alike naked. And when she said, "Sometimes I wonder if it's just better to be fat and filled out rather than be left with this saggy skin..." I felt that a little too much! I almost cried. Honesty came to the forefront and it made me realize that until I get it through my thick skin... (pun intended?) that I will never feel complete. Later during her consultation, the surgeon pulled her excess arm skin to the back, revealing a slender beautifully fit arm. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing at that point. All I could do was reach next to my bed and grab a tissue and wipe away the shame of what I had done to my body. I could see in my imagination the many times I'd done that in front of my mirror when I'm all alone in the room. Wondering what it must be like.. going out in public without worry someone is looking at my saggy arms, or what they must be thinking. I want to feel that general confidence that come with that.

I have always said that yes, I wanted to have my excess skin removed, but not with as much certainty as I was at that moment.

So why am I sharing this here? Why am I not sharing this in the skin removal category? Because, this is something that majority and I mean 90ish percent of us will think about at some point. With WLS comes a lot of fat loss, and with a lot of fat loss comes a lot of extra skin. Of course there will be some lucky people out there without the extra skin, and God Blessed them. But me? No, I have it. I hate it. I want it gone. I also hope that through this channel of communication I can bring others some comfort. That you are not alone, you are not crying alone. You are not wishing and hating your skin alone.

I have gone through more than my share of surgeries since my Lap Band in 2008, so the thought of more surgeries has me turned off. That said, when I see my friends who have had the skin removed... my heart aches for that feeling that I know nothing about. What it must be like to look tight, and finally feel like a normal person (whatever that means!). I want to say however that I wouldn't change a thing about my journey. I am glad that I made the choice to have Weight Loss Surgery. I am glad that I kept fighting when things didn't seem to go my way. I am glad that I stayed positive and kept moving forward when it felt like I wasn't losing. I am glad I stayed strong mentally and kept working toward a new day.

I am mostly thankful to myself that I kept that part of me in the background when I really needed to focus on other health issues I was having. I most likely would have gone crazy otherwise... but I've gotten all of the other health issues resolved. So now, this issue is ready for me to fix.

I am now in that fork in the road of, do I just take one course and keep the skin? Or do I take the other road and help myself achieve what I always imagined in my head I could be?

Thanks to the new TLC show, I have finally made my choice.

Loving myself doesn't have to be accepting myself the way I am. It can also mean loving myself enough to be everything I imagine in my head. There can always be room for improvement.



When I researched plastics I talked to several people to get an idea of how satisfied they were with results. I noticed an interesting trend.... regardless of what i thought of their results, the ones that were the happiest were the ones who basically accepted themselves okay, pre plastics. You know, who wanted it, but weren't all tied up in knots about their imperfect bodies.

I started to think about this obessession... as being a little similar to an eating disorder. What I mean by that is if everytime you look in the mirror, all you see are your flaws, you will likely have that same problem even post plastics with the best surgeon in the universe.

It is my opinion that it is a very healthy excercise for some to search for that self love/self acceptance before trying to use surgery to find it.

I didn't watch the stories you mentioned, but your comments reminded me of my personal research findings.

Ok so I had to watch this after hearing you all. I expected to be touched and emotional. I had my skin removal surgeries 7 months ago.

I wasn't. I am trying to give this woman the benefit of the doubt--she mentioned taking anxiety meds. But oh my! Not letting her husband hug her or touch her (like TOUCH her not even sexually), not talking to people because she thought they wouldn't be her friend bc she's a "freak," being afraid people are staring at her and hiding behind things (saying this while wearing a tank top), being miserable 24/7 because of her looks. I'm sorry. How about your improved health? All the things you can DO now?

Sorry. I understand being dismayed by the skin, but she was truly so focused on her appearance and what OTHERS may have bought about it, that she was missing everything good about her life and being unnecessarily cruel to people close to her.

The other guy, loved him.

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When I researched plastics I talked to several people to get an idea of how satisfied they were with results. I noticed an interesting trend.... regardless of what i thought of their results, the ones that were the happiest were the ones who basically accepted themselves okay, pre plastics. You know, who wanted it, but weren't all tied up in knots about their imperfect bodies.

I started to think about this obessession... as being a little similar to an eating disorder. What I mean by that is if everytime you look in the mirror, all you see are your flaws, you will likely have that same problem even post plastics with the best surgeon in the universe.

It is my opinion that it is a very healthy excercise for some to search for that self love/self acceptance before trying to use surgery to find it.

I didn't watch the stories you mentioned, but your comments reminded me of my personal research findings.

Ok so I had to watch this after hearing you all. I expected to be touched and emotional. I had my skin removal surgeries 7 months ago.

I wasn't. I am trying to give this woman the benefit of the doubt--she mentioned taking anxiety meds. But oh my! Not letting her husband hug her or touch her (like TOUCH her not even sexually), not talking to people because she thought they wouldn't be her friend bc she's a "freak," being afraid people are staring at her and hiding behind things (saying this while wearing a tank top), being miserable 24/7 because of her looks. I'm sorry. How about your improved health? All the things you can DO now?

Sorry. I understand being dismayed by the skin, but she was truly so focused on her appearance and what OTHERS may have bought about it, that she was missing everything good about her life and being unnecessarily cruel to people close to her.

The other guy, loved him.

Yes! This makes total sense to me! I didn't hate my body before plastics. Sure there were issues that annoyed me, but I was pretty darn happy with all I had achieved and all I could do! Plastics was the icing on the cake.

I'm still not perfect. Plastics can't undo everything and do leave some scars, had I wanted perfection I would still be unhappy.

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I didn't hate my body nearly as much as Luana did on that show either. However, I didn't have nearly as much loose skin as her, so it's hard to say how I would have felt in her shoes. I do know that I am SUPER happy with the results of my plastics, though! It has been 4.5 years since I had plastics and I am still incredibly grateful and enjoying the results every single day!

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I didn't hate my body nearly as much as Luana did on that show either. However, I didn't have nearly as much loose skin as her, so it's hard to say how I would have felt in her shoes. I do know that I am SUPER happy with the results of my plastics, though! It has been 4.5 years since I had plastics and I am still incredibly grateful and enjoying the results every single day!

Like I said above, I'm of the mind that part of it may be due to an anxiety disorder on her part (she mentioned taking anxiety meds). But as someone trained in the mental health field, her level of body hatred/anxiety strikes me as dysfunctional--it interferes with her daily life to a very large degree. She kept saying she was a freak, deformed, etc. She really didn't look that bad to me, especially with clothes on! She looked beautiful!

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Hi NewSet, I wouldn't ever want for anyone to feel guilty for wanting more. And just like you explained it, it goes much deeper than just vanity. Fitting clothes, working out in comfort, no itchy skin to tend to... etc. Don't feel bad for wanting to be free from your excess skin, because after awhile I became to realize it's shedding that old self away - literally.

"Loving myself doesn't have to be accepting myself the way I am. It can also mean loving myself enough to be everything I imagine in my head."

@@LilMissDiva Irene,

Thank you for this post. This statement, that I quoted above, just resonates with me in such a powerful way. I had plastics done. A part of me--or maybe some of the social stigmatisms that are ingrained in my brain--feels partially guilty. I sort of feel like my vanity drove me to spend that money on myself, versus using it towards our home or kids, or any other area of our lives. But that part, when you said that "loving" ourselves...honoring our self worth...includes doing everything we can to become what we "imagine" ourselves to be...it hit the nail on the head. I worked VERY hard--from changing our eating life style at home, making our family an active family, to my extremely hard work in the gym--to become the person that I imagined. However, I fell short. Despite my 5' 6" frame and being a size 4/6 with barely any belly fat, my stomach still flapped when I ran and jumped. And no matter how many push-ups or how much weight I put on that bench press, my breast still looked like large & flappy dried prunes. And not matter how many lunges, squats, box jumps or leg presses I did, my upper thighs remained a jiggling mess. I wanted my hard work to reflect on my body. And it did. With my clothes on. With a pair of spanks on.

Thank you. I feel validated in my decision. Any whispers of regret or guilt have just floated away.

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I didn't want to admit that either - the procrastinator part. Haha I totally get that! :lol: :D :lol: I will follow you! You give me hope.

I waited 10-years to have my plastic surgery. I had all kinds of excuses, and I have learned that I am one of the greatest procrastinators in the world (I waited years on my bariatric surgery, too)!

The plastic surgery was life changing for me. I will quote another patient who said, "Bariatric surgery saved my life. Plastic surgery saved my soul." Yes. That is how I feel, exactly.

Understand that my body contouring plastic surgery was not a walk in the park. I went through some egregious situations and more than two years out I am still contending with complications. And of course, I now have scars in place of the skin. My facial plastic surgery was a cake walk by comparison.

Despite all that, I am glad that I did this. The plastic surgery was the completion of my weight loss surgery.

If anyone is interested, I have begun to document my journey:

Body contouring plastic surgery

Facial plastic surgery

Good luck to all of you on your journeys!!!

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I didn't write this article to create a forum for belittling or judging the lovely lady on the show. Thank you for your input.

However, I wrote it because there are many people out there who feel judged and often times keep the plastic surgery journey to themselves. Many choose to keep how they feel about their excess skin hidden because others out there who view their feelings negatively. I caution to plant labels on someone due to any factors in their medical history, including anxiety.

Irene

I didn't hate my body nearly as much as Luana did on that show either. However, I didn't have nearly as much loose skin as her, so it's hard to say how I would have felt in her shoes. I do know that I am SUPER happy with the results of my plastics, though! It has been 4.5 years since I had plastics and I am still incredibly grateful and enjoying the results every single day!


Like I said above, I'm of the mind that part of it may be due to an anxiety disorder on her part (she mentioned taking anxiety meds). But as someone trained in the mental health field, her level of body hatred/anxiety strikes me as dysfunctional--it interferes with her daily life to a very large degree. She kept saying she was a freak, deformed, etc. She really didn't look that bad to me, especially with clothes on! She looked beautiful!

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I didn't write this article to create a forum for belittling or judging the lovely lady on the show. Thank you for your input.

However, I wrote it because there are many people out there who feel judged and often times keep the plastic surgery journey to themselves. Many choose to keep how they feel about their excess skin hidden because others out there who view their feelings negatively. I caution to plant labels on someone due to any factors in their medical history, including anxiety.

Irene

I didn't hate my body nearly as much as Luana did on that show either. However, I didn't have nearly as much loose skin as her, so it's hard to say how I would have felt in her shoes. I do know that I am SUPER happy with the results of my plastics, though! It has been 4.5 years since I had plastics and I am still incredibly grateful and enjoying the results every single day!

Like I said above, I'm of the mind that part of it may be due to an anxiety disorder on her part (she mentioned taking anxiety meds). But as someone trained in the mental health field, her level of body hatred/anxiety strikes me as dysfunctional--it interferes with her daily life to a very large degree. She kept saying she was a freak, deformed, etc. She really didn't look that bad to me, especially with clothes on! She looked beautiful!

I don't mean to belittle, judge or label (I think I was very careful not to label actually).

I was really trying to give her the benefit of the doubt in saying her level of distress about her body might be related to her anxiety.

I could have said she came across as whiny, shallow, self-obsessed and mean to her loved ones because that was my initial reaction ????. I was very careful NOT to say that. And perhaps those judgmental, labeling, belittling thoughts say more about ME than they do about HER, which is usually the case.

Why did I feel the need to weigh in at all? I guess I come from the place the person above whose husband was concerned someone might not lose weight after watching this woman.

I wanted to point out how her perception of herself as a "freak" and disgusting is SO FAR from reality. She is beautiful by almost any standards! And has accomplished so much and is a whole new person who can do so much and will live so much longer! She has a husband who loves and supports her and a step daughter who appears to do the same. I wish she could see it that way!

I wish anyone in her position could see it that way!

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And I understand that's not why you started this discussion, but the beauty and pain of the Internet is we all get to weigh in and sometimes discussions go unexpected ways. I think it's all valuable as long as we aren't flaming each other.

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I just caught the Skin Tight episode. I have to say, it actually made me feel better about my excess skin, which has been bothering me a lot. Comparatively, I have a minimal amount of loose skin--which I knew in my rational brain, but it seems a lot worse when it's just me staring at my bare stomach alone. But I completely relate to not wanting to be touched where there is loose skin and making intimacy difficult. I was so insecure of my body before I lost the weight, and it was a huge disappointment to feel just as disgusted with how my unclothed body looks now as I did before.

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@@My Bariatric Life may I ask what ongoing complications you are dealing with?

I am 2 years post plastics and doing great, but I had some sort of injury to my right breast, resulting in a seroma that would not go away, resulting in removing the implant, resulting in me needing a replacement. My implants are small, but they give that youthful upper fullness that I have none of without. Anyway, it is not a big deal but I had no idea that implant revisions are so common (for one reason or another). Anybody on the fence about it should be aware that something like 20% of implants are revised in the first few years post op. sometimes it is because the patient wants to "go bigger" but sometimes it is mysterious stuff like my story.... As far as my arm lift, lower body lift - no issues, it is behind me and i don't expect any ongoing problems. My scars don't bother me either.

I had a complication with my brachioplasty, a contracted scar that resulted in a range of motion issue, pain, and the incision opened and resulted in an ugly scar. To treat the contracted scar, I had to have a z-plasty done, then lots of PT and OT, as well as treatments by a chiropractor to address the pain and range of motion. It finally was resolved but I was left without full range of motion, permanently. Now the same range of motion and pain has manifested in my other arm/shoulder,. The orthopedists and physical therapist and massage therapist all said it was from the contracted scar in the other arm. The physical therapist said it is like pulling a blanket on the bed, you scrunch up a section in your hand but it pulls everything else. So I am back at the beginning, except a different arm. It is very painful. I am more than two-years out from plastic surgery. As far as the ugly scar, I did not have it addressed.

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I watched the show as well and it made me very sad and fearful. I'm only 4 months out from my gastric bypass surgery and am down 55 lbs. Need to lose about 40 lbs more but I'm afraid of what I will look like. I would be happy if I could just be a healthy size 12-14 and never got to "goal weight" and have my skin still look relatively normal.

I'm 57 so there's not a lot of elasticity left in my skin. I don't want nor likely can afford this skin removal process. It seems to be a very painful process, there's high risk involved, and you are left with hideous scars. Now my concern is that I won't stop losing when I want to and will get thinner than I would like. I DON'T want to look like my skin has melted or go through this procedure. Is there a way to stop losing weight when you are happy where you are?

This is exactly how I felt too. I've lost 60 lbs and am pretty happy. Would like to lose 40 more but thought maybe 20 would be better and help keep me from having super saggy skin.

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i think this may be tougher on women because of societies views on beauty etc. As a man who has reached goal, and i have a LOT of excess skin, in my belly and , well ill say it, my pubic area. But i honestly cannot fathom how i would ever be able to have plastics. just not financially viable, Mexico or not. I have an active capter 13 bankruptcy so now way to get a loan or finance it, id literally need to change my entire life again, to save up for the two years left on my bankruptcy to get plastics, it sucks, but as my wife says, " i like having you alive and well with loose skin, than fat and dead or in pain all the time.

SO ill take it. ive never been a beach person and i can deal with it. The man boob thing is a lot better now, but weirder as i have fried eggs instead of a solid c cup. I actually contacted several tv shows to see if they wanted to sponsor my surgery in exchange for video rights and story rights lol. no one took me up on that.

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@@jess9395 I'm not sure if you watched the entire show but she stated she was very happy at the end.

I watched. She was happy while losing too. I hope it lasts for her this time!

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