Excess Skin: And the Emotional, Thick Skinned Woman
Be honest: How does your extra skin make you feel?
I was watching the new show "Skin Tight" on TLC with the young lady who's name is Lauana, mentioning her excess skin and how it REALLY made her feel. I personally have always had the knack of pushing my feelings aside and just being happy with 'Good Enough'... but then she spoke.
I have always wanted to eventually get my skin removed, someday. I've been at or near goal for about 4 years now, or something like that. I've never really counted. But I also never acknowledged the fact that I may be more fit, healthier, smaller.. whatever, but I am not a finished product. I still have one more step to go and with watching that Television program I was slapped in the face with it. I need to have my excess skin removed.
To this day I've never ever shared photos of my excess skin, and I probably won't until it's gone. Kind of the Before and After effect. I can't stand it. The gal who was on there, we look exactly alike naked. And when she said, "Sometimes I wonder if it's just better to be fat and filled out rather than be left with this saggy skin..." I felt that a little too much! I almost cried. Honesty came to the forefront and it made me realize that until I get it through my thick skin... (pun intended?) that I will never feel complete. Later during her consultation, the surgeon pulled her excess arm skin to the back, revealing a slender beautifully fit arm. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing at that point. All I could do was reach next to my bed and grab a tissue and wipe away the shame of what I had done to my body. I could see in my imagination the many times I'd done that in front of my mirror when I'm all alone in the room. Wondering what it must be like.. going out in public without worry someone is looking at my saggy arms, or what they must be thinking. I want to feel that general confidence that come with that.
I have always said that yes, I wanted to have my excess skin removed, but not with as much certainty as I was at that moment.
So why am I sharing this here? Why am I not sharing this in the skin removal category? Because, this is something that majority and I mean 90ish percent of us will think about at some point. With WLS comes a lot of fat loss, and with a lot of fat loss comes a lot of extra skin. Of course there will be some lucky people out there without the extra skin, and God Blessed them. But me? No, I have it. I hate it. I want it gone. I also hope that through this channel of communication I can bring others some comfort. That you are not alone, you are not crying alone. You are not wishing and hating your skin alone.
I have gone through more than my share of surgeries since my Lap Band in 2008, so the thought of more surgeries has me turned off. That said, when I see my friends who have had the skin removed... my heart aches for that feeling that I know nothing about. What it must be like to look tight, and finally feel like a normal person (whatever that means!). I want to say however that I wouldn't change a thing about my journey. I am glad that I made the choice to have Weight Loss Surgery. I am glad that I kept fighting when things didn't seem to go my way. I am glad that I stayed positive and kept moving forward when it felt like I wasn't losing. I am glad I stayed strong mentally and kept working toward a new day.
I am mostly thankful to myself that I kept that part of me in the background when I really needed to focus on other health issues I was having. I most likely would have gone crazy otherwise... but I've gotten all of the other health issues resolved. So now, this issue is ready for me to fix.
I am now in that fork in the road of, do I just take one course and keep the skin? Or do I take the other road and help myself achieve what I always imagined in my head I could be?
Thanks to the new TLC show, I have finally made my choice.
Loving myself doesn't have to be accepting myself the way I am. It can also mean loving myself enough to be everything I imagine in my head. There can always be room for improvement.
Irene "LilMissDiva" Avila
Bariatric Pal Member since 2007. Bariatric Pal Super Host and Magazine Contributor.
Sharing a personal view of Weight Loss Surgery.
I too watched that episode of "Skin Tight" and cried right along with her, but for a different reason. I know the joy of a post-skin removal body and it is WONDERFUL! I knew how she felt about herself with all the extra skin and I knew how awesome she felt once it was gone, because I've been on both ends of that journey as well. That moment when the surgeon lifted her arm skin out of the way, revealing her shapely arm and she saw what she might look like post-op got me crying too!
One thing my husband pointed out after that show has me a little worried though. He said he was afraid that people might see that show and decide they are better off not losing weight in the first place so they don't have to deal with the excess skin. I immediately said "excess skin won't kill you, but an extra hundred pounds will!" I worry that he is right, though. Some people really find vanity to be a major motivator for weight loss and if they see that show and realize that losing weight alone won't be enough to get them looking fantastic, they may lose their motivation to lose weight in the first place.
I watched the show as well and it made me very sad and fearful. I'm only 4 months out from my gastric bypass surgery and am down 55 lbs. Need to lose about 40 lbs more but I'm afraid of what I will look like. I would be happy if I could just be a healthy size 12-14 and never got to "goal weight" and have my skin still look relatively normal.
I'm 57 so there's not a lot of elasticity left in my skin. I don't want nor likely can afford this skin removal process. It seems to be a very painful process, there's high risk involved, and you are left with hideous scars. Now my concern is that I won't stop losing when I want to and will get thinner than I would like. I DON'T want to look like my skin has melted or go through this procedure. Is there a way to stop losing weight when you are happy where you are?
I watched the show too. At first I thought she was being overly sensitive about it all but then it showed how happy she was after her procedure. I was just sleeved on Dec. 30, so am almost 2 weeks post op. I've noticed I've been depressed and moody, and after watching that show wondered if I'd made the right decision... Am kinda scared about all the excess skin that will be left over. They say if you work out as you're losing that your skin won't be as saggy. The guy on that show lost all of his weight just by working out and he had huge amounts of sagging skin... :/
I watched the show too. At first I thought she was being overly sensitive about it all but then it showed how happy she was after her procedure. I was just sleeved on Dec. 30, so am almost 2 weeks post op. I've noticed I've been depressed and moody, and after watching that show wondered if I'd made the right decision... Am kinda scared about all the excess skin that will be left over. They say if you work out as you're losing that your skin won't be as saggy. The guy on that show lost all of his weight just by working out and he had huge amounts of sagging skin... :/
There are so many factors that feed into whether you will have loose skin and how much. Age, genetics, ethnicity, rate of loss.... There are a few things you can do that *might* help *some*, but there are no guarantees. Make sure you drink all your Water, moisturize daily, make sure you take your Vitamins (C & E especially), and do some toning/strength training. All of those things can potentially help, but the truth is, if you lose 100 pounds or more in a year or less, you are going to have excess skin. There is no way around it. But remember, excess skin won't kill you, excess weight literally will.
Losing weight and getting healthy and fit is always the right choice. It's just not always the finish line for some of us. But being able to live is far better than sitting on the sidelines. It's also nice to not worry if you will live to see your children grow up, or something that has meaning to you.
I'll be honest, I skimmed your post because near the middle my eyes started getting teary and I am currently wearing a ton of non-waterproof makeup. I wasn't bothered by my excess skin the first few times I lost a lot of weight, probably because my entire life I have been fat or saggy, however after having lost with the sleeve I decided I wanted to get my boobs done. This was almost entirely because I hated that I couldn't wear cute tops because I needed major support bras to not look like I was super saggy. That same week I started checking out abdominoplasty pictures and I'll be honest even then I had no idea that I could ever have a flat stomach. Ever since I was a kid, even when I was thin I always had a little pooch of skin/fat so I generally didn't wear tight clothing or if I did it was with Spanx. Well, a year later and 3 surgeries with everything from the boobs and stomach, to thighs, arms and posterior body lift, and I look like a different person. I had no idea how different I would look and feel. Sure, I am still a little ashamed of my arm scars, although they are quickly fading and very hard to see, but the rest can only be seen when I'm not wearing clothing so I mostly ignore them.
Having my plastics procedures did unspeakable things for my confidence that just losing weight never could have. I am so grateful that I was able to have the work done and while most of my friends find me to be fabulously full of myself because I just had to go spend a small luxury car on being a "plastic Barbie", thanks to my surgeon I never look in the mirror any more and feel disgust. I had no idea how much the extra skin made me dislike myself until I finally saw what it was like gone. I may not love my face all the time, my hair might still be thin (damn sleeve) and I have plenty of other flaws, but my figure, because of my surgeon is something that for the first time in my life that makes me feel almost hot sometimes. I feel like a finished product, instead of like a deflated fat girl.
Amazing article and very timely for me. Although I'm much earlier post op than you (17 months), I'm at goal and now contemplating a Tummy Tuck with panni surgery at my 2 year surgiversary in about 7 months. I've been going back and forth about it. I think this decision is harder than actually deciding to have WLS! I will just weigh my options and then ultimately decide when the time comes. If I don't do it before 50 ( in a year and a half), I probably won't do it at all 
I watched the show as well and it made me very sad and fearful. I'm only 4 months out from my gastric bypass surgery and am down 55 lbs. Need to lose about 40 lbs more but I'm afraid of what I will look like. I would be happy if I could just be a healthy size 12-14 and never got to "goal weight" and have my skin still look relatively normal.
I'm 57 so there's not a lot of elasticity left in my skin. I don't want nor likely can afford this skin removal process. It seems to be a very painful process, there's high risk involved, and you are left with hideous scars. Now my concern is that I won't stop losing when I want to and will get thinner than I would like. I DON'T want to look like my skin has melted or go through this procedure. Is there a way to stop losing weight when you are happy where you are?
This is exactly why I didn't do some kind of weight loss surgery 5 years ago because I felt like I would rather look like a younger fat gal than a thin wrinkle. I had 2 of my doctors ask if I had considered it and I always said no. Then one day it suddenly hit me that my health was making me a burden on my husband and I felt like such a stone around his neck. He never made me feel that way it just hit me one day that I might have to ask him to wash my keester! Now I am 62 and I called him and asked him what he would think of me having the surgery. He said if that's what I wanted to go ahead but it was my call and that he loved me either way. I asked what he was going to think when I looked like an ugly Sherpai dog and he said it was not a problem for him no matter what. I called and started this ball rolling. I finally decided that aching feet, knees and joints were worse than wrinkles. I know that I am not going to like the wrinkles but unless I can talk insurance in to paying for surgery I will probably have to learn to love them. I will also find it hard to spend big dollars fixing something I can live with when I am 65 or over. Sometimes I am to practical 
However, I have been known to change my mind, so if my butt keeps catching up with me and knocking me down, I may reconsider.
I really appreciate this post. I'm preop, but have several friends who are postop. One of them had a Tummy Tuck late last year after losing 150 lbs with her sleeve. She was SO unhappy with the extra skin around her abdomen. I rather expect that when the time comes I'll have something done - I've wanted a boob reduction/lift anyhow. I love the comment of wanting not to look like a deflated fat girl.
I think there is something about taking the leap to get plastics done that can be the final acceptance that the "fat life" is over, and that the "thin and fit life" is a permanent change. And permanent change is what we all want when we start this journey, isn't it?
I'm dreading plastics. The sleeve surgery was a breeze but it's plastics that will be the real major surgery.
My excess skin is just now starting to show on my belly. It's gross. My thighs are getting floppy as well. My butt is gross. My back and arms are good though, which I guess is a plus.
I'm just really paranoid that I'll come out looking like Frankenstein's monster with all the scars. It would suck if even after surgery I still was not able to take my shirt off to go swimming or do normal guy stuff.
There are so many misconceptions about all of this. First, most of us do not have "hideous scars" - people don't even notice mine unless I point them out. They are more noticable at first, but within 6 months they were quite faded and now at 2 years - a non issue. My very worst scar is the very back of my lower body lift. The front of it (tummy tuck part) you can't even see - my stretch marks from obesity and pregnancy are more noticable! I go sleeveless all the time and I think I have only had ONCE somebody notice them. I am dating now, so i use the sleeveless shirts as a way to intro the topic - and 100% of the time it has been a non issue with men I have dated - and I always have to tell them, they don't notice even though i am waving those arms in front of their faces (well, I am exagerating, but just saying i am not in hiding)
Pain is quite variable, I don't understand why some people report alot of pain, but I had little pain. i have heard this from others too.
What I had was exhaustion and general boredom and discontent from being a weakling that had to rest alot for like SIX WEEKS! For an active person like me, that was torture. My pain was very well managed my first 3 days in the clinic and then after that, I really didn't have pain (drain removal hurt, but that is over very fast).
I don't know why people say that exercising eliminates excess skin. I was fit fit fit as I exercised alot that while losing weight and moving into maintenance and I still had excess skin. Actually, considering I lost more than half my body weight, my excess skin wasn't too bad! Exercise is awesome for so many reasons, but it doesnt shrink or remove skin.
I would say that it was the last 30-40 lost when the skin became more noticable, so if you stay a little fluffier you may not be as bothered by it.
However, plastics are expensive. I don't know that they are THAT risky, but any surgery is a risk so maybe isn't worth it. And like i said, recovery is no picnic - disrupts your life, take time off from work, no heavy housework etc for many weeks! It isn't for everyone, and I was one of those that said /i would never do it but am SO GLAD I DID!
And as Jamie said, you don't die of loose skin, but morbid obesity can not only shorten your life, but it can cause disability.
I watched the show and as much as you knew you wanted plastics, I knew without a doubt that I did not want plastics...at least not yet. Oh yes...I'd like a flat belly and arms and legs that are not looking like a Sharpei dog. But I'm not feeling what you others feel. I don't hate my body like the woman on the show did...I don't feel bad that I can't wear sleeveless tops or shorts. I just figure I'd wear what works for my body same as I do in terms of shape and style of the clothing I buy.
Very glad for those who have had or know they want plastics. If I change my mind...I'll provide before and after pics...LOL.
I probably shouldn't post on this thread, because I haven't seen the TV show.
But I gotta say ... I love the way I look post-op at 137 pounds (5'5" tall) and 70 years old without any plastic surgery.
Yes, I have crepe-y thighs. And my boobs are halfway between where they used to be and my waist, and my arms aren't made for primetime sleeveless dresses.
But I look SO MUCH BETTER than I used to look when I was a big fat mess. I look really, really cute in clothes. And my hubby adores me at any size / shape.
I'm just so happy I have a hard time being unhappy about some extra skin.
(Not saying everybody isn't entitled to feel how they feel. Just wanted to express my own feelings on this subject.)
I'm down a 100# with 60 to go to my personal goal. I have loose skin in the typical places. For where I am thus far, I'm ok with how it looks. I don't wear Spanx cause I hate them, and really don't think things are so bad that I need them. Considering, asides from the fact I can't afford it anyway, I have no intentions for skin surgery. 1) I'm not willing to put my family through the risk and potential complications... Rny was enough. 2) my scars always keloid, no way could I live with that's much scarring/keloid.
I saw the skin tight episode and was really disturbed by how unhappy she was. It seemed abnormal to me. And even afterward, she didn't seem to be that happy, she came across to me as a person with no joy.
I do love to see the before/after of those who do have the surgery, but I'll have to just live though those people!
CowgirlJane 14,259
Posted
Excess skin made me feel like I wasn't completely "there". I looked pretty dang good in Spanx, but when I didn't have supportive garments, i had a bit of the melted snowman look...
I never thought I looked better fat - not at all. Trim, with excess skin was WAY better than obesity.
There were those, including my lover, who tried to talk me out of plastics but I persevered. I likened it to getting rid of the ole 3X sweat pants, just didn't serve me well anymore. Having plastics was tranforming - not just in looks, but confidence and feeling "normal".
It is a big deal too, not to be taken lightly, but I am so glad I did it!
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