This Journey Never Ends
What happened is that, as an acquaintance once said, I’ve lost an entire person. And what also happened is that I’ve gained an entire person. One who likes to dress in nice clothes that show off her nice parts. One who longer wishes she were invisible, is willing to chat with complete strangers, and can drive past McDonald’s and not feel French fries pulling her into the drive-through line.
And this is a person who’s willing to try new things, even as my hair grows silver and my mind and body grow slower and my energy diminishes…but so far, it hasn’t diminished to my pre-op activity level: sitting for hour after hour in a big, soft armchair with a mystery novel and 2 small dogs on her lap and a bag of potato chips within easy reach. Please God, don’t ever let me return to that!
But it’s not God’s job to prevent that. It’s my job. Forever and ever, amen. Because this journey never ends. And that’s OK. Because the day I take this weight loss and my new, energized, interesting life for granted is the day my Bandwagon veers off the road and into a deep, deep ditch. I’m determined to stay on the WLS path. I marvel almost every day not just at my size 4 wardrobe but at my mostly wonderful quality of life.
So please don’t be discouraged if, despite WLS, you find yourself plodding down the road hand in hand with your old food devils or trapped on a weight loss plateau. Sometimes we need to revisit old places, if only to help us remember how far we’ve come and motivate us to climb the next hill.
Kathleen,
When someone says that weight loss surgery is "taking the easy way out," I have to shake my head. They have no idea what it's like to walk this path.
In a sense, losing weight after WLS is indeed easier, and more successful,l for me. That's one of the reasons I had surgery in the first place!
I have a morbidly obese acquaintance who tells me that although she's glad WLS has been successful for me, she could never do it, because she feels like she ought to be able to lose the weight on her own. So on top of being miserable because of all the ways obesity compromises her health and wellbeing, she's also miserable because she feels like a failure.
Jean
Thank you.
I feel the tug of temptation but now that is what it is--a tug not a pull of a chain hooked to a semi-truck rig.
It takes effort to keep doing the things I need to do but I can never go back.
It takes effort to go to the gym when my mind is screaming "Take the day off!"
To anyone that thinks the surgery makes it easy--they are so incredibly mistaken.
Blessings,
Kathleen
Oh my gosh @Jean McMillan You said it all so well! I feel much the same way at one year out, and hope I'll be right where you are when I'm 8 years out! I can't count the number of things I now enjoy doing, and reminding myself are new gifts I've given myself in doing this. Congratulations, and thanks for such a heartening message!
Kate
The French fries were my Crack ! I had to have them everyday, now I don't even want, one! Yes your right, This journey never ends!
I have a morbidly obese acquaintance who tells me that although she's glad WLS has been successful for me, she could never do it, because she feels like she ought to be able to lose the weight on her own. So on top of being miserable because of all the ways obesity compromises her health and wellbeing, she's also miserable because she feels like a failure.
Good grief!
She's staring at freedom from inside the prison cell without a door that she built for herself.
How fascinating. And how horrible.
Our values should serve our goals, not thwart them. When they don't serve our goals, we should seriously re-evaluate our values.
Jean,
Thanks for yet another bit of your wisdom. Yes, weight loss surgery helped me lose almost a whole person, both in weight and in personality, as in eating too much and sitting on the couch instead of being active and really living. And you are right that “person” is not necessarily entirely lost all the time. Now, well over 10 years post-op, the healthy behaviors are pretty much habitual, but the old devils are still calling. Sometimes they call louder than other times. Hearing them, and occasionally giving in to them, reminds me where I came from and why I don’t want to go back.
Katcloudshepherd 630
Posted
Thank you.
I feel the tug of temptation but now that is what it is--a tug not a pull of a chain hooked to a semi-truck rig.
It takes effort to keep doing the things I need to do but I can never go back.
It takes effort to go to the gym when my mind is screaming "Take the day off!"
To anyone that thinks the surgery makes it easy--they are so incredibly mistaken.
Blessings,
Kathleen
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