What Every Weight Loss Surgery Candidate Should Know

I got to give it up to my surgery team. Their goal is that a patient is never surprised by anything. I was required to go through an 8 week skills class prior to surgery. It was 2 hours per week and the psychiatrist covered things like emotional eating and the dietitian covered the long term eating program. The Director went over exercise.

I am only a month out from surgery so I may still be surprised by something down the road but so far it's what I expected. They also have an advanced skills class for post op people that continues the education and I've been attending. I figure I may as well take all the help they are willing to give.

@@MisforMimi Very well stated. I wonder, too, if it isn't the newest thing for me as well. I wonder if I might be kidding myself that this really isn't about the food. The other place in my brain says, this will be the tool to make the changes lifelong and that is really what I am looking for. Obviously, I am conflicted as I realize this is serious surgery and is not to be taken lightly. I do feel that this past year has been plenty of time to contemplate and prepare. I have no idea if I will be one of those who has issues, but a good part of me says that if I follow the instructions for the diet, I won't. So I still don't have a surgery date although I have been told it will be January. Kind of significant in that new year, new start, I guess!

@@*Lexie*

That sounds like some awesome investment in patients' success. Never heard of that level of preparation.

I was was extremely prepared by my nutritionist. It took me 6 months to finish getting my financing together for the surgery. At first it was upsetting a little to have to wait so long. It ended up being a blessing in disguise!!! During those 6 months, my nutrtionist brought me in monthly, and made sure I was preparing myself mentally. She let me know it is not an easy fix. Every day will still have struggles between healthy lifestyle decisions or rather to fall back into old patterns. It was those 6 months that she was more like a psychologist.I firmly believe my mental changes prior to the surgery is what is making me a success. I strongly advise going to somewhere who specializes in these procedures rather than some doctor who just throws you into it. I believe it is the best tool I've ever had! ALONG with the mental preparation & encouragement. Your article was insightful since I always choose to try to keep things on a positive note. Next time I will think more about both sides of the coin.

@@lexie, that sounds like an awesome preparation and bariatric surgery support program. Congrats to your surgeon and his entire team.

I'm really gratified to hear how some of you were given great information and preparation prior to surgery.

I am pre-surgery, but had a weight loss procedure way back in 1989. There are much better nutritional products and nutrition information available now. I had very little followup back then. My surgeon has good information, and they do much more to prepare patients now. I was not prepared for the incredibly strong desire to chew food when I was on the liquid diet. We didn't have the internet to share healthy eating ideas, recipes, and new products. We were just told to add Protein to soft foods, such as non fat powdered milk in 1989. Now I am trying out different products prior to surgery. I know my taste might change after surgery. Even though I had experienced the body dysmorphia during previous weight loss attempts, I am still nervous about that. I am so blessed that my insurance covers intensive behavioral therapy for obesity, so I am trying to find a therapist in my area. Back in 1989, the local support group was disbanded before I had the surgery because the lady leading the group was tired of it turning into a "b$%#hing and moaning" session about divorces and other life problems. Hmmm. Looking back, I understand that marriages and other relationships suffer when one party has a huge weight loss. It really upsets the status quo! Today, I know that my problems won't all be solved by weight loss, but I WILL be healthier. I know that I will be able to move around easier, put less stress on my overwhelmed joints, not break into embarrassing, red faced, hot sweats when everyone else in the room is cool. I appreciate the people who are realistic and willing to share the good, the bad, and the ugly of the WLS process.

Well, I am lucky that my bariatric team educated me very well. I also read the boards. Well and I was a band revision, so not my first rodeo as the saying goes. I was quite well educated and realistic by the time I was sleeved.

My"surprises" - I never dreamed I would turn out looking so good..I was truly transformed which never happened with the band. Also, I didn't struggle as much with the emotional issues around restricted eating during weight loss phase...however..the emotional adjustment post goal has been epic. I was warned but did not really understand how fundamentally my life would shift...many dimensions to this topic. Shifts needed to successfully maintain, getting used to people noticing me, finding my sense of style, figuring out how I fit in socially etc etc. Anyway I am nearly 3 years post op been at goal for awhile and feel I am finally on solid ground again.

My bariatric team was pretty informative, but honestly I did a lot of research on my own. I read the good, the bad and the ugly. I thought I knew it all. As for the actual surgery, post op diet / lifestyle , and general surgery related things I was informed. Where I have struggled has been mentally and emotionally. I was more addicted to food than I realized. I sailed through my one and only psych evaluation, but I think I could have use some counseling. I did not realize how emotional this would be for me. My weight loss has been slower than many you read about. I am a year out and still have 75 lbs to lose. ( 101lbs gone) I struggle all the time with what I put in my mouth. I have lost much of my early excitement. While I am happy as can be about losing over 100 lbs, I still focus on the 75lbs I need to lose. My life is no easier than it was before the surgery. Yes, my physical being is better. I can do so much more than I ever could at 316lbs. But I still have the exact same issues I had before. I work a sometimes stressful job, money is always tight, I am raising a six year old by myself. And my social life is no better now than it was before. I always blamed my lack of companionship ( ie: having a man) on being fat. Now I realize it is much more than that. Yes, I get more attention. But I don't get asked out anymore now than I did before. ( I don't think I am a big social pariah, I have many male and female friends. For some reason I just don't seem to attract romantic intentions.) I do know I look better than I did. I absolutely know I feel better. But I never imagined how hard emotionally the journey would be at times. I always blamed my fat for being unhappy, but once the fat is gone and I am still unhappy....now what?

Well said!!

I was on the boards for over a year pre-op, and inhaled all kinds of stories. I was (I believe) adequately prepared for how the VSG would be a tool, would offer a brief time (1 year) to build new skills, deal with surprising upsets about not being able to soothe myself with food. I also realized I needed to be in therapy, during my journey -- I call it my Year of Losing Weight, my Year of Maintaining my Weight, and Boring Real Life. That's my therapy commitment -- three years.

I'm old enough to know that life isn't an endless honeymoon. Boredom, habits and real life end all honeymoons. And then the marriage begins.

So I was well prepared.

I do see those who are starstruck and want to wake up 365 days later and find themselves Cinderella at the Ball being chased around the floor by The Prince. I see some who are, frankly, not smart enough to appreciate what they're doing to themselves and what it will mean. I seem some who thought they were ready, but find it so much harder to adapt than they'd dreamed. Some of those adapt. Some of them don't. I see some who can't be compliant because they're too food-addicted or simply unable to follow directions or those who can't let anyone be the boss of them or those who think they're too special to do it the boring way everyone else does.

I see the perfection puppies, the alcoholics, the ones whose lives are a train wreck with no space in it for self-protection, the wounded adult children, the smart ones who can fix everything but their weight. I see those with bad surgeons and inattentive care. I see those with no support at home or outright antagonism and hate disguised as nagging. People who are desperate enough to have weight loss surgery are not all in mental spaces or physical spaces that are safe enough for them to undergo WLS and its aftermath.

Of course, I see people who do well. A lot of them are older. They know it won't be perfect, but they're patient. They have seen tough times, and they aren't shocked by some tough things about WLS. They're a bit long-suffering and don't b***h about every new food that doesn't thrill their palate. They can tolerate temporary discomfort to get to the easier times two months out. In a word, they're just compliant -- or as compliant as they can be. They don't beat themselves up when they're not perfect and they are resilient enough to get back on the path without being a drama llama about it.

They don't start threads with titles like: "Oy vey ist mir!" or "Will I ever be happy again?" or "Please tell me this won't last forever." They already know they'll be happy again, that this won't last forever, and that ein bischen vey doesn't require a clickbait thread title.

This is a very good post, but i want to make a small counter argument to one set of points...

I was somewhat of an emotional wreck preop, I was very worried about failing again, I felt like death warmed over (physically and emotionally)... I went through some wild emotional rides over the last few years... and yet I somehow managed to perservere and am maintaining a 160# + loss so far. I have become something closer to the real me...

I think for me the message is that even if you are a perfection puppy, a wounded adult, someone whose life is a mess, who lacks support at home - you can still be successful.

I think the key is being open to change, learn from mistakes (and successes!) being resilent, taking personal responsbility, and realizing that you are fighting for your very life.... this is important. This is critical... treat it as though your very future depends on this!

I also sort of had themes by year. My Sleeve was Dec 2011. It was a miserable year for me as i was very conflicted about the decision to revise from a failed band to a sleeve.

2012 was the year of focusing on weight loss - that meant limited going out, staying very very very focused on my goal. I hit my initial goal in Feb 2013. 2012 theme was "determination"

2013 was a little bit of a "crazy" year. I started facing some emotional issues, I had plastic surgery which was quite a lot to deal with, I made huge changes in my life (outside of weight loss). I had a 5# regain and then in the process of losing that, and getting even under goal - I learned new things too. I did not intentionally chose "crazy" as my theme..haha.. but in hindsight it kinda was...

2014 - my theme has been "stabilize" - not just weight, but other aspects of life. No more big changes, have fun, enjoy life, get at peace with myself. It has worked well - when i look back at my headspace compared to 1-2 years ago...wow, what a difference.

2015 - I haven't figured out my theme yet, but i expect it will be along the lines that "the world is my oyster" and really exploring exciting opportunities for the future... we shall see

I was on the boards for over a year pre-op, and inhaled all kinds of stories. I was (I believe) adequately prepared for how the VSG would be a tool, would offer a brief time (1 year) to build new skills, deal with surprising upsets about not being able to soothe myself with food. I also realized I needed to be in therapy, during my journey -- I call it my Year of Losing Weight, my Year of Maintaining my Weight, and Boring Real Life. That's my therapy commitment -- three years.

I'm old enough to know that life isn't an endless honeymoon. Boredom, habits and real life end all honeymoons. And then the marriage begins.

So I was well prepared.

I do see those who are starstruck and want to wake up 365 days later and find themselves Cinderella at the Ball being chased around the floor by The Prince. I see some who are, frankly, not smart enough to appreciate what they're doing to themselves and what it will mean. I seem some who thought they were ready, but find it so much harder to adapt than they'd dreamed. Some of those adapt. Some of them don't. I see some who can't be compliant because they're too food-addicted or simply unable to follow directions or those who can't let anyone be the boss of them or those who think they're too special to do it the boring way everyone else does.

I see the perfection puppies, the alcoholics, the ones whose lives are a train wreck with no space in it for self-protection, the wounded adult children, the smart ones who can fix everything but their weight. I see those with bad surgeons and inattentive care. I see those with no support at home or outright antagonism and hate disguised as nagging. People who are desperate enough to have weight loss surgery are not all in mental spaces or physical spaces that are safe enough for them to undergo WLS and its aftermath.

Of course, I see people who do well. A lot of them are older. They know it won't be perfect, but they're patient. They have seen tough times, and they aren't shocked by some tough things about WLS. They're a bit long-suffering and don't b***h about every new food that doesn't thrill their palate. They can tolerate temporary discomfort to get to the easier times two months out. In a word, they're just compliant -- or as compliant as they can be. They don't beat themselves up when they're not perfect and they are resilient enough to get back on the path without being a drama llama about it.

They don't start threads with titles like: "Oy vey ist mir!" or "Will I ever be happy again?" or "Please tell me this won't last forever." They already know they'll be happy again, that this won't last forever, and that ein bischen vey doesn't require a clickbait thread title.

@@CowgirlJane, thanks for the reminder that the process evolves and our goals and motivations will always be changing. That will help me down the road when I feel "different" from my first successful months.

Another great post, CGJ. Thank you.

I am have surgery in two weeks, it will be 53 weeks after my first info session. There were a few reasons why the journey has been such along one; I couldn't get an initial appointment until 8 weeks after the first session. Then, I stat a new job and couldn't get time off to see the P.A., or exercise physiologist. I had a few other delay but fortunately they were not due to being unable to lose the pre-op weight or pass the exercise test. The info sessions and six weeks of behavior modification training, mindfulness eating has been helpful. I have also gone to therapy and a 12 step program for over eating. I know full well this is not a cure all but a tool. I think full disclosure is crucial as well as realistic expectations. I learned that the first year is critical for getting the weight off, while my body is healing from the bypass and afterwards I will be focused on maintaining. The post open people explained how important it is to follow the instructions to a "t", and discussed all the good and bad.

I have had a few major surgeries and one laparoscopic so I think I am prepared physically. I have also been told by surgeon and others the first couple weeks are very hard psychologically and I will have a stage of "OMG, why did I do this?"

I read the boards and think a lot of people have unrealistic expectations and also have a lot to deal with if they are also going to be learning how to be a healthy weight for the first time as well. My surgeon start up told me people have killed themselves if they don't have another coping mechanism besides food. One woman told us she ran up an $8000 credit card bill buying new clothes right after she started losing weight. So, i am grateful for the stories, education and know I will still have down days. I also know that I will still be disorganized, have a temper and other issues but will have less pain madness body fat as I continue to work on improving.

@@cc1967 it sounds like you're really ready. The best of luck to you! You deserve this!