Lose Weight and Gain Confidence!
Lose Weight and Gain Confidence!
I know this is going to be a short article in comparison to many of my others but I feel like getting straight to the point with this subject.
I’ve been on the weight loss and gain rollercoaster more times than I’d like but every time I gain and every time I lose it’s always the same thing. When I gain, my confidence dwindles. When I lose the weight, my confidence skyrockets!
Has anyone ever stopped to wonder why this is? Why should the way we feel about ourselves depend on how much we weigh? What does being obese have to do with me loving myself?
In my opinion a lot has to do how we feel when we look in the mirror. We wonder what others see when they also look at us. If we look in the mirror and do not feel physically attractive, naturally we will feel “badly”. We all want to be attractive! Let us not lie about that, please. I enjoy putting on make-up, dressing nice when I go out of the house or when I’m taking pictures for everyone to look at. I surely don’t want to look really large, wearing frumpy clothes or showing all the blemishes (or my freckles) on my face. I also have a moon shaped face and when I’m larger my face accentuates this a lot more.
Thus brings us to the flipside. When we lose weight we find that our confidence skyrockets to the moon! All of a sudden we want to take hundreds of photos, put on our faces and smiles, wear nicer and smaller clothes that we didn’t have as an option being larger. We also may go out and do more things with friends and family because the embarrassment of others seeing us at our worst is no longer a barrier.
How do you feel about this personally however? Does it make you somewhat uncomfortable feeling good about yourself? Do you still get those voices in your head that leads you away from feeling good? You know the thoughts: “What will people think about me if I’m too happy?” or “Will others think I’m doing too much?” If this is you, I have one thing to say… “Who cares what other people think?” The only person completely responsible for your self-confidence is YOU. So long as you have breath in your lungs then you are worthy of loving yourself. Regardless of what size you wear or what the scale is telling you today. Believe it or not the first and most important step in this entire journey is loving yourself enough to get fit and healthy.
Enjoy the journey because once you hit your goal and maintenance, reflection will be all you have left. Remember how difficult it was to get to where you are so that you never slide back. Have a little fun with the new you, dress up a little bit, enjoy new outfits and go out and meet new people. Find things to do other than eating that will keep you active. Stay reflective, and most of all STAY POSITIVE.
Irene "LilMissDiva" Avila
Bariatric Pal Member since 2007. Bariatric Pal Super Host and Magazine Contributor.
Sharing a personal view of Weight Loss Surgery.
OK so I am an anomaly like my Lizzie tells me. I love ME. I'm not a narcissist, or have a narcissistic tendency. I just enjoy my life. If you pop by my house on the weekend you will find me in my grubbiest clothes sneakers or flip flops hair in a tussle and no make up on.
If I run into you in the super market after work or the drug store you might very well find the same thing. I love to get dressed up and put on my make up and I used to always have these long nails but recently just decided that I like them kind of short it's easier for me to type without hitting all the extra keys and take care of the puppies and lift weights!
I have gained and lost along the years, but I have to say that my motivation was never my confidence. When I got married for the first time I was 17 years old, I was 8 months pregnant and wore my mothers wedding gown which was a size 5! yep belly and all it fit me that's how tiny I was.
Fast forward to 2 years ago at the largest I have ever been and the most weight I have ever carried and I married the love of my life TWICE! We had two wedding ceremonies and I wore two totally different gowns, and had them both aired live so everyone could watch and enjoy! (I didn't invite a soul to join us at the event itself, I was the happiest bride you can ever imagine!) When we got home I had a huge brunch for all the family and friends who made my day by not attending my ceremonies!! I wore this tiny little Marilyn Monroe number, and you know what Large Lisa rocked it, and my hubby looked awesome too!
Confidence has nothing to with size, it has to do with state of mind. If you let someone tell you that you are fat and ugly and you give them the power to make you feel badly about who you are then you have a problem with YOU.
I don't know anyone I have never met another human being who is not totally amazing! If you believe you are then honey you are! What I think, is what you think. What people around you think and say are what you think and say they are your reflections and people will reflect back to you what you put out there.
So put YOU out there and be who and how you want to be. Red hair, Purple, Green Fat skinny freckles, what ever! You can be an anomaly just like me you just gotta like yourself!
I had no social confidence when I was at my high weight at age 28. I was confident in my career skills and my intelligence, but not in interactions with people. I could teach a training class and get accolades for my ability to explain concepts, but don't talk to me alone after the class ended.
I lost my excess weight in 1988-1989 and everything changed. I was a normal size and my social confidence skyrocketed. I tried new activities and met people. I met my husband and got married.
It took a lot of years for all the weight to come back. It took a lot of years for all that confidence to erode. I was still "all that" for quite some time. I was also in denial. Slowly I lost the self confidence I had when I was fit and happy.
My marriage deteriorated and I felt powerless in the relationship. I allowed myself to be overridden at every turn. I focused on my children.
Life became very miserable. A year ago I decided to get my confidence back. I needed to change my life and in the mental state I was in, that was never going to happen. I remembered the confidence I had when I lost weight years before.
I got my band in March this year and made huge life changes in July. I am taking my life a day at a time now but slowly my confidence is coming back.
For me it is not only about appearance. When I am obese I am also in a food coma every night and I am "checking out" of life. When I am eating clean and taking care of myself I am fully present and proud of myself. Yes, my size is part of that but it's so much more than size.
I don't ever want to feel "less than" again. I've learned that how I treat myself ultimately teaches others how they can treat me. And they are going to treat me well, or they will be out of my life.
Edited by JustWatchMe
I am a shy person naturally, I admit that. I could have made friends in high school if I wasn't so ashamed of me weighing over 200 pounds. To me the only way I will ever be confident to get a life and make friends is if I lose all my weight and get to a lean and fit size.
I am a shy person naturally, I admit that. I could have made friends in high school if I wasn't so ashamed of me weighing over 200 pounds. To me the only way I will ever be confident to get a life and make friends is if I lose all my weight and get to a lean and fit size.
This I hate to see. We are worthy no matter what we weigh. I'm not a Pollyanna...I know that it's easier if we 'fit' better into society but to base so much on what size we are makes me so sad. I've met the most wonderful, strong, sympathetic, and amazing people on this site and to think that some of them are hiding how wonderful they are really bothers me.
Riskygirl...you are more than your physical form. Please work on your feelings of confidence. You are stronger than you think just based on what you wrote here for all to see.
Yes, it's easier to have confidence when we are smaller, but don't hide your wonderful self a moment longer. I for one am glad to know you.
gowalking 10,790
Posted
What comes first...the chicken or the egg? Just this morning, I ran into two ladies I used to talk to riding the train into work. I haven't seen either of them for months...sometimes schedules change and suddenly someone you saw daily, you never see anymore.
The last time they saw me, I guess I was still on the cane. Which also meant they saw me 30+ pounds ago, the old haircut ago, and likely no makeup at that time. I know I have changed enormously over the last year since I got my hips replaced but it comes to the forefront when someone tells you that you look amazing. Did the confidence come first, or does one get confidence when the feedback is so positive?
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