Social Networks and Weight Loss

One of the first things you learn about weight loss surgery is that you need a support system. The more friends and family you have around, the more likely you are to lose weight. At least, that’s what you’re told.

It’s mostly true but it’s not completely right. The truth is that your friends and family don’t always help you lose weight. If you have anyone sabotaging your efforts, you already know that. But your friends and family may be dragging you down without trying to. You may not even realize it’s happening. Once you do, though, you can resist the bad influence.

Effect of Friends and Family on Weight

Take a look at your friends and family. Are they overweight? If they are, they may be getting in the way of your own weight loss. Part of it may be genetic. If one sibling gains weight, the other is 40 percent more likely to also gain weight, according to research described in the December 2011 edition of the Harvard Men’s Health Watch.

You might point to genes to explain why you can predict people’s weight gain based on their siblings’ weight gain. That may be partly true, but consider this. Spouses are 37 percent more likely to become obese if their spouse does. Okay, live together, eat together, gain or lose weight together. That makes sense, right?

But do you know whose weight is most closely related to yours? It’s not the weight of your siblings or spouse. It’s your friends’ weights! If you have a close friend who becomes obese, your risk of becoming obese increases by a scary 57 percent! And, if your friends want to lose weight, you’re more likely to want to lose weight.

How Your Friends Affect Your Weight

You don’t live with your friends, and you don’t share their genes. So why should their weight affect yours? Part of it is just from trying to be a good friend. Your friend’s job is to cheer you up and accept you for who you are. That’s great in most cases because we all need someone on our side.

Unfortunately, it works against you when you tell your friend that you just ate a half a pizza because you had a bad day at work, your friend may just tell you that you deserved that pizza. Worse, she might invite you out so that the two of you can split another pizza.

Also, your perception of what is normal and acceptable might shift towards what your friends do and think. If they are overweight or obese, you may not see yourself as unhealthily overweight even if you are. If they share a few boxes of doughnuts every Sunday, you might not see any problem with those extra hundreds of calories. But continuing to do what they do can get in the way of hitting your weight loss goals.

Make New Friends…

When you’re getting started on your weight loss journey, think about making a few new friends who are going to support your new commitment to health.

• Other weight loss surgery patients: they’re going through exactly the same things that you are.
  
• Exercise buddies: find them at the gym, in the park, or through craiglist.com or meetup.com. Don’t be shy about asking if you can join them for a workout or two. If they say no, ask someone else. You might end up making a few new friends that you can hang out at other times during the day.
  

…And Keep the Old

You don’t have to ditch your old friends and stay away from your siblings and parents if they’re overweight. Ideally, you can be open with them. Explain how hard you are working to get healthy, and let them know how they can help.

If you’re lucky, they’ll be willing to change some of their behaviors to support your goals and get healthier themselves.

• Meet to go shopping or take a walk in the park instead of to eat at a restaurant.
  
• Order an egg white omelet instead of pancakes with butter, syrup, and sausage when you go out for breakfast.
  
• Meet your friends to do crafts or pack lunches for a homeless shelter instead of baking and eating cookies.
  

If your old friends and your family are unwilling to change, you don’t need to avoid them. Even being aware of how friends and family can affect you can protect you from following their leadwhile you’re hanging out with them. Be on the lookout for unhealthy behaviors, and make your own healthy decisions.

• Skip the table’s appetizers and enjoy your glass of ice water.
  
• Order what you know is right, like chicken breast or fish and vegetables, while everyone else is ordering pasta or steak, mashed potatoes, and gravy.
  
• Savor coffee while everyone else is digging into dessert.
  
• Lean on them for sympathy when you’re struggling, but don’t use them as eating buddies anymore.
  

Eventually, they may see how happy and successful you are, and they may be ready to ask you for help losing weight.

Your friends and family are there to support you, but sometimes their love for you isn’t good for your weight loss journey. Ask them to help you out by setting a good example, and keep yourself from following their lead if you know they’re eating badly.