Does this make my BUTT look BIG?

A skewed body image is fairly common in obese or formerly-obese people. Back in bad old days, I couldn’t see or comprehend how fat I was. I could see it in photographs, but not in the mirror. Seven years later and 115 pounds lighter, I’m beginning to see and believe how small I am now.

I still struggle with my dislike of a particular body part. Although the dislike is somewhat balanced by my like for other body parts and the sized XS clothes I wear, that awful body part bugs me. I can see the size labels on my clothes and the numbers on my scale, but the mirror tells a different story. Just like poor Jema in this article’s cartoon, I still have fat days. So, what’s going on in that teeny organ I laughingly call my brain? Let’s pick up that rock and take a look at the creepy crawlies underneath it. Call it shock therapy, aversion therapy, or unflinching honesty. It must be done sooner or later, so let’s do it now.

My big bugaboo is my belly, and its reign of terror has gone on for 50+ years. Even when I was just overweight, not yet obese, my belly caused a business associate who hadn’t seen me in a while to ask, “Jean, when’s your baby due?” And when I said curtly, “I’m not pregnant,” this jerk said, “Hmmm. Are you sure about that?”

Now, I often say that I have no desire to ever wear a bikini again, not in public and not in private. That’s not due to modesty or age-appropriate dressing. It’s because I don’t think the world is ready to see my belly. According to the body fat quiz at http://www.healthcentral.com/cholesterol/home-body-fat-test-2774-143.html?ic=4004 ), my body fat percent is now 21.5% - ideal for a woman of my height and age. That 21.5% fat includes both subcutaneous (under the skin) and visceral (surrounding my internal organs), and it amounts to 25 lbs. of fat. In my mind, every ounce of that is located on and in my belly.

So, what can I do about my belly? I’m sometimes tempted to click on one of those omnipresent internet ads that proclaim, “Trim belly fat with this one weird old trick,” but I don’t because I suspect the trick is just too weird for a sensible senior citizen like me.

I exercise 5 days a week, doing aerobic/cardio training, strength training, flexibility and stretching. I’m working on better posture and firming up my abdominal muscles. A tummy tuck would probably help, but it’s not going to happen unless I win the lottery (after buying a ticket for the first time, of course), so I dress carefully to hide my “too fat” mid-section, in clothing that’s not clingy and doesn’t smack of maternity-wear.

I’m hiding my trouble zone not just from other people but from myself when I dress like that. In introspective moments of reflection, I ask myself if I’m continuing my old can’t-see-the-fat trick. Shouldn’t I finally face that demon?

Maybe, maybe not. Obsessive thinking has rarely helped me deal with life’s challenges. A very honest friend confirms that fat belly is real. Rather than allow it to run my life, I’m going to try changing the way I react to it. I think that’s a strategy that will help me in lots of different ways, some of them unrelated to my faulty body image. I also suspect that lots of different people underestimate the power of their own thoughts. If negative thinking about your own body troubles you too, why don’t you join me in the effort to put the negative stuff in its place and cultivate positive thinking?

And dare I suggest a laugh or two? Check out the Jema & Alice cartoon you’ll find here: http://jean-onthebandwagon.blogspot.com/2014/07/does-this-make-my-butt-look-bio.html