I Threw It Out!!!
Umm, fudge! It had been a crazy busy week. Away from home for 10 days, facilitating two training courses and speaking at an Obesity Summit, I was tired and ready to go home. Though I have a pretty good routine when I travel and stay focused on my good Success Habits, I was tempted beyond my ability to resist, to buy a piece of fudge. Umm, I love fudge and of course the walnuts added the all important “protein.” I had kept up with my exercise and make good food choices all week, so I felt justified in splurging a bit.
As it always does, the first bite was heavenly! Smooth and creamy. So good. I relished that first bite, waited a bit and then another, and yet another. Enough! I thought. I’m good. Now I am going to mindfully throw the rest away. A difficult thing to do knowing how much I paid for it and due to all of the starving people in the world. But I knew it had to go. With Michael Jordan flair, I strutted by the trash can and slam dunked it. There! Good for me. I would have high-fived the guy next to me, but he gave me a funny look so I decided I would just celebrate privately.
Boarding for my flight began and victoriously, I marched onto the plane. Safe from “too much” fudge. An hour passed by still on the tarmac, waiting for a mechanical repair. Finally, the captain announced that we would need to deplane and board another flight. By that time I had missed my connecting flight in Denver so I knew enough to get off the plane and get quickly in line for re-booking.
As I waited patiently in line, I don’t know why, but the thought of my left over fudge so close by started to haunt me. Though I am embarrassed to admit it, here is the conversation in my head. “This situation is beyond stressful and surely another piece of fudge would calm my nerves.” Honestly, you are not thinking of getting the fudge out of that trash bin over there are you?” Well, it is still good, it was wrapped up and in the bag.” Really?” What will people think of you digging in the trash?” “It will be right on top. Easy and there are not too many people over there, I can be quick!” Come on, seriously, you are better than this. You don’t eat food from the trash! Well I guess you are right! Thank goodness.”
Whew! That was close. It shouldn’t have even crossed my mind but it did. Why, I wonder? What is this problem I have with food? I was pleased that my good voice over ruled my temptress voice but I would have preferred not to have had that conversation at all! Perhaps you can relate?
Sometimes I find myself focusing on how unfair it is that I struggle with such unhealthy food relationships. But then, I am both relieved and proud that I have been able to win many of these battles. And every time I do – the “you can do it, you are better than that” voice gets stronger and stronger. For those of you who have heard my other crazy food stories, you’ll know how important it is when I say, I don’t eat M & M’s off the floor, whipped cream with my fingers, OR fudge from the trash! Yeah!
Colleen M. Cook
In 2009 she was named “Bariatric Professional of the Year” by the Bariatric Care Network, and recently received International honors for her research.
Colleen is a sought after speaker for both bariatric patient events and professional conferences. She is the former host of the radio show, “Obesity’s Surgical Solution”. She is the author of the internationally acclaimed, bariatric best seller, The Success Habits of Weight Loss Surgery Patients The Success Habits resources are used in bariatric facilities throughout the world, helping patients learn and live these important principles for a lifetime of success.
Follow her at colleencook.com or contact her at cmcook59@gmail.com or 801-898-4212" rel="external nofollow">801-898-4212
Call
Send SMS
Add to Skype
You'll need Skype CreditFree via Skype
Colleen, You are a talented writer. I enjoy each and every one of your articles....... Love that sense of humor you have. I try to live my life not too seriously, so I can relate in many ways to you and your wacky self........ I probably would have been personally praying that somebody had poured the rest of their Starbucks on top of it to SEAL THE DEAL of not getting it out of the trash can. On a personal note, I don't like FUDGE !
You might want to examine the first sentence of your first two paragraphs. If this is a literary device, feel free to ignore my post.
This somewhat reminds me of my occasional self-inflicted deterrent: Pre-VSG, if I baked a pie or whatever--something I know I didn't need, and if I kept it, would eat all of it--I'd eat some, feel guilty, then toss the rest in my trash can and pour bleach on it. That way, for sure, there was no trash can diving.
Too bad you didn't have some bleach with you, but you did well without it. Good.
Darn it! I LOVE fudge. Especially the kind with the walnuts. I bypassed some the other day and all day was kicking myself for not going ahead and getting it for just a small bite. I'm only 3 months out, and still trying to develop those good habits, but that nagging voice in my head all the rest of the day begging for just a small piece of fudge was a real bummer!
I about peed my pants reading this. I have had very similar conversations with myself. Tonight I bought a bag of marshmallows because we were having a campfire. I made 2 of the most beautifully toasted marshmallows and ate them. The rest of the bag went in the fire..... I know it's a waste but it would be torture to have them in the house!
I had a similar experience today.. I was riding home from the grocery store and the noise of a child crying and nagging for Snacks and drink..A friend babbling in the back seat. My hubby hitting every pot hole he could find..It was the end of a very trying week for me!.....I thought I was going to lose my mind...I told my hubby that if things were how they used to be I would go home and make a big pot of Spaghetti and meatballs. And drown my sorrows...He looked at me and he saw me smile.....I told him thank god I have my tool..Because I can't do it even if I wanted to. And have no desire to do it anyway. But it is amazing to me how close to the surface it always is!!!! I could taste it..The soothing, filling Pasta and sauce with home made meatballs..It was temporary madness...But I find it happens when I think I have it all figured out...
Thanks for sharing your story! It gave me a a giggle or two! 
Did that with a chocolate chip cookie just this week at a tech conference! Had been actively searching for them, (it was 3 pm and I KNEW there was a table somewhere)! When I found it, happily munched down half a cookie and promptly tossed the rest feeling only slightly guilty for the indiscretion and victorious for not being a glutton!
Kelly Gonzalez 52
Posted
Loved the reading, and made me chuckle. I'm sure we will all have times where we will go through the similar. You had me wondering "will she, no not in the middle of the airport, but wait it should be right on top, and who would know if she walks away with it, and opens some where else. So does she? Ah, she didn't, good for her." Lol. Thanks!
Share this comment
Link to comment
Share on other sites