Take off those regain glasses and turn it around!
A few years ago I distinctly remember reading a post from a woman that went something like this.
I hate my hair. I don't like my face and don't know how to use makeup. I hate what I'm eating every day and I'm sick of it. Oh and I gained 5 pounds.
One of my most often repeated quotes...."we are rarely upset for the reason we think". Of course I assume you can guess what she was really upset about. I wrote her and told her to get a cute haircut, go to a department store and get someone to show her how to do makeup (free) or check out thousands of makeup videos on You Tube. I also told her she could change what she eats every day. Of course none of that made her feel better because she didn't FEEL like doing any of that because she was wearing her regain glasses loud and proud.
It seems that for most people everything looks pretty awful through those regain glasses. I want to help you take them off. You say "Yeah right…like I haven’t tried… and mostly..... I don't FEEL like it. I don't feel like doing anything." I have often pointed out that when you were at this weight on the way down you were ecstatic! Do you see how your perspective totally messes with your head? Why do we obsess about the lowest weight we ever reached instead of constantly realizing what our highest weight was and being grateful we aren't there? And if you choose to obsess about your lowest weight, doesn't it make sense to move towards doing something about it instead of continuing to walk down regain road?
Unfortunately we have this big adjustment to make after weight loss surgery because the first year we are wearing the "honeymoon glasses" and EVERYTHING looks GREAT! Remember how wonderful everything was when you lost your first 30-40 pounds? Yet you were heavier than you are now. You could hardly mess up at all the first year. It was all good!
One day you wake up and you can't find your honeymoon glasses. You start to take for granted the little things like being able to tie your shoes, paint your toe nails, fit in an airplane seat..... and the next thing you know it isn't enough anymore. Some of us hang in there for a while or even a long while and eventually something shifts and you start to think about how much you miss those honeymoon glasses.... you start looking for that feeling in other things like our old friend Mr. Food. He’s tappin' you on the shoulder every day..."Pssst....remember me? Remember how much fun we had? Oh come on... a little sum-um sum-um won't hurt you". All the while your old friend has some regain glasses stuck in his back pocket just waiting to slide them on your face.
One of the most extreme cases of the perspective meter being out of whack was a woman I met who had lost 485 pounds. Not a typo! She lost 485 pounds but she had gained 40 back. She was all out of sorts and literally more miserable than when she weighed her heaviest.
I asked her to imagine that 485 pounds sitting on the floor. Right next to it 40 lbs. I guess we could say it looks something like this. (For those with perfectly analytical brains please forgive me…I guesstimated it)
I told her not to give that 40 pounds the time of day and dust it off. We give that regain so much power and of course we can pile plenty of shame on top of that for good measure. Shame is toxic, shame keeps us down. Shame keeps those damn regain glasses cemented to our face.
Here's the thing....if you don't take off the glasses and begin to turn things around....chances are that you'll look up in another year with more regain. Get off the insanity train today. Of course you remember... “Insanity=doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome”
Everyone is different but here are a few suggestions. You can’t build Rome in a day but you can always do the next best thing. (Thank you Post-Op and a Doc for “the next best thing”)
Look at your before picture in the morning and FEEL what you felt like. Sit it that for a while. I do that every morning without fail. Remember the things you wanted so badly. BE GRATEFUL you aren't there. If I could put you back in that body for a week you would be SO grateful to be you right now.
Quit thinking about the perceived mountain you have to move and pick up the shovel and start with one scoop at a time. Instead of Nike's "just do it", change it to "just start". (Thank you Chuck for that one) It’s too overwhelming to plan into the next century. I can hear the questions now….how long will this take? It DOES NOT matter. Just move toward your goal instead of away from it..... just for today. Today is all that counts.
Get the crap food out of your house. I know many people who find creative ways to do this with a family that feels they have to have the crap food. Put it in a place it can locked up but you'd do your family a favor by getting it out of their reach as well. Sugar and junk food is as addictive as any drug and they will guarantee that you will still be wearing those regain glasses. See my “M&M” story in this post.
Find a way to move your body that you can enjoy. I LOVE to dance. I hate to run….I wanted to love it but I don’t. I wanted that runner's high and I just could not get it. I love yoga and if you think you can’t do it, watch this! I describe yoga as slow dancing with yourself. Abby Lentz from Heartfelt Yoga is a dear friend. Look her up, she has DVD’s.
You won’t do anything for very long if you perceive it as suffering. When you eat healthier food envision how you are nourishing your body. Remember it will make you feel better and look better instead of putting on more weight which equates to depression, physical pain, more misery and a shorter life span. Again the most important part of this is to stop the bleeding that has begun with regain. Nothing in life is easy so here comes your choices…...choose your hard.
Yvonne McCarthy
Musician, Artist, Photographer,computer geek and weight loss surgery aficionado. Over a 30 year period I lost one hundred pounds one hundred times but remained morbidly obese. On March 30th, 2001, I had weight loss surgery weighing in at 260 pounds (definitely not my highest). Since that day I have lost and maintained a 130 pound loss.
I am a passionate animal lover, I play guitar and sing, play piano, cello, a bit of drums and the recorder (kinda like a flute). I love putting my photography and music together on video and I’m a craft making fool. This image expresses exactly how I felt for so long.
What best describes what I do: I’m here for each of you…to hold your hand as I walk down the road ahead of you. When I see the bumps in the road, I’ll tell you where they are and that makes an easier journey for you. And when you get down the road, you can reach back your hand and help the ones coming in behind you and so it goes…and the ripple in the pond becomes a tidal wave of healing water for so many to follow.
Please feel free to contact me. I am certified as a Health and Wellness Coach and volunteer in order to give back to the community that gave me so much in the beginning.
It’s all about paying it forward….
Many blessings,
Y
Yvonne (aka bariatricgirl.com).
Love it and yes, its so true.
Love this article!
Thanks for that article….im 6 months out so technically in the honeymoon phase…and enjoying every minute of it….but I will keep this article as time moves forward...
Thanks @@BariatricGirl !!!! 
Thanks for that article….im 6 months out so technically in the honeymoon phase…and enjoying every minute of it….but I will keep this article as time moves forward...
Thanks @@BariatricGirl !!!!
I'm so glad you read it. If you can find time to journal your feelings it might come in handy later so you can be reminded of the things you are grateful for today. At some point the enjoyment you feel now will become every day life and that's where some of us start missing those honeymoon glasses too much. I will post another article soon where I talk about comparing it to getting a brand new hot sports car. (if that's something you'd like) The first month or so you are looking for places to drive. At some point that brand new car just becomes your car. Exterior things never make us happy for long. Some people keep going after those new things to get that thrill. Start each day thinking about what you are grateful for. I can't explain how important it is to live with an attitude of gratitude because things go so much smoother. Thanks again for the kind words...
Thank you so much for right this!!!
Wow thank you for this! You said lots of things I tell people all the time. I personally lost 103lbs to gain 30lbs back. I've recently taken off my regain glasses and am feeling great again! =)
This is my first visit to any on line forum. I had my 2 year post op visit today. I had a sleeve gastrectomy in July of 2012. I suffered a gastric leak and the complications that come with it. Long story short, I had to have several stents placed and a PICC line for parenteral nutrition. The stents caused horrible nausea and I did not eat for 6 weeks. I lost weight way ahead of the curve and my relationship with food as nourishment was altered. I had a maladapted post op course. I was severely malnourished and could not work much less exercise for over 3 months. That fact also added to a less than appropriate approach to exercise. I recovered and I am grateful and happy I did not become as ill as some with this complication. I am, overall, still happy with the results and having the procedure done.
That said, I have regained 17 pounds to 113 lost. My al time high was 273 and my low was 158, which is normal weight and BMI for my height. I want to turn this around. My struggle is that I had to eat small meals frequently to recover and nourish myself, but now I have to accept that this is "snacking" and get back to the more Protein based meals to curb the hunger and snacking. I have never embraced consistent effective exercise and I know that is imperative.
I wanted to comment on your post because I identity with the "honeymoon" glasses" as the first year (especially the first six months) the wt fell off because of my complications. There are those who thought I got to thin. But my goal is to be normal weight and BMI, and I was there, but I have to get to working hard to re-attain it. I am going through a divorce and I think I can attribute the 10 pound gain over the past 6 months to stress eating and poor choices. I don't want to lose myself in misery. I have signed up for newsletters and support group. Please let me know if there are any other resources that you recommend.
Thanks!
Thank you so much for writing this article. I have spent the better part of the year in my regain glasses. It is high time that I took them off and put on my 'just for today" glasses.
You are a wonderful writer and your inspiration, I hope, will help me to do things right!!
Thank you so much. I needed to read this. I've not been on this site in a long time. I lost my husband and a brother to cancer in the last 16 months. I lost a total of 130 pounds and have put back on 35. I had sleeve surgery May of 2012. I remember those honeymoon glasses. Oh how I loved them. Then things started to fall down around me. My husband diagnosed with cancer and died 6 months later. Then my brother 13 months after that. Life is hard but I don't want to go back to 300 pounds.
I never thought about things the way you are describing. You have given me hope and a new outlook. So thank you so much. I just have to figure out how to start eating again. I gained this weight by drinking "frappes". I don't eat much even to keep me nourished but the caffeine and sugar in the frappes keep me "up"... I use them for comfort and they are loaded with calories. I want to get back on track. I hope by reading this it can turn me around.
Blessings,
I am going through a divorce and I think I can attribute the 10 pound gain over the past 6 months to stress eating and poor choices. I don't want to lose myself in misery.
My weight loss has stopped. I am going through a divorce as well. I'm taking it a day at a time and finding ways to soothe myself without food. Support groups are very important.
Wow thank you for this! You said lots of things I tell people all the time. I personally lost 103lbs to gain 30lbs back. I've recently taken off my regain glasses and am feeling great again! =)
I'm sorry I missed this! I'm so glad you took off those glasses and have found happiness again!
This is my first visit to any on line forum. I had my 2 year post op visit today. I had a sleeve gastrectomy in July of 2012. I suffered a gastric leak and the complications that come with it. Long story short, I had to have several stents placed and a PICC line for parenteral nutrition. The stents caused horrible nausea and I did not eat for 6 weeks. I lost weight way ahead of the curve and my relationship with food as nourishment was altered. I had a maladapted post op course. I was severely malnourished and could not work much less exercise for over 3 months. That fact also added to a less than appropriate approach to exercise. I recovered and I am grateful and happy I did not become as ill as some with this complication. I am, overall, still happy with the results and having the procedure done.
That said, I have regained 17 pounds to 113 lost. My al time high was 273 and my low was 158, which is normal weight and BMI for my height. I want to turn this around. My struggle is that I had to eat small meals frequently to recover and nourish myself, but now I have to accept that this is "snacking" and get back to the more Protein based meals to curb the hunger and snacking. I have never embraced consistent effective exercise and I know that is imperative.
I wanted to comment on your post because I identity with the "honeymoon" glasses" as the first year (especially the first six months) the wt fell off because of my complications. There are those who thought I got to thin. But my goal is to be normal weight and BMI, and I was there, but I have to get to working hard to re-attain it. I am going through a divorce and I think I can attribute the 10 pound gain over the past 6 months to stress eating and poor choices. I don't want to lose myself in misery. I have signed up for newsletters and support group. Please let me know if there are any other resources that you recommend.
Thanks!
OH MY GOD!! I'm so so sorry I missed your message. Bless your heart. You've been through so much. You are very smart to have figured out that you are snacking. It is not easy to keep the weight off but just like the graphic I posted...."choose your hard" right?
It's not so much about the Protein as it is about eating good, healthy food and at the same time....find a way to get your body moving. I'd love to offer my blog as an additional resource. It's at www.bariatricgirl.com. I'd also like to send you a document that's still in the rough stages but still great information. It's a compilation of many of the answers I've given to people who have regained and I think it would be a big help. You can email me at yvonne@bariatricgirl.com and I'll be happy to send it to you. Again I'm so sorry I missed your message.....
LilBoo007 491
Posted
Wonderful article, and very true!!
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